How do you contribute to life?

  Yes, I contemplate lifes purpose alot. 31 is young. At 40 I still ask alot of questions. One thing that helps me the most, is helping someone else. Things seem to fall into place when I do that. Perhaps some "light" volunteer work would help you to feel good about yourself until stronger answers prevail? Good Luck and God Bless! Poopiejoe.

You could be taking the words right out of my mouth in some ways, except that some of the circumstances are a little different. I am 30 in February. I have two kids but I was 19 when I had my son. Since he was born my life has been run by the needs of my family and the natural ebss and tides of life. I have tried to go back to school but without success, mainly because of financial reasons. I want to start my own business but once again financial reasons have forced me to put that on hold. I often feel like my life is at the mercy of every one elses. And unlike you, I work in a clerical position and I hate it!!!!! With a passion!!!! It's not a natural thing for me. I am a very creative person and I find clerical work drains all my creativity. Anyways, my point is (I'm not really sure I had one, but I'll try!!!) that I have been struggling with the same question(s) as you. Is being a mom and wife all there is to the purpose of my life and should I just be happy with that? Problem is even if the answer to that question is yes, I am not happy with it. And I do do charity work. In the last two years I've raised nearly $3,500 for Breast Cancer, and I have another fundraiser planned for next year. I love fundraising work but when you don't have the time to commit to it, it's very hard. And I guess that's where my problem lies, I feel like I spend the majority of my life being the servant of others, and very little of my life looking after my own needs, and if I do, I feel guilty for it... The question is where do you draw the line between your needs and theirs? Who knows, it's different for everybody. I just know that had I been given the choice, I'd have drawn the line much further out from me and there'd have been more room for my choices and my needs along the way, but as it was, that choice was ripped from me when I was 18/19 by a careless ***hole who couldn't keep his sexual desires under control..... Sorry, did that sound angry at all to you!!!!! Even ten years later I still feel a lot of anger over that one. Unfortunately it's an angry emotion that conflicts with the fact that I love my son dearly and wouldn't give him up for anything now. So should I be thankful to "him" or continue to be angry? I'm still looking for that answer. Anyways, I got off on a tangent there.

Fundraising and charity work can definitely help. But it sounds like you've lived a good life up til this point and have few/no regrets, and that if you started a family now and committed yourself to that, you'd be able to live with it. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck!

slowlygoingcrazy

Thank you all for your input & advice. I am definitely giving the volunteering/charity work consideration. I am also contemplating taking a college course of some sorts to help maybe figure out what it is I want to do. In the past, my major was going to be Elementary Education. I am also thinking that I may try to get a part-time/temp job after the holidays (for some structure/routine, to help meet some more people & make some extra spending money). Also part-time/temp may be good in case I do become pregnant....I should be saying "when" I (we...whatever) get pregnant.

Slowlygoingcrazy-I hope that you find peace & can move past how your son was conceived. You made a totally brave decision & you need to give yourself a lot of credit for that. He is yours...1/2 of you & you gave 9 months of your life/body to give him life. We are having fertility issues right now, so please feel blessed that you were able to have children. I would definitely try to give yourself some more time for you. Even if it's a 20 minute bath or a phone call to a friend. You deserve it. If there is any way you could work out maybe just take one class or something, that may help you as well. Best of luck & let me know if/when you ever need to talk.

Scaredycat-Abilify is an antipsychotic used to treat Bi-Polar (which I suffer from in addition to Clinical Depression).

Thanks again for each & every one of your posts. I sincerely appreciate it.

Take Care.

I am 61 years old and break my life into three sections, one was pretty bad coming from a dysfunctional family, two was great with the wonderful hubby but no kids, three is now and I do a lot of volunteer work and study and am busy but feel unhappy and lost. I miss my husband very much. My physical health (pain/asthma/ibs/hypertension and maybe reflux) is not that great either and that adds to my problems.

best of luck to everybody.