Thanks Els -
You always say exactly the right thing to help me feel better about myself. It's seems that a door is opening that sheds light on an entirely new world, but I still get caught up in the same negative thinking that's been ground into me. When I try to express myself now, I just want to yell and scream instead of taking a deep breath and acknowledging the other person's perspective and then explaining my perspective as well as providing that person or persons with a justification of why I feel the way I do. What I've tended to do in the past is just not say anything so I won't offend that person, but I just walk away feeling even more upset, since not only have I backed down, but I haven't even bothered to respond, which reinforces that inner voice that says "You're not worthy to take up space on this planet."
During one of my very early visits to my therapist, she suugested I get a workbook called "Mind Over Matter". At the time, I skimmed through the first chapter and realized that not only did I have depression, but anxiety as well. (At the time, I was more comfortable about thinking of myself as "depressed", but when I realized that I also had anxiety it through me for a loop!)
But, I think I may be ready to start working on those other inner demons...
I'll keep ya'll posted, I just may end up picking that book up again.