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For the very first time...

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Posted 8/23/2006 12:16 AM (GMT 0)
...I'm in a place where I know I'll be helped.

I had my first appointment with a psychologist yesterday morning for an evaluation! It was terrifying at first, having to talk to a complete stranger about not feeling good inside my own skin. I almost started sobbing a few times, but caught myself -- after all, she wasn't there to judge me. She was there to listen and to help me get better, right?

We talked about a lot of things, from how I was feeling to my relationships with friends and family. I was in her office for almost an hour -- and when I finally left, I felt so much better. Lighter. Like life was beginning to look up. You know the feeling? She made sure to get me in for an appointment with a psychiatrist on Wednesday -- tomorrow -- and I think I'm going to be put on medication. She's going to make sure I sign up with a counselor at the Health Service center on campus (that's right...I'm a college girl) for therapy sessions. I'll see her off and on after I start school, though...and she said I'll have to drive back to my hometown to see that same psychiatrist so that they can monitor me when I first start medication, in case the levels need to be adjusted.

I'm still a little afraid about tomorrow morning. I still don't feel entirely comfortable about talking to perfect strangers -- the shyness is excruciating sometimes -- but I think I'll be okay.

What about you guys? How was your first time? I'm so curious to hear about everyone else's first time...I'm hoping you'll give me some advice. After all, a little knowledge goes a long way in fighting fear, right?

:)

Posted 8/23/2006 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Elegy --

I'm SO pleased to hear this -- wonderful that you can feel you are going to be helped and that you're really placing yourself well to get better. Great going girl! -- Let us know how the session goes, eh? Don't worry about being afraid/nervous: I think that's natural -- I was white as a sheet and shaking by the time I got to my first session of the last batch of counselling, but oh lordy it helped me! -- And I think I was afraid partly because I wanted help so much and that left me much more nervous about what if it didn't? etc.

The first time I had therapy when I really knew that I was in the right place and would get help was when I was at college too. -- I went for cognitive behavioural therapy to help me deal with depression and an eating disorder (anorexia/bulimia -- bit of a mixture!). It was my complete godsend and it was amazing for me -- getting help that really did help for the first time and being able to see how much of a turn around I was making.

I wish you so much luck with this Elegy.

Rosie x
Posted 8/23/2006 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Ya Elegy, I see that you have some wonderful feedback from two of our veteran members on their first experience with counseling.  I myself don’t recall my first session as it was so long ago....lol!  I did just want to say that it is great that you have taken this step to try to get better and help yourself.  Please do keep posting and if you do have any questions at all feel free to post them...we are always here.  Take care
Posted 8/23/2006 7:41 PM (GMT 0)

Thank you so, so, so much for the encouraging words -- Rosie, I think I almost cried at your kindess and encouragement...you're so sweet. And Atedogs, your support and humor (man, I hope I get an eye-candy doc back at campus...hehe) brought me up after feeling a little low today. Els, thanks for the support -- and I'm on my way to feeling completely safe and open here. Wow...your guys' responses seriously brightened my day. ;)

Oh! And my appointment this morning went just fine. I talked to the psychiatrist there for a long time...and she was really nice. After an hour or so, she said that she'd be putting me on 25 to 50 mg of Zoloft for a month -- and that after a month, I'm supposed to come back and see her in case the dosage needed to be adjusted. I also got Ambien CR for sleeping, because the anxiety attacks gave me insomnia from hell.

I'm going to start the Zoloft tomorrow, and my doctor said that it should also help to alleviate my social anxiety and OC tendencies. I'm actually a little excited, I suppose. I'm so happy that things are turning around...so happy that I gathered up the little courage I had to approach the right people about getting help. And this community has helped so much, too. Even in the little time I've been here... :)

Oh, wow. At this very moment, I can almost forget I have depression. And I'm going to celebrate this tiny slice of time. I hope you guys feel something like this today -- you should. After all, you've helped this scared 'n silly girl feel a little better about her first visits to the Behavioral Health Clinic. Hehe.


Posted 8/24/2006 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hey, which scared n' silly girl did we help?? I must've missed her -- no scared n' sillies around here as far as I can see -- just one strong girl who's getting help and doing it in the most wonderfully constructive way I've seen in a long time too. -- And I also get a bit excited when I start my meds, cos I know it's upwards to feeling better and being able to handle the things that life likes to chuck around again. Never play down your strength, lovely Elegy (you studying literature, btw? -- great name): you show your strength daily from where I'm standing (well, sitting really ... slouching more like!).

Any time we can help you, pick you up, celebrate with you -- anything -- we're here -- and your post was such a lovely one to be able to respond to.

Rosie x
Posted 8/24/2006 4:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Elegy,
It does feel good to get things out in the open. My sessions have solved some problems, identified others and provided me with someone to talk to who is not there to judge, but to help find the clues to myeventual hapiness. Good on you! Jer
Posted 8/25/2006 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
:)

Thanks, guys. And yep, Rosie -- I'm an English major with an emphasis in literature! School starts again in a week, and I'm anxious to see if the medication kicks in before classes begin. Ugh. Right now it's a little up and down, as far as mood and motivation go...but I can tell that unloading everything on the psychologist and psychiatrist helped. Hooray for "talk therapy," hmm?
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