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Posted 12/13/2006 4:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. Its been a while since I posted. I have been doing well being off my meds for around a month and a half now. Although lately I just cant seem to be happy or calm anymore. I get nervous about things I know I shouldn't be nervous about. It's weird I feel like i have nothing to look forward to in life anymore. I have a great family and boyfriend who love and support me, but for some reason it just doesn't feel like enough. I am graduating in May and I am afraid of what my future holds. I feel like there is nothing there to make me happy in the future. I don't want to feel like this and I absolutely hate it. Why do we have to get depressed and have anxiety? Why are we the ones that are picked out? Why do other people get to be happy and worry free..I just don't understand it. I hate it so much and I feel like I am never going to come out of this. Please someone say something to make this better because I can't take it anymore. I know that I have a great life but for some reason I just can't appreciate it and I want to.

So sad

B

Posted 12/13/2006 7:47 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Butterfly

I know it's tough, the ups and downs of this horrible depression, when we're good, it feels great, but when we feel down..... man it feels like it will never end and there's no hope. Is there a reason that you have come off your meds, just a suggestion, perhaps it was too soon, or you came off them to quickly, are you seeing your doctor regularly? Can I also suggest that you see a psychologist/phsyciatrist, if you're not already. You may not require meds, but may need the support and strategies that these specialists can offer. Words seem like platitudes at this time, when you're feeling down, but there is often a good dose if truth in them.
I don't know why we are the ones affected and not others, and I understand how you hate it so much, I do too. Perhaps your boyfriend or family could go with you to the doctor to support you in getting further help and explain what you may not be able to.
I wish you well, and congratulations on graduating in May - that's a fantastic achievement.

Cheers
Deb
Posted 12/13/2006 12:46 PM (GMT 0)
   i do feel the same way BUTTERFLY, i feel like God just keep on messing my life! i want to be happy just for a change. why do i always end up sad and frustrated, it just sucks a lot! i want to be happy you know, i think we all are, but i don't think i am going to be. i hust hate my life!!!

karlo, even though you abreviated your language it is still a violation of forum rules...this is why I have edited your post.  Please watch this.  Thank You ~ Elisha

Post Edited By Moderator (els) : 12/13/2006 7:51:31 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/14/2006 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
I go through that too sometimes,
its so awful and very discouraging, though by coping with it you are in a way beating it and growing stronger within yourself.
Posted 12/15/2006 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
I have the same feelings. I am trying very hard to accept what I have and accept that it will never go away. I am praying for the strength to accept this problem, know that it's always going to be there BUT get well enough that it no longer controls me. I'm 44 and have just been hospitalized and forced to face the situation. I really wish that I had come to these crossroads sooner.
Posted 12/15/2006 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your comments. I must say I thought I was over my depression, I was doing so well for so long, that is what made me think I could stop the meds. However, I put myself back on them and I feel worse. I know that sometimes Paxil can do that in the beginning, as it did the last time I started it. I literally couldn't get out of bed for two days, I really hope that this time cant be as bad. Im only 21 years old and I'm really hoping that this doesn't stick with me for life, cause I don't think I can handle that. I was such a happy person until this year, due to realizing that I was raped when I was 19. I just really need this to go away, its the holidays, in all honesty I wanna be merry haha.

B

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