ok i know i`m a pain in the butt but i need some information

shy i can`t talk anymore about whats happened to me i don`t know it it`s bought it all to a head but i have been suffering some horrific nightmare and now am just so exhausted from it all i need to give it a break as with my meds as i know they are not helping me so will just wait and see how i go thanks for your help and encouragement and from everyone in here .
Restless

shy i finall arrived up here after an 8hr drive i have an appointment with the surgeon this morning .My father is being operated on for cancer at 12 then i have another appointment with the cancer clinic late in the afternoon it`s going to be a stressful day and will be glad when it`s all over.
Restless

I`m just so dissappointed in the whole medical system .You see your dr and trust that he knows best you take the treatments they prescribe and if they don`t work then you go back .Well i have done this now for two years and after seeing the plastic surgeon the other day was so shocked .I was originally told the surgery i needed would be just a day stay .Now the surgeon tells me because it is so extensive and requires not only skin grafts but also a cartliage graft and i have to travel over 900 km to a mayor city and stay in hospital for six days minium .Then to make matters worse at the cancer clinic that afternoon the dr thre finds another cancer.
The plastic surgeon asked me why i let it get so bad but i told him i had been under treatment for the past two years he was shocked to hear and a complaint will be put in against the dr .I definately won`t be going back to see him .
I have stopped taking my meds for the past six days and at the moment i`m doing ok .No more night mares and i have actually been sleeping a bit better.My kids get to me a bit more but as i`m doing now i just come to my room and have some time to myself and just look forward to school on Monday .But will just see how i go for a while as i don`t want to go into hospital being on so many pills .
Restless.

Shy today even yesterday haven`t been the best of days for me my kids are driving me nuts and then to add to it hubby stuck his head in last night and said his two bits which isn`t what i need atm .I have spent the day avoiding my family i just want to be away from then everything they do and say is really getting to me .I just feel as though i`m being used again and no matter what i do it`s just not good enough .Last night i took a few pills to escape the last thing i remember was hubby sitting on the end of the bed having his go i don`t remember if i even replied to him or not and actually i don`t care .I woke up feeling really down and alone and thats how the day is going to end .I just want out of here.
Restless

Restless
Victoria is right,you have got to think about your kids and taking pills is not the answer if they are not what the doctor ordered.
What would have happened if one of your kids got hurt and you were out of it?
Plus,what would have happened if you took something that you were allergic too and got really sick?

I don't want to sound harsh here but here is something else you have got to think about. If you would have gotten sick taken pills that you shouldn't have and ended up at the hospital. They could have very easily said that they thought your kids were in danger and taken them away until you proved you were ok.

I guess I am trying to scare you straight here Restless.. healing takes awhile and it takes work. It is not something that happens overnight.
Please be careful

Shy

Restless
My son is 16 and is bipolar. So,I know what you are going through as far as the horrible things they can say.
Does your husband step in when they start that crap?
Don't believe what they say...for some reason they are lashing out at you,that is what kids do sometimes. I am not saying it is right,but just remember they are still kids and kids act like complete brats sometimes.

Please stay strong

Shy

GRRR Restless at your hubby!!
My ex would not help me in the least when my son would go into one of his bad states. There was a time that he actually had me on the ground and was choking me, my daughter called her dad who told her "too bad,your mom is the one that wanted this divorce (even thought the POS decided that I was his personal punching bag) and that if she can not handle her own son then that is her problem.
My daughter finally called the police,who stepped in.
Anyway,if your daughter is not taking her meds,she is just making things worse for you and herself. That is not fair at all.

Here is something that I did and it actually worked a few times...when my son would go off,or someone was being nasty to me,I would just simply get up,not say a word to anyone,grab my car keys and leave. Not answering my cell phone and stay gone for about an hour.
Then I would come home and would find that they would be freaking out wondering where I went and I would tell them the reason I left,and that I was NOT going to be talked to like that.
Remember dear ,you are the mom,and those kids have NO right to talk to you like that at all.
As far as your hubby,he needs to step up to the plate and be the dad and not let this happen under his roof.

Sorry if I sound angry at this point..it is just bringing back the bad memories of what I had to go through and it makes me very angry when any mom is going through it.


Shy

Restless, its Sassy. So sorry to hear about the cancer & Drs and all the troubles at home. I have been in my own world for the last 2 wks, quitting a job and starting another. I do not know the authors name of the book. I had lent it to a friend and she ended up burning it. Said it was her way of dealing.

I too have an 18 yr old who has put us through the ringer lately. He can really hurt. But I really had to change my way of thinking & reacting to his outbursts. I just quietly talk to him now and ask questions about his life, drugs etc. Yelling does not work. He knows now he will not use our car until he cleans up his act. The person he now works for is going to Collage and is already a good influence on him. So perhaps things will change and he will reach his potential.

I do like the idea Shy had about just leaving the situation for a while. That too has worked for all of us. Please just hang in there and come to us when you need to vent. I am praying for you. Sassy

Shy i have seen the surgeon and now have to go into hospital on the 17th they will operate on the 18th and i`m to stay in hospital for a week .I have to travel 9.5 hrs to get to the hospital it was a bit of a shock as i was originally told it would be done as a day stay patient but the surgeon said it`s too big and needs a cartliage graft and a skin graft and he wants me there to keep an eye on it as it`s risky .This is going to be a very stressful time as for the past two weeks i have been off all meds and will not even consider having anymore until after the surgery if then .I feel ok and am coping to a certain extent .I have days where i`m in tears all the time but then the next am ok .So just taking each day as it comes at the moment .
Restless

Just a quick note i have been off my meds for a while now and even though i feel a bit better i still have a lot of problems just dealing with the every day to day things .I become so frustrated and very stressed at the smallest thing but i`m almost there i go into hospital on Tuesday and they are now going to operate that morning my stress levels are at an all time high but i think a lot has to do with the trip to hospital and being there on my own. Ihope things will settle down after it`s all over .Im worried about the surgery but also the fact that my kids will be home alone i know at their ages they should be able to look after them selves but the piont is they are country kids and think they are invinsible the 15yr old does so many stupid things he is a constant worry .Well i had better head off have a few more things to organise .Catch you all when thing settle down a bit .
Restless