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Why are some days so bad?

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Posted 12/23/2006 9:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Hopeful,

Just wanted to let you know that I am pulling for you. Hope today was better!

Levonne
Posted 12/23/2006 11:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Hopeful,

Yes, please do email me over Christmas. I am in the UK so there may be a slight delay in responses, but I will keep checking in. I am out for most of Christmas Day but will check in in the morning and when I come back and similar on boxing day.

The rest of the time I am around as usual! Hang in there, it will get better, really it will, I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment - far from it - but it really will get better - believe it!!!! When you are down this low the only way now is up!!!!

take care

Ann
Posted 12/24/2006 9:43 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Anne,

I have been back on the Lexapro for 5 days now and that along with all of the prayers I am feeling better - less depressed, more hopeful.  Church this morning was about Mary and how God rocked her world and how perplexed she must have been. I felt like the message was just for me.  It renewed my spirit.  I'm going to my Sisters tonight.  My Mom will be there along with my Neices and Nephews. 

Have a very Merry Christmas.

Kelly

Posted 12/24/2006 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kelly,

I am soooo glad you are feeling more positive, and truly hope that this continues!!! I hope you have a really Happy Christmas in amongst your family.

I am still around if you need me anytime!!!

take care

Ann
Posted 12/25/2006 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Ann, I can't believe how much better I am feeling. My serotonin starved brain is responding to the Lexapro again. I feel a peace that I have not felt in a long time. I felt happy today at my Sisters and I enjoyed my Neices and Nephews. If I can pull out of this the rest might fall into place. I hope so.
Thank you so much for your support during this very difficult time. It means a lot ot me.
Kelly
Posted 12/25/2006 9:03 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kelly,

Merry Christmas!!! As you have not got your email addy showing I cannot email you, but I have a song I want to send you and as a fellow christian if you have not already heard it you will certainly appreciate it! Please email me?

I cannot tell you how good it makes me feel to know you are feeling so much better, but I want to send you this song anyway, and just in case for another time!!!! - call it a sort of Chrissie pressie!!!!

take care

Ann
Posted 12/25/2006 4:32 PM (GMT 0)
Kelly,

I am so glad your medicine is helping! Merry Christmas! I am sending you a big hug........

God Bless

Levonne
Posted 12/25/2006 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Levonne. I am so thankful for the lifting of the deep, dark, hopeless depression I have been feeling. I am anxious about the "reality" of my situation but I was able to take the focus off of my internal pain and onto the reason for this season.

Merry Christmas to you. I hope your day is blessed.
Kelly
Posted 12/29/2006 12:57 AM (GMT 0)
Kelly, I am so glad you are feeling better..you have been in my thoughts and prayers over the last week.  Merry x-mas and stay well (((hugs)))

Posted 12/29/2006 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Meg, I wish I could say that I was doing okay. I'm really terrified right now. I don't know where I am going to live. I'm out of money and I'm out of time. I really wish I had something good to report.

Thank you for thinking of me and for praying for me.

I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas.

Blessings to you,
Kelly
Posted 1/1/2007 10:57 PM (GMT 0)
Kelly, How are things going? any better? My unemployment runs out at end of this month and I am trying to sell my house. It isn't a very great start for 2007.....it's got to get better, right? That is one positive thing about our situations. God Bless Levonne
Posted 1/3/2007 2:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Levonne,

Thank you for your concern. The Lexapro did help to stabilize my depression. I don't have that deep dark despair now. I just hate where I am at. I can't stand to live like this - everyday is so painful. I have zero money, I can't find employment soon enough and I just feel like I'm getting by on a wing and a prayer and that it's all going to cave in on me if something doesn't happen soon.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. What kind of work do you do? I hope that your house sells soon (if that's what you really want).

God bless you,
Kelly
Posted 1/3/2007 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kelly, I am a CPA. I have decided to move back to my hometown so that my Mom can help me with my son. I am a single mom and have to make the money and be Mom and Dad. I do not feel as if I have been doing a very good job in any of these roles. I have mixed emotions about moving home. My Dad is a toxic person and to survive I have to set my boundaries. I am determine that he is not going to run over me and he is not going to drive me crazy (no pun intended). I am just like you, living on a wing and a prayer........I hate living like this. My house and other bills are based on my old salary. My unemployment will barely make the house and medical insurance payment (with my health issues I cannot let my insurance lapse.) I am staring at bankruptcy it something does not happen. I am trying to remember that.......If the Lord brings you to it, He will take you through it. It is just so hard. Sending you a hug! Levonne
Posted 1/3/2007 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Levonne,

I am sorry that you are facing all of this.  I'm in the same boat but a bit different.  My biggest fear (believe it or not) is losing my doggie (my child).  I pet him all day long, he loves it, of course and it is therapuetic to me. 

I want you to know that I think you have a great attitude considering all that you have been through.  I'm glad that you are able to move back home.  Perhaps, the Lord wants to do something in your relationship with your parents.  Have you heard of the authors "Henry Cloud" and "John Townsend?"  The write a lot of books on "Boundaries."  If you haven't read "Boundaries" go get it today. 

You are in my prayers.

Kelly

Posted 1/3/2007 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you soooo much Kelly. I am sending you many, many hugs. We are going to get through all this and be much stronger people. Is it ok with you if I send you a note here each day? btw......Doggies are family members too and a source of great comfort.......and they don't talk back......lol :) You are in my thoughts and prayers also. Hang tough girlfriend! Levonne
Posted 1/3/2007 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
hi, i am going through the exact same thing
Posted 1/3/2007 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Levonne & Jeannie, it is very hard walking through the fire but I like being encouraged and will encourage you as well, so a note is wonderful.  The important thing to do is take one day at a time.  I don't know how to turn off my mind.  I talk to people and then I get "information overload."  Most people are go-getters and don't understand depression and physical limitations.  Often, I just feel "worse" after I get the laundry list of suggestions.   However, advice is helpful.  I just wish somebody would take over my body until this nightmare is over.

Today my Mom came over with a printer b/c mine is broken and I need it for the job search.  She didn't bring the disc being a technophobe it took all morning.  Then, I spent a long time with my health insurance trying to find a new psychiatrist and also trying to resolve some billing issues.  Ughh.  The provider did not bill correctly so the easiest thing to do is just send me the bill.  Then, I have to do the research instead of them!  Their is no such thing as customer service these days.

Can you tell I'm worn out and irritated with the world?  Sorry but thanks for letting me vent.

God bless.

Kelly

Posted 1/3/2007 9:16 PM (GMT 0)
Kelly and Jeenie, Did you have any luck with the job search today? I got a couple of leads today but I do not want to get my hopes up. Venting is good! Especially to people who really understand about the situation. It is very easy for someone who does not have depression to say.......just get busy or just this or that. If we we had a choice, we sure would not choose to have depression and other health issues. My prayers are with you. Levonne
Posted 1/3/2007 10:44 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Kelly, Jeenie and Levonne, I'm sorry that life is being so harsh to you all at the moment.  I understand that feeling Kelly of wishing someone else could be in your body until things get better.  I'm not having the best year, my boss is being very cruel and vindictive because the business is not making enough money and I'm getting a lot of the blame. Even I know I should be very grateful that I have a job it still makes me cry every morning when I wake up and realise I have to go back.  I feel like my anxiety and depression is getting worse with those thoughts of "how will I cope with this for another year"...

Sorry I'm venting instead of helping....just in a black space today.  I have no psych and can't afford one so I have no-one who understands.  That said I hope you are all doing better in job search/house selling business.  I got a new Kitty for x-mas and he is my little life-line right now.  He is much more understanding than my family.  Let's hope things look up for all of us soon.

Posted 1/3/2007 10:49 PM (GMT 0)
I feel your pain Meg..........and I am sending you a hug!
Posted 1/3/2007 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
Thankyou and big hugs right back at you Levonne.  I'm smiling a little bit right now :-)
Posted 1/4/2007 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
Levonne, thanks for the cyber hug.  Right back at ya.

Meg, I'm so very sorry you are going through this.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Your kitty is going to help a lot.  I find that it is very calming and therapeutic to pet my dog. 


I had such a stressful day today and by the end of it, I was broken.  I hurt all over..head, neck, shoulders, back.  Feel like I've been hit by a mac truck.  I can't calm the mind down.  I still have crying spells and I worry sick that I am not going to be able to work and function like normal human beings.  Mom talked to me about the possibitlity of goingt to the hospital.  I have long history of migraine and depression.  I can get SSI but I want to be normal and live a normal life.  I am trying so hard but wonder sometimes what God is trying to tell me.

I hope you feel better soon.  Stay in touch. 

Love ya,

Kelly

Posted 1/4/2007 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kelly and Meg, Hope you are having a good day! :) Love, Levonne
Posted 1/4/2007 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Levonne, thanks for asking! I'm unfortunatley having a bad day.  I cried all the way into work and my boss has already called me twice today to reprimand me for silly trivial things.  I'm so jumpy I'm practically hitting the roof everytime the phone rings.  I hope your day is going better than mine :-) ((hug))
Posted 1/4/2007 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Meg........I am sorry about your job.......that kind of situation makes me crazy (no pun intended) I am stressing. I had a company call me today from fl. Interviewed me over the phone for an hour; then they asked me to take a pre-employment assessment. (I am a CPA and I always am looking for a "right" answer) The personality side drove me nuts..........ie..."does working with others energize you?" Heck, sometimes yes and sometimes no. I probably screwed up big time. They they will be able to tell is you are not being honest.....if you're trying to tell them them answers they may want to hear... aka lying. Then I was so paranoid that they might think I was not being honest. Argh. Argh. sorry for all the venting. I hope tomorrow is much better for you!
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