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depression and relationships

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Depression
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Posted 11/5/2006 4:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hi,  Im new to the forum.  Ive had "diagnosed" depression for about 2 years.  I say diagnosed because now I realize I must have had depression for a long time.  I was on medication and did great on it but it started affecting my short term memory and I decided to get off of it.  I now feel depression lurking around the corner again.  Im sure depression must have some affect on those around you and I wanted to hear how it has affected your relationships.  Ive been married twice and I think my depression was one of the reasons they didnt work out.  I find that when Im depressed I dont seem to think straight (DUH) and I dont know where to turn other than medication.  Frankly the side affects scare me more than the depression.  Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
Posted 11/5/2006 7:10 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Deese, have you considered counseling in addition to your anti-depressant meds? Check out this site: www.moodgym.com. I think it is important to address the cognitive as well as the chemical reasons for depression. It sounds cliche but people can't love you unless you love yourself so your depression can definitely have a negative affect on your relationships. I have learned so much on this site. Welcome. I like your signature quote. :)
Posted 11/5/2006 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your comments.  Ive tried going to moodgym.com with no success, can you post it as a link and then maybe it will work for me.  thanks :)
Posted 11/5/2006 3:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Deesse, Welcome to Healing Well forum, we are happy to have you join us here.  Depression is a tricky disorder for some to have.  I have been on and off medications (antidepressants) for well over 15 yrs and I also have some cognitive issues when on them...but, those issues are of less concern to me when weighed against my depression untreated.  Depression can have some very negative effects on relationships with family and friends.  Hopeful has brought up a good idea of counseling which is a useful tool to help us understand depression and can give us knowledge on how to cope with daily life.  Please feel free to continue to post here, this is a wonderfully supportive site.  Take care
Posted 11/8/2006 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
I have suffered with depression & bipolar disorder for over a decade now. Both have affected all of the relationships I have ever been in. The relationships that I have with family members have been the least concerning because everyone has always been so supportive. Friends & boyfriends have come & gone due to my illnesses. My husband has truly been the most tolerable of anyone. He is supportive & tries his very best to help me in any way I need. One thing that has helped me the most has been honesty. The more honest & open I am about my illnesses, the more that people can help.

Take Care.
Posted 11/8/2006 4:39 AM (GMT 0)
my husband suffers from depression that doesn't respond very well to treatment. It has been extremely hard on our marriage, as he tends to blame me for alot of things, and doesn't like it when circumstances are beyond his control. He has anger issues.

He is on Effexor 675 mgs,(I know, that is a HUGE dosage) under psychiatric care. One thing that is helping him a bit is reading about the different personality types. This has really opened his eyes to how he is, and he isn't liking what he sees.

He also is going to get some counceling for things from childhood that haven't been dealt with. I myself, and getting counceling to help me cope and to learn how to deal with my emotions when things are bad. I am ill myself, as my daughter is too. Stress is the worst thing for us.

I would strongly recommend counceling.
Posted 11/8/2006 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there
My depression and anxiety is affecting my current relationship. Although my b/f tries to understand,we all know that if you have not dealt with the disease it is very hard to understand.
I get in the mode where I want to just be left alone,don't want anyone to talk to me,don't want to be touched and feel unworthy of him.
I know that drives him crazy,but I can't just turn my feelings on and off.
But
For the first time in my life I actually am able to talk to someone about it..here and him. I find that if I at least try to explain to him what is going on with me,then he is better at understanding a little bit.
Communcation is a major need in relationships. Believe me I know how hard it is. But,if he loves you then he should at least try to understand.
I am trying to get over the guilt of putting him in that position by knowing that if it was him,I would be there for him.
Posted 11/8/2006 1:52 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your replies.  I saw a little bit of myself in each of your replies.  Its difficult enough to make a relationship work without adding depression into the mix!  Like ShynSassy I also have anxiety.  So many days I feel that the depression/anxiety are in full control of my every move.  Im trying to find a support group near me as it helps to know Im not alone.  As I read some of your posts I see myself and get some comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one with these rampant emotions.  Thanks again everyone.
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