Can't move on after divorce

 I am the last one to gie advice.But just wanted you to know I am going thru much of pain you went thru,Mine is also a 13 year marriage.We are here for you and I know you will gets lots of good advice...

Hi Penny,  Welcome to Healing Well.  I wonder if you have ever heard of Divorce Care Classes?  There are many churches that offer these classes to help people who have gone through a divorce.  Perhaps you may also want to look into some counseling.  It is very important for us as females to be able to find our own self worth and be able to stand on our own, not be afraid to be alone when we come out of a divorce.  This is not an easy thing to do I know as I got divorced almost 3 years ago and it has been difficult for me to move on also.  But I know that I dont need to be in a relationship to complete me or make me happy.  It took alot of counseling for me to get to that point.  Please do look into that.  Take care

Hi PennyG,

I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. It can be such a painful thing when the person you love no longer wants to be with you.

I know it feels like it but I hope you will re-think the idea that you NEED to be married. I feel it might be better to think that you would 'prefer' to be married.

It seems to me that depending on another person for your personal happiness is a risky business, y'know?

Perhaps if you don't feel like socializing yet you could start with taking care of yourself. Maybe you could focus on pampering yourself a little at first ... take long hot baths, drink cups of tea ... try green tea so good for you and full of anti-oxidants.

Maybe you could start doing a little light exercise ... just a little stretching in the morning, a little 5 minute walk whenver it's warm enough. I know it seems simple and obvious but it sounds as though you need to get back to basics. Watch movies that make you happy or entertaining television shows that make you laugh.

Believe me you are not too old and you have the power to create a lovely life!

Keep posting ... this is such a great place for support and the kindess of strangers has helped me so much since I joined myself. Sometimes it's just nice to know you always have a place to vent!

Hang in there :) Post often

Hi Pegasusdream43,

This is kind of an old thread, but I am so glad that you have joined us. Moving on after a divorce is hard. And I am sorry about the outcome of things. Know this isn't unusual, it happens.

Try not to feel anger towards her. It wont do you a bit of good. It will just put you in more of a funk. You have to get on with your life. Create one so to speak. Get involved in things to take your mind off of the situation. It isn't yours anymore, you make your own.

Do you see a counselor. I aslk that a lot. I have found a good counselor can really help. I think you would benefit from that. It gives you some direction and ways to cope with different situations.

I am sorry that I didn't get to your post earlier, a little under the weather. Do keep posting. If you would like, start your own thread, as I say, this is an old one.

Keep your chin up. I know, old saying. But be proud of who you are. You are a good person.

Hugs, Karen