HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

I am feeling sooooo down in the dumps

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 3/26/2007 3:27 PM (GMT 0)

Hi everyone,

I am new here and I thought I would try this site and see if I can get some help.  I am feeling really depressed.  I have never been to a doctor about this and actually have one set up on this Thursday.  I have never felt this way before and I have no idea what to do.

I am a 25 year old female.  I have 2 boys, 6 year old and a 1 1/2 year old.  I am married, but recently I have been having troubles with my marriage.  My husband is great though, it is all me that is causing the problems.  For about the past 5 months or so, I feel like I have been pushing my husband away.  He is really caring and tells me all the time that I look great and that he loves me etc......but I just feel like I have no love for him anymore.  I feel hate towards him.  I never want to be close to him.  If he hugs me or kisses me, I pull away.  I am wondering if this is a cause of depression or what is going on?  I am a stay at home mom, I also babysit during the days, I am a medical transcriptionist from home and I also go in to work at a local clinic during the nights.  I am extremely busy, but I like to stay busy. 

I feel like I am also slowly distancing myself from my friends as well.  When they call, I don't answer sometimes or if they call when I am not home, I usually do not return their phone calls.  I have been feeling like I do not want to be married anymore and that I just want to be alone.  (don't get me wrong, I still want to have my boys around, I love them to death). 

I have no ambition to do anything anymore.  I just feel BLAH, if that makes sense.  I am seeking medical help, I just wanted to hear others opinions as well. 

Do you think I could be feeling this way because of depression?  Could depression be the cause of me feeling that way towards my husband. 

If anyone could give me any advice it would be great.

Thanks,

Posted 3/26/2007 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
You sound just like me. I have been diagnosed with depression and I seem to have a lot in common with you. I fee no love for my long-term boyfriend, I sometimes feel some sort of hate towards him but its not normal hatred! I know deep down I love him to bits but I can't feel it. Like your husband mines is great too, always complimenting me trying to cuddle me and be nice but I have little or nothing to return. I hate feeling like this. I do not know what caused it, I questioned and still question myself everyday on this feeling, and many people have told me they feel/ have felt the same due to the dreaded D!! I wish you all the luck in the world as I quite understand what you are going through. I am the same with my friends too, I can't be bothered with them half the time and when they talk I just pretend to listen. I'm not intrested in anything anymore and nothing gives me the enjoyment and happiness it used too, Good Luck x
Posted 3/26/2007 3:42 PM (GMT 0)

Thanks for replying so fast.  I really appreciate it. 

I also find myself having trouble concentrating on a lot of things.  I just feel distant with everything. 

Well, I hope that my doctor can help me out.  I feel that if I do not get this fixed soon that my husband will leave.  I wouldn't blame him either because of the way I have been.  He has asked me a couple of times what is wrong, and all I can say is "I don't know", because I really don't know.  It is strange.  I feel like it is not fair for him to be in a relationship like this.  It is totally not his fault that I feel this way.  My husband has mentioned once that maybe we should divorce if I do not love him.  What am I suppose to say to that.  Deep down, I do not want a divorce, but I don't know if I will ever feel the same love I did for him when we were first married. 

What are you doing for your situation? 

Posted 3/26/2007 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
i am currentl seeing a doctor and a councillor, I don't kow if its helping or not. I understand what you mean aboutconcentrating etc and baout how you just don't know whats wrong! I don't know about you but I seem to focus my whole depression around my relationship becuase it is the main thing in my life and its being affected majorly because of the depression. I feel the same aout my boyfriend, sometimes I feel like giving up and sayingright just go as it would be easier for me but I also know deep down that is not what I want I want to be happy again but like you I am in two minds whether that will happen!

Good Luck!
Posted 3/26/2007 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for replying to my post.  I really appreciate it. 

I need all of the advice I can get.  I just want to rid this feeling and go back to being happy. 

Thanks again,

Posted 3/26/2007 7:50 PM (GMT 0)
its no problem, Yea I feel the exact same as you, Your doc should be able to help lots, please let me know how you get on!
Posted 3/27/2007 12:11 PM (GMT 0)
Alicia
Everyone has given you great advice here..
Just keep in mind that people with depression seem to push the ones they love away. I don't know why we do this,I guess it is our way of punishing ourselves for being depressed. Stupid as it sounds it still happens.
Another thing is maybe you should see if your husband will go to the doctor with you. That will be your chance to let him hear what is going on,and his chance to ask your doctor questions.
You need a strong support person and who best to lean on that him?

Good luck and keep us posted

Shy
Posted 6/16/2007 4:44 AM (GMT 0)

Alicia....I am in a similar situation.  I was just thinking how I don't want to be with my husband any more.  I love him, but it is more like a friend than a lover/ husband.  A good friend told me that I deserve to be happy and suggested that I talk with a doctor about antidepressants.  That was about 5 years ago and I still feel the same. 

I can only share my thoughts and just hope that you get a sense that you are not alone.  I tend to handle the issues that we face in our marriage better when I am taking my medication (Lexapro).  I tend not to cry uncontrollably and feel pity for myself.  But, I was just telling him the other day, that the issues are still there.  They haven't gone away.  The only thing that is better is how I can deal with it.  I have been married for 11yrs and have a 10 yr old.  I am once again thinking that I want to get out of this marriage.  For many reasons...he deserves to have someone that want to be with him, my kid deserves to have a parent that is confident and doesn't have to stay with a man that makes her cry and feel alone and I deserve to have a life that is not shadowed by sadness, bitterness and resentment.  Strong words, I know...but true. 

It is a tough decision, but your are taking a great first step.  We also did have counseling, which I do recommend.  Be honest with your feelings to your doctors.  They are there to help and many of them talk to women like you and me several times a day. 

Be strong....think positive!

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply