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Weekend rut..responsibilities, errands..leave no room for excitement or joy

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Posted 9/16/2006 10:50 PM (GMT 0)
Like many of the posts I have read..I feel the very same way when it comes to weekends.  When Friday comes, I always think.."hey..weekends almost here" and then when the weekend gets here..I am busy grocery shopping, doing laundry, spending time with my cats, cleaning litter box, catching up on e-mails, reading, bills, running errands..that before I know it..the weekend is over.  I go to work on Monday and all my co-workers had plans with their family or friends such as amusement parks, and other fun things and I did nothing fun or entertaining.

I feel lonely on Saturday nights and Sundays.  I live alone with my two cats.  Most of my friends have moved away and have no boyfriend..not sure when the last time it was since I was on a date. I am currently on Remeron for depression..but yet, I feel no joy in life..just going through the motions.  I don't feel excited about anything..feel like life is just flying by me...and I sit home on weekends feeling lonely...wanting to do something..but no idea what.  I miss the fun person I used to be.  I remember going dancing in my twenties and thirties..having fun..going out with friends for happy hour..but now I am forty-four..while that is hardly old..I just feel that my best years are behind me.

Last September, when I was hospitalized due to a bad reaction to antidepressant medication..I went to a group therapy session and they said that many depressed people are stuck in a rut.  They gave me a flier on recreation centers to call..and asked each of us, what gives us joy and excitement, or what used to give us joy, passion for life and excitement..and I said, that I used to love to play badminton, table tennis, card and board games and bingo.  They said I could do this at the recreation centers. and I have called all the recreation centers and they don't have any of these activities, and I have no idea on where to go to do any of these.  I have looked in the paper (community/event) section or don't see any thing that has badminton, card, table tennis, bingo and board games.

With that, I continue to sit home weekend after weekend..just feeling lonely and stuck in a rut.  I usually can't wait to get back to work on Monday.  Thanks for listening.

Posted 9/17/2006 5:22 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Rianna -

I understand how you feel.  Weekends are always much more difficult for me to get through than Mondays through Fridays.  It seems as though when I get back to work on Monday mornings and my bosses ask me how my weekend was - I can never find anything to share.  I hardly get out of the house and when I do it's only to come to the library and use the computer to talk with you all.  Makes my life pretty boring compared to all of the get togethers and school functions that my bosses and co-workers have going on.  :(  

I also feel very lonely on Friday and Saturday nights.  At my last job, several of my former co-workers would go out for a beer or get together for dinner after work on Fridays.  But, even though I work with more people now, there are fewer folks to hang out with, since my new co-workers are all attached and have lots going on in their lives.  It makes my life feel very empty. 

I'm not sure what the answer here is Rianna.  I have signed up for a TGIF Yoga class that's held on Friday evenings, so that will get me out of the house at least one night and I'm trying to find more friends.  But, lately it seems like the harder I try the more desparate I come off...  I hope you find a way to enjoy your Sunday evening, even if it is staying in and playing solitare!  :)  

BTW, are you seeing a therapist?  I've found a great great one, so it's helped being able to talk to someone else about whatever is troubling me. 

   

Posted 9/17/2006 6:20 PM (GMT 0)

I'm 20 years older than you, married, with family near by, and I am still so overcome by your post that it is hard to respond.  I totally identify with your situation all the time, not just on weekends.  Actually, for me, weekends are sometimes better, with a chance to spend time with kids and/or grands.

A partial solution is finding individual pleasures.  Like you, solitaire is a lifesaver - too bad we can't take our skill to Vegas, lol.  Other hobbies ie: refinish a piece of furniture, sew, read, build a doll house, help time to pass, but provide no human contact.  Church activities would be great if I'd go.  Still ... it's all to easy to get into the 'why bother?' mindset.  Being a hermit is no fun!  :-)

Posted 9/18/2006 6:22 PM (GMT 0)

Gosh, I could have written your post.  I'm 43, live alone with my two cats, and don't date.  I am not happy at all with my job right now but I am putting off looking for a new one until next year.  My two best friends have moved away and I do not like my co-workers enough to socialize with them.  I think the idea of a yoga class on the weekend would be good.  I can't afford exercise classes but I am trying to get started again with a yoga video I have.  If you get along with older people you may see if there is a senior center where you could play backgammon and such with them to pass the time.  I read a lot.  I also have crohn's disease and I am thinking of going to the local support group for it.

Are you comfortable going out by yourself?  I have done lots by myself.  I've been to a concert, and a NASCAR pole night that I won tickets to but couldn't find anyone to go with me so I went alone.  Two weeks ago I went to an arts and crafts fair.  I also go to the movies by myself.  It gets me out of the house some even if I am not communicating with other people.  I hope you are feeling better soon.

Posted 9/19/2006 4:07 AM (GMT 0)
Reanna and Bluemeanies -- my goodness! I'm 43, female, live with my two cats, and don't date either!

My weekends are really tough too, I slept through this past weekend because of depression, and possibly side effects from the a/d .... and also because I have no idea what to do with myself (due to the depression, just lost interest in everything).

Shall we start a "single, 40-something, depressed with 2 cats" club?

Posted 9/19/2006 11:26 PM (GMT 0)
LOL! Thanks for all the posts. I never realized there were so many thirty and forty something out there who lived alone with two cats like I do. I wish we all lived closer to each other. I am in Cincinnati. Thanks again for your posts and understanding. I feel motivated enough to know I want to play backgammon..table tennis..badminton, card and board games..but I have no idea where to go to do this. I have tried everything. I am so tired of doing things alone..got tired of going to movies alone..restaurants alone..singles dances alone..church alone..parks alone..just tired of it. Maybe I should go to the senior center. I know this sounds a bit strange..but I can't wait to get older..so that I can live in a senior/retirement/assisted living center..I went to one once..and everyone was having a great time..dancing, playing games, darts, all sorts of fun activities...I wanted to move in. Beats living alone with two cats in an apartment..where the best I get from my "neighbors" is a nod. They don't do a lot of social activies where I live..every once in a while..they will have "parties"at the clubhouse..but it's the type of parties where people are with their families and children..and if there are single men..they just stand against a wall, and don't want to talk..I have tried to be friendly or smile at them..they just want to stand against the wall and drink their beer. It's very awkward, and I end up getting frustrated and leaving just after I get there. It is tough being single..that is for sure.
Posted 9/22/2006 9:07 PM (GMT 0)

Hey Rianna -

I've often felt that there needed to be more community in our neighborhoods.  I mean sure we have the YMAC and other such organizations for families and youths, but there seems to be a lack of organized things for people in their 30's, 40's, and 50's, we seem to be forgotten, since most folks our age are married and have kids.  They're involved with the PTA and their kids stuff, but there isn't anything for folks who have either opted out of that route or just haven't found someone who they want to spend the majority of their time with.  I guess I've always sort of wondered why there isn't some sort of club or place dedicated to those of us who need something like that...  Especially, since they are senior citizen centers for older folks. 

And, since the weekend is here, I do hope you find one thing that you'd like to do and follow through on it!  :)

  

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