New to all this, and its quite scary!!

Hi Lilly, welcome to HealingWell. You have taken a great step in your recovery.

Here is a little blurb about depression:

Depression can affect anyone. Once identified, most people diagnosed with depression are successfully treated. Unfortunately, depression is not always diagnosed, because many of the symptoms mimic physical illness, such as sleep and appetite disturbances. Recognizing depression is the first step in treating it.

Nearly two-thirds of depressed people do not get proper treatment:
The symptoms are not recognized as depression.
Depressed people are seen as weak or lazy.
Social stigma causes people to avoid needed treatment.
The symptoms are so disabling that the people affected cannot reach out for help.
Many symptoms are misdiagnosed as physical problems
Individual symptoms are treated, rather than the underlying cause.
Clinical depression is a very common psychological problem, and most people never seek proper treatment, or seek treatment but they are misdiagnosed with physical illness. This is extremely unfortunate because, with proper treatment, nearly 80% of those with depression can make significant improvement in their mood and life adjustment.

Please do some reading about depression. One of the types of depression is Dysthymic Disorder:
This refers to a low to moderate level of depression that persists for at least two years, and often longer. While the symptoms are not as severe as a major depression, they are more enduring and resistant to treatment. Some people with dysthymia develop a major depression at some time during the course of their depression.

Feel better and keep posting.

I have been on prozac about two months now. It did take it about four weeks to really kick in and start working, I needed an adjustment too. I haven't had any side effects except for when I first started it I couldn't sleep at all, that only lasted a few days. Just remember to give it time to work, if you need to talk to your doc about how you are feeling.

Its funny, i dont feel like a fake today, i feel numb, nothing, so i feel justified. thats the problem with my depression, i can feel really down then kinda normal (for me anyway) its like a rollercoaster. But mostly i feel nothing, or i try to anyway. I always have a strong guilt feeling and a dread feeling, like ive done something wrong or ive forgotten to do something. so i push it away and try not to feel it.
I have had counselling twice before the first for anger management in my teens (which is when my doc thinks the depression started and the anger was a by-product) and once for "feeling down". Though because i had no reason to feel down ie bereavement, loss, divoce bullying etc, there wasnt much i could say to the counsellor. But i have an appointment in two weeks to see my GP again so he said he'll see how im doing so maybe he'll suggest something then. Sorry this has ended up more like a blog than a forum post, but just needed to get it out.