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Posted 2/24/2007 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
My hubby really scared me the other morning at one o`clock in the morning he throws the covers off us and jumps out of bed and turns on the light saying it`s Michaels fault that he took the wrong tablets for his flu .He took the day time ones instead of the night ones which help him to sleep .I have no idea what bought this on .Apart from the fact Michael left home three years ago and hasn`t spoken to us ever since .Even at christmas i didn`t forget him i sent him a card with some money and a short note but we heard nothing from them so i just left it at that and kept occupied as best i could thinking that he is old enough now to choose what he wants out of life and that being his mother will be here when ever he is ready to come home (for two years it ripped my insides apart even the mention of his name bought tears to my eyes) but after hearing my mother has terminal cancer thought that life is too short for this so i just acked off i have more important things to worry about at the moment than him .But obviously hubby is still trying to deal with it it has hurt him so much and he is still going through what i was going through .hubby wont eccept help from a dr or psychologist it`s just not done in his books .but his behaviour is beginning to really frighten me now as if we don`t have enough to deal with for the present.
Posted 2/24/2007 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
Oh restless
I am so sorry you are going thru this.
I have found that no one can tear your heart apart faster and more severe than your child.
It does sound like your husband is having a hard time dealing with it.
What if you wrote your son a letter (if you know where he is) and telling him just what happened?
Kids UGH,they are hard on the hearts that is for sure.
I hope you get thru it!

Shy
Posted 2/24/2007 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you shy we have sent him leyyers text and tried to ring but the partener he is with is a very manipulative preson and he is and always has been shy so i feel for him also thats why i sort of backed of and gave them space .the partener is so controlling i think he is too frightened to make contact .They live in the same town as what we do and yet and yet in the past three years i have only seen him at a glance both times before she rushes off. When he was born premmie my hubby wouldn`t even look at him or even touch him .Months later i findout he didn`t want to get to know him because he was so sick and he thought that he was going to die. this man of mine has shown his true colours over the years and i`m sure he would find some peace if he could talk to someone but he is so stubborn . It really worries me the way he has been acting i have so much of my own problems to deal with but would drop them to helphim in a flash if i only knew how.
restless....
Posted 2/25/2007 11:50 AM (GMT 0)

Hi restless1, we went through some similiar thing within our family recently.  My mother and I didnt see or speak to my younger brother for 3 years.  It was his choice as he was angry that my mom had gotten remarried and upset with me for supporting her in that decision.  Everyone in our family is so very stubborn and wont give an inch to reach out to the other or admit they where wrong and that is where the problems lay mostly.  It wasnt until last October when I had heard from my crazy aunt who lives several hundred miles away that my brother and his girlfriend who had just given birth to twins had serious problems with one of the girls and she (the baby) may not make it.  So I called him and since we have been able to repair and work on the damage that was done to our relationship as has my mom and him.

Family dynamics are always so very complicated and they do run much thicker then any relationship or friendship.  I know if I had sent my brother a letter during that seperated time he would of ignored it.  In my opinion you need to try to put some of your personal matters aside and assist your husband...this is your family.  You need to speak to him about or if any of his behaviors have contributed to his seperation...with being distant maybe?...I dont know. Then perhaps you need to go make a visit face to face with your child, in my opinion.  If that doesnt work then let them be, you would of gotten the chance to voice your feelings and then the ball is in their court and up to them to make the decision.  Hopefully it would be the right one.  I truly hope you and your husband can fix these problems together.

Posted 3/2/2007 10:28 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry i haven`t been in for a while but bening so run down i came down with the flu and am only now just beginging to pick up again .Hubby and myself went away for a couple of days but i just feel i`m loosing the connection we had it`s just not the same or am i just expecting things to remain the same am i wrong in doing this i`m not sure .But i sat in the car with him for about three hours and he hardly said a word to me .

Just before we left i ran into My sons partener and had the oppertunity to speak to her but whether it will get back to michael i have no idea she said he won`t have anything to do with us .

Why does life seem so darn hard all the time that nothing ever seems to go to plan as we hoped .

Now to make matters worse i have to wait another month to see them at the cancer clinic as they had a few problems and mine and 200 othe appointments had to be postponed it`s just one thing afer another .

Restless

Posted 3/3/2007 12:57 PM (GMT 0)
Restless
I really hope your son wakes up and contacts you. Kids can tear your heart apart I know!
It does seem that when one thing goes wrong then everything follows. But,at least when you get all of those problems solved you will hopefully be able to relax for awhile.

Good luck

Shy
Posted 3/3/2007 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
Shy,
If only that were the case but my life doesn`t seem to run that way there is always something in my path to test me . The next is that next month i have to face surgery for cancer on my face something that is really terrifying me at the moment as it was due to be done this month but the dr had problems and had to cancel but in the few weeks since i saw him it has spread so much and seeing i need to have skin grafts to repair where it is i`m worried as to the extent it will now be .I`m also watching my mother die from cancer so you see there is always something going on . Life surely stinks at the moment.
Restless
Posted 3/4/2007 4:59 AM (GMT 0)
Hugs restless! I hope things get better for you real soon. You are always in my thoughts and prayers my friend. I will talk to you real soon I hope.
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