It`s hard to know just where to begin .Well i will give it a go i`ve been married 25yrs and have five children ,Things seem to be going along fine until about four years ago when i started what i thought were bed dreams.These dreams were not dreams but in actual flash backs to both sexual and physical abuse that i suffered as a child.Iwas aware something was a miss when i couldn`t remember any of my childhood .I was aware of some of the abuse and had mentioned lightly to hubby before we married,nothing more thought or asked about it. But now these flashbacks have been so horrific that it has effected me ,hubby and our relationship.Ihave recieved councilling but hubby refused ,thats ok i dealt with it and was prepared to move on.As it turns out hubby can`t move on ,he won`t attend councilling and won`t talk to me about it .Ijust don`t know what to do .My marriage is the most important thing in the world to me along with hubby then the kids .Without it i have nothing .Iam severly depressed and on medication i see a psychologist once every 6weeks thats allk that is available to me .I haven`t spoken to anyone where i live for fourteen years as i was then betrayed by a so called friend.Not even my family know whats been happening in my life i keep it all to myself.I`m at a stage i just don`t want to go on i`m so frightened of being on my own.Icarry a lot of anger towards my parents for not protecting me as a child ,for the physical abuse i suffered at their drunken hands ,for the sexual abuse i suffered by my brother ,uncle,and so called family friends .Then to top it off to find out my mother has cancer and this will be her last year,finding out i have skin cancer and need surgery,having a child that hasn`t spoken to us in three years ,having a child that you don`t care for ( the guilt,failure and being ashamed that i have failed her as a parent )These are just a few of the issues i`m going throgh at the moment and when i contemplated ending it all only to be yelled at by the dr was the last straw .What do i do ? Where do i go ?