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Posted 4/11/2007 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
im so fed up with this depression!1 day i can be as happy as can be then the next im not myself feel like crying all the time and the tinyest things my fiance says upsets me when it shouldnt as its pathetic stuff. im on meds. but im just fed up with it now at first i thought i could cope as i have alot of support from friends and family but now its really getting to me and im so unhappy. ive been to the doctors and he's upped my medication. but it hasnt made a difference yet but i should in the next couple of days. im so fed up. i feel like screaming so loud and crying my heart out,. im only 18 ive hardly lived my life how can i be depressed. ive been diagnosed for nearly 6 months now but its lasting forever!!!!! please help until i do something stupid!!! natalie xxxx 
Posted 4/11/2007 8:25 PM (GMT 0)
Hey confused/angry,

even kids can be depressed. And it is not true that the crying is not you. Thats the problem, the depression is you, one part of you which isn't nice, isn't pleasant, but you. As long you don't accept it, it can't go away. Its like a little puppydog, he always bites into your heels to draw attention. If you don't give the attention he wount stop. Give your meds a shot and hold on, kay?

Cheers
Depri
Posted 4/11/2007 8:28 PM (GMT 0)
Confused/angry,

I'm 16 and I feel exactly like you do. One day I'm on top of the world thinking that I'm beat depression, and then the next day it hits me so hard that I'm incapable of doing anything. As for the meds, my doctor said it take atleast a month until they really kick in. Maybe your dose still has to be upped. Just be patient. I just got on meds aboout a week ago, and I'm already wishing there was some miricle pill that makes everything better overnight. Patience. I found just going outside and having a breather is a great way to try to beat down depresssion (given the weather is nice!)

Stay strong, don't ever give up

froggy
Posted 4/11/2007 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
eyes  Hello~

I briefly read your post as my attention does not allow me to remember alot of what I read but I will tell you that I turned 42 today and for me, my depression has never left me.  I have undergone hospitalizations, tons of meds, electric shock therapy and now vns.  To this day, I have never been completely depression free and find days when i wonder if I live hell on Earth.  I have lost jobs that I have loved, my children to their fathers and most recently lost the most wonderful person a woman could have, my fiance'.  Unlike you, I no longer have that person that understood my every mood and the person I could go to for comfort.  I am sitting here crying right now because of the loneliness and heartache of knowing that my depression has played a major part in all that I have lost.

I am sorry if I offer no or little advice but I will not sugar-coat what depression has done and continues to do to me!!!!!

Im not sure of your age so the best advice that I could give you is when this darn demon called depression starts showing itself, PLEASE LOOK AROUND YOU AND ESPECIALLY AT THOSE YOU HOLD DEAR and remember, life as you know it on that day could be ten times worse without all you have today.  It will be hard, but please, take it from someone that sits alone here by herself on her birthday remembering the days of flowers and phonecalls, dinner and the look in his eyes when he kissed me happy birthday, that this girl wishes she at least at all that back today.

Keep your head up and never stop asking for help!

Teresa :-)

Posted 4/11/2007 8:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hugs Teresa, depression has really delt you an awful hand in life. Happy Birthday, for when it comes around, or Happy belated birthday more like. I really don't have much else to say, because cming from someone who doesn't have much more than 16 years of life, you clearly prevail in wisdom. It's the way of life, but we always learn from the wise. Keep posting, I'm sure your advice can help a lot of people here.

froggy
Posted 4/12/2007 6:54 AM (GMT 0)
teresa, im so sorry to hear about your children and fiance did you lose them because of your depression? this is what im scared off im pushing everyone who loves me away? but i just cant help it. im just so fed up all the time i just want to get on with my life but it feels i have this thing holding me back and my goals and there is no way i can get to it. if you do ever want to talk about it i know what your going through as my mum has experienced the same thing as she suffers from this demon as well. im always here for you to talk to. we must stick together on this site and help each other out like a group. thats what these forums are for. to make friends and to let your feelings out to people who know exaclty the your going through. please keep me posted. and happy birthday! lots of luv natalie xxxx
Posted 4/12/2007 6:57 AM (GMT 0)
depri, thank you so much for your reply. i know kids can get depressed as well but i all i get everyday from work colleges etc is "what have you got to be depressed about your only 18 you've hardly lived your life yet!!!" im so fed up with it. i will wait for my medication to start working but the doctor has only upped it for two weeks then im going back down to one a day will i see a reaction in two weeks cuz i thought it took a month or so or is it because he is only upping it im not actually starting them for the first time. im glad i have found this site it is so much help. thank you. keep me posted. lots of luv natalie xxxx
Posted 4/12/2007 7:02 AM (GMT 0)
hello froggy, it is so nice to speak to some one around my age as im always looking for young people who suffer with this demon. i dont know any one my age who does. the thing is it looks to me as though adults just get on with thier lifes. but i cant do that. its like im drowning, i have a huge rock attached to me feet and im going down and my head is only just above the water. but everyday i go further down. im so scared. but theres nothing i can do about it. ive only had 18 years of life but alot has happened in those 18 yrs. i will take your advise about going out in the fresh air it does help alot. also ive learnt that exercise releases a chemical in your brain that we lack hence why we r depressed. i havent done much exercise yet but this is what the doctor told me to do. as apprently it can give us a high. (yeah right,  gotta get my fat arse off the sofa first) he he he, please keep me posted. lots of luv natalie xxxx
Posted 4/12/2007 8:57 AM (GMT 0)
Depression does go away, it won't last forever but the road to recovery can take some time and that road doesnt always go in a straight line. It has taken me a while to get back on my feet but I am definatley getting there and am so much better than I used to be. The increased dose of your medication should start to work for you soon. Are you having any therapy or counselling? I found exercise and yoga really helpful, especially when I was at my worst. Also, I found that being creative helped too. When I was in hospital with my depression, we were encouraged to paint, draw and model clay. It actually was very therapeutic. Keep in touch and keep posting. Take care
Posted 4/12/2007 12:01 PM (GMT 0)
Confused
I to this day have crying spells. Sometimes they are set off for the silliest reason,and then I will cry for hours.
I have also actually went outside and screamed until my stomach hurt.
Depression is a very hard thing to get through. It stays with you for so long and I wish that we could just take a pill or have our brains zapped and it would go away. But until that day comes we have to be strong and find ways to help each other get through it.
I am not convinced that it ever goes away quite frankly. I think that it might be covered up by our determination to get better. But it always lurks in the back of our minds waiting for some type of trigger.
I am a firm believer that people with depression are probably the strongest people there are. I mean think about it,we walk around with a fake smile on our faces,pretending that everything is ok when inside we feel like we could either scream or cry at any moment.
You will get better,it takes time and alot of strength. But,you will wake up one day and actually feel like the day is going to be good.
Feeling better does take time to get used too also. I still have bouts to where I am expecting things to be wrong and have to keep telling myself that I am ok.

Shy
Posted 4/12/2007 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
confused  First I want to say I mean no disrespect to anyone when I say, "NO DEPRESSION DOES NOT GO AWAY"  Depression (chronic) never goes away, it can be relieved and held at bay by meds, lifestyle, and many different types of treatments that are available.  I have lived with depression for 42 years and I have extensive education as well as experience in the field of medicine and know that depression is a disease that if it is a chronic or biochemical, it never goes away.  There are different types of depression in which yes, depression will cease those are cases in which people are not predispositioned to mental illness.  What we have to remember is that the worst, chronic, clinical depression is different than your basic depression that is diagnosed through different methods.

The best way to find out what type of depression you are experiencing and to what treatment is needed for the particular depression is to see your doctor and he can do tests and gain information in order to help you learn more about "your" depression.  Remember, depression IS treatable, whether or not it will go away is another story.

Thanks so much for all the kind words for my happy birthday, it was really hard and depressing.  Most of the day spent in tears.  I still give credit to my VNS for keeping me in a state to where I don't break down completely.

Teresa

Posted 4/12/2007 8:45 PM (GMT 0)
thank you for your reply teresa. i am very happy people are helping me on this website. im glad i found it. i get days that i could just lay in bed and cry my eyes out all day for no reason. with me it feels as if something is pulling me back when im trying to reach a specific goal. and its impossible to get there. i get this from the moment i ake up till the moment i go bed. ive been thinking about buying a book on someones biography on depression but i cant find one that will help me. have you any suggestions?

keep me posted. natalie x

Posted 4/12/2007 10:04 PM (GMT 0)
eyes  Hi Natalie~

I just read your reply and I have to tell you, I have been in my pajamas all day today and have been so depressed!  I can 100% relate to what you are saying.  Feeling that I feel right now is the worst feeling in the world, I live with this everyday!  In your earlier post you stated that if is hard to reach your goals and be thankful for what you have, SWEETHEART!!, believe me I know, Gosh, do I know.  I wish there were words of encouragement I could give you, I mean I could tell you what you know to be true but what and how you feel is different than what you can do! I just live day to day and hope that tomorrow is better.  I am running out of those days but I still have that glimmer of hope that sees me through.  As far as books, I have several in mind, but there is a book on cassette I think you would really enjoy!  I know I did and I am a huge skeptic of books and other's philosophies, I think because I am a social worker by trade.  The cassette recording is a topic about learning to love yourself but it really hits home with depression and what you and I are going through.  I am not sure of the exact author but I will get it for you.  The name of the recording though is "Until Today"!  Shoot, I wish I could remember it, anyway that is the title, it is done by a woman.  she is great, I cried all the way through it, it was extremely thoughtprovoking.  Look it up and get it from your local library, thats how i get all my books.  I will make a list and post them here for you. :-)

Hang tough and I will get that info for you!!!

Teresa

Posted 4/12/2007 10:12 PM (GMT 0)
tongue  Hi Natalie~~~~~

Here's your info:

"Until Today"

Author:  Iyanla Vanzant 

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Trade / December 2002 

yeah  Check it Out!!!!

Teresa

Posted 4/13/2007 5:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Confused Angry,
It makes me sad that someone as yung as you has to go through depression. All the tips here have been good ones. My faith in God helps me very much. I also have a wonderful friend. I am not on meds for several reason but see a councilor. He has been very helpful. Glad you wrote to us. Take care and God bless.
KodakPuppy
Posted 5/1/2007 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Natalie

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I have suffered depression for about 4 years, and I believe I have finally turned the corner......
Depression is so controlling and overwhelming. I have been fortunate enough to have a fantastic doctor and psychologist. Through a great deal of trial and error with meds (hang in there if you are having probs with meds) and intense counselling, I really can feel the difference.

I can't tell you what has finally made the difference, but I believe it is a combination of both meds and therapy, and the support of great doctors.

I can tell you that only 6 months ago I was pretty close to giving up "literally" but today I'm so very glad I didn't.

I can now be sad about something and know it is not depression, before, one led on to the other, spiralling down into that very black hole. Hang in there Nat, and if you're not receiving counselling, please seriously consider it.
It CAN go away, but you may have to be patient.
Best wishes
Deb
Posted 5/2/2007 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Nat~
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad! I can offer no advice right now because my depression is not any better than yours unfortunately.
Just know that you are not alone and I know that is not a great comfort. I am not one to sugar coat anything and that is a curse that I love to have, I guess that I am not easily swayed to thinking that everything is hunky-dory. I can tell you though that although the days seem as if they will never be good, the thing that keeps me going is faith that one thing will happen tomorrow that i will be glad i stuck around for!!!! It really works! If you look at that you will find that before you know it all those tough days are behind you and you are actually having a good day for a change.
Hugs for you!
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