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down day, full of pain

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Depression
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Posted 12/8/2006 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

I just feel like having a moan.  My psoriasis is getting me down today, I can't straighten three of my fingers on my left hand without it feeling like I am going to pull my nails off, I am left handed which makes it worse.  It's really painful and bleeding - driving me insane!  I get really mad with myself when I am like this, there are so many others with it worse than I have.  It's still painful, whichever way I look at it!

If anyone else has this, I would love to 'swap remedies'!!

My grandma got broken into yesterday too, trashed her house and took her money.  Why do people do this to such defensless old people??  Lucky she wasn't home at the time.  Probably not helping my attitude at the moment.

Christmas is almost here and everyone I cared deeply for has passed away this year, I feel ok'ish now but I am not sure how this is going to affect me come Christmas Day, a time for family.  I'm going to spend the day time at a homeless shelter helping out like I do every year, but I don't know what I will do to keep busy in the evening.  Any tips on gettin though it would be helpful.  This is the first time I have had to deal with the death of anyone close to me, and I have lost 5 people since May.

As awlays, thanks for 'listening'

Hugs

Wizzer

 

Posted 12/9/2006 7:48 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Wizzer, just lifted you up in prayer.  I am so very sorry that you are going through so much.  It's wonderful that you are going to volunteer at the shelter.  Can you bring a friend along?  Please don't withdraw this time of year.  Suffering a loss and as many as you have, well the holidays have a way of intensifying our emotions.  Again, I'm so sorry.  I wish I could take away the pain.  I hope that your psoriasis gets better.  Let us know how you are doing.
Posted 12/9/2006 8:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Hopedful.
Thank you. I am feelin far better in my attitude this morning, I guess some days it is just harder than others, I don't mean to moan! I do actually have quite a positive outlook in general despite the bouts of depression. My psoriasis is still really hurting, but I loaded on the steroids last night and wrapped my hand up, I will do this for a few days and I should start to see an improvement.
I don't have anyone to take to the shelter with me, although I know lots of the people there, so I promise you I won't withdraw! It is really surprising how many people say that they would 'love' to do something like this in say, June, then avoid you like the plague as Christmas approaches! Really, they should just say no, no one holds it against them. I do it because I was homeless for a couple of years in my teens, and it was a horrible experience. I was not aware of the services shelters offer back then, so i just try to spread the word a bit and then help out on the day.

Today I am feeling more positive, so I guess I can see a little clearer. I think that although Christmas will be tough, I will be busy all morning, but hopefully the expereince will be uplifting enough to get me though the evening.

Hus
Wizzer
Posted 12/9/2006 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Wizzer, just said another prayer for you. I hope that your psoriasis gets better soon. It's hard to have it on your hands where you need to move them. I'm glad that you are feeling better today. What a wonderful thing that you do on Christmas. I volunteered to serve turkey dinner to the homeless on Thanksgiving this year. It was a little sad for me because I'm sensitive but I'm glad that I did it. Stay positive.
Posted 12/10/2006 6:23 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Wizzer!

I'm sorry to hear about your illness and your loses. I applaud you for your work for the homeless.

I lost my husband last March and I had to put one of my dogs to sleep a

 month ago. I understand

your depression, as I  have what is called, situational anxiety/ depression.

I was thinking that Christmas eve that you might watch the Christmas programs on TV and

maybe make a list of positive things you'd like to accomplish next year,both long term and short

term. Maybe taking up a new hobby. I've made a list and I'm really looking forward too next year.

Have a Happy Christmas. Dee

Posted 12/10/2006 10:44 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Dee,

Loosing your husband is dreadful, I am very sorry to hear that. I hope you have a good support network around you to help you when it gets bad?

Your idea of making a list seems like it is worth a try as long as I keep it to the simple pleasures in life!  I have always been a 'listy' and I think that's where half my problem comes from -  there were sooo many things on the list that superman could not achive them in the space of one life time!  So I ripped my list up and boy did it make be feel better (it was only short lived though, I felt a little lost after a while, like I had no direction.  How sad is that!!!)

It was suggested earlier in the year that we write down everything that has been bad this year and burn it.  It was some sort of Pagan Halloween ritual, apparently the Pagan new years eve is Halloween.  But we didn't get round to it, my husband and I are going to do this on New Years eve instead (better late than never).  I am just glad that he is so supportive.

Sorry to hear about your dog too, I am a huge animal lover and have also put a number of dogs to sleep over the years, it is not a pleasant experience, but I just feel glad that we can make the choice to put them to sleep and remove thier pain.  Dogs are wonderful companions.  Will you get another one?

Hobbies is a good idea, I love archery and gold and I hven't done either in 2006, so maybe I can start my list with those.

Thanks for the input, it does help.  I think I just have to find my dertermination again.

Hugs, Wizzer

Posted 12/11/2006 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, it's me. I haven't sent you an e-mail in awhile. Life's been crazy. I've had some rough moments this month myself but I'm keeping it together, at least so far so good, for my kids. Sorry to hear about your hand. It sounds terribly painful. I think the homeless shelter idea is a wonderful one. It might even help my son understand how much better off he is.... I should discuss it with my husband and see what he thinks. Anyways, I just wanted to say hi, hang in there, and know that lots of people are thinking of you at Christmas. I still think that list idea is a great one. There is something very cathartic about physically destroying a figment of something "bad" that happened to you. It doesn't really make it go away, but it can make you feel like at least you've attempted to release it. I should try that with my mounds of guilt... I carry way too much. And I am incapable of forgiving myself. There is nothing the world can do to me, that I can't do ten times worse.... Anyways, keep your spirits up. I'm thinking about you. Merry Christmas!!!

slowlygoingcrazy (Trish)
Posted 12/14/2006 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Again!
It's Dee. I 'm very fortunate, because I still have a dog. I have the brother of the dog that I put to sleep.He is so much company for me.I'm having to keep a positive attitude these days. I've been having a lot of back pain and was sent to a pain specialist. Had an MRI, but don't have the results back yet. Meanwhile I am having pool therapy. It helps. A lot of this has to do with age. I'm 77 and the doctor said I would'nt be normal if I didn't have some degeneration of the spine. Hope your doing better. Have a Merry, Merry Chritmas. Dee
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