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When you are just tired of it all...

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Posted 3/21/2007 10:40 PM (GMT 0)
I don;t know if I am depressed... My depression has been caused by my life situation that just never changes. The same problems linger forever and have been lingering for years...I am in a tangled web that gets more and more complicated... People will look at me and say I have it all...I am 28, attractive, very well educated, have a successful husband, have a great job... We have anice house, nice cars, financial stability... But I am dying inside every day... If someone came to me with the option to choose between life and death, I would choose death... I am so tired of my life... I have zero motivation about the future... I dont even see it.

But my depression has been caused by a situation... a situation that has resulted in PTSD, fear etc...Over that, recently i was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis..And you know what?? I didnt care!!! In fact, I wasnt surprised. It was only a matter of time before my physical state caught up with my mental state of so many years...I am doing something very bad. I skip my MS meds pretty pften cause I dont care... Would rather have something just wipe me out.

I am seeing a therapist. It helps but regardless of it all, I will STIL be trapped in this situation and i dont know how long I can go on. Cant keep complaining to hubby. He is a nice enough guy but I think he is fed up of my misery all the time.. Understandable. I need to ask my doc for anti-depressants I think...

I am just so sad...

Posted 3/21/2007 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
Who cares what the cause of your depression is? Please, take that comment in the context of the following. It doesn't make it any more or less real. Seek treatment, be it counseling, drugs, or both.

I know when you are so depressed that it's hard to feel like it's worth treating, but you can have your life back. Treat the symptoms, treat the cause, better yet, treat both, but do something! You deserve more out of life than you are getting. Depression is common and serious and you need to deal with it like millions of others. I feel that the social stigma is obsolete.

As for being depressed with a good life, don't feel unworthy or that you are ungrateful - it's a chemical imbalance in your brain, hence a physical issue. Get yourself well. It's possible.

Best wishes for you - Stephanie
Posted 3/22/2007 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hey confused, your post really hit me as it kind of sounded like something I would of wrote back in September of 2001.  I grew up with PTSD due to sexual abuse as a child but I never really thought these were an issue for me.  I went to college got a degree in psychology and had a great job.  I got married at 25 to a guy I had dated since I was 19, he also had a good job working with computers.  We had a nice house we bought right before we married and nice cars...very pretty picture, I guess.

Two years after we were married I got sick very suddenly and was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  It was very difficult to take in and changed our relationship a great deal.  The biggest thing though was it changed me...like you, I suddenly had all these drugs I had to take and I started skipping them and not taking them when I should.  I didnt care if I lived or died because I had this terrible diease that was going to put me in a wheelchair and be crippled (I thought).  Maybe a part of me thought that I deserved to be sick...I dont know.  But I lived lived like that for 3 years and was very depressed and it stressed my marriage and me.

Please do call your doctor and see about an appointment.  Counseling is good when your diagnosed with something like this as it is life altering and we need help dealing with the emotional changes that we have to face.  Often neurologists prescribe antidepressants to their patients who have MS as the two go hand in hand.  So dont be afraid to try one or inquire about it...they do help.  Also, I dont know if you have been on our MS forum here but the members over there are just wonderful and have lots of insight and support.  Actually, the MS forum is what first drew me to healing well and then I migrated over here.

Please do feel free to post here as often as you like, we are always here for you.

Posted 3/25/2007 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,
I aggree with all that has been said. I have been there and done that about four years ago. Even my depression is not as bad as it was it is still a battle someitmes. You are so yung comparted to some us here. Please get help whatever kind it needs to be. My prayers are with you and it gook a lot of nerve to post your feelings here. Let us know how it is going.
KodakPuppy
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