HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

A sad day

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/3/2006 3:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I had a very sad day yesterday.

Last night I had a miscarriage and I didn't even know I was pregnant.

Me and my boyfriend haven't been trying for a family, we are still young and have no money so it was a complete shock to us.  Even though I didn't want a family until I was older I can't help but feel sad.  I don't know how to react to the news really.  I think I am still shocked.

I know that I still don't want a family right now as I want the best for my children and want to be married and settled and have some money before I think about any of that.  My boyfriend was shocked, worried for me and what I was going through physically but is also relieved as we couldn't have coped with a baby.  I just don't know how to react really.

Thanks for listening everyone

Posted 8/3/2006 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
I've been there Victoria. I had a miscarriage, when I was about 20, 4 days after I found out that I was pregnant. It is the epitomy of bittersweet.

I am here for you if you need me.
Posted 8/3/2006 4:44 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you went thru that. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Posted 8/3/2006 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Victoria, it is okay to feel sadness at the loss and relief that you have an opportunity to plan your family in the future. No one knows why nature puts these things in our pathway but there isn't one way that are supposed to feel. You feel what you feel and it is valid. It is also okay to take time to move through this. Please also remember that while your boyfriend is concerned about you, he also has had a loss/relief situation. Share this and let it make you stronger together.
Posted 8/3/2006 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
Victoria,
God, where do I start? My heart is breaking for you sweetie. I really, really hope you are OK. Or at least will be soon. If there is anything I can do for you please let me know. I don't want to sound preachy, because I'm not even sure if I believe in God or not but, I have been told time and time again that 'God has a plan for everyone, and he never gives you more than you can handle'. These words are meant to comfort in some way. I hope they do that for you.

I think it is ok for you to be confused about how to feel. This would have been a life changing event. Now it's gone before you even knew it was there. That would confuse the hell out of me. You need to take care of yourself first. Then you need to grieve for your loss. I'm sorry, it really pains me that I don't have better advice for you.


You are in my thoughts.
Donna
Posted 8/3/2006 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Thankyou all for your replies
You are all so very kind.

I'm sure i will get there, its just been such a shock. I have taken things easy today and have been on the sofa all day.
Thankyou again for all of your posts, it meant a lot

Victoria
Posted 8/4/2006 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Victoria, how are you doing today?  I have been thinking about you and know that though this is a most difficult and confusing time with all the mixed feelings that you are so strong and will come through.  I am always here for you.  Cyber hugs across the ocean to you....
Posted 8/5/2006 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Els thankyou - you are a wonderful friend and a great support to me. Thankyou for your help the other day.
I am doing a bit better thankyou. We are having a quiet weekend and I am taking things easy.
I appreciate everyone's replies and support.

Thankyou again els, greatly appreciated

Vic
Posted 8/6/2006 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
Anytime...I am always here.  I have been having some problems with my DSL the last few days, I was upgraded to 5 megs and for some reason I keep getting bumped off the Internet.  So, I havent been able to get on MSN or stay on for very long.  Hopefully I well get this fixed tomorrow... .  I just want you to know I am thinking of you and am glad you are doing a bit better each day.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply