Dating Depression

I have done a lot of reading on the disease. I don't think he recognises that he is battling depression. Although all of the signs are there. Lost of interest in evertything, no sex drive, feeling like a failure, loss of hope, pushing away the people he loves becasue he feels guilty for "holding" us back from our own lives, feeling like he is a burden.

I don't know how to help him. All of the information I have read says  encourage him to get help, but what exactly am I supposed to say to him, to encourage him without worsening his own condition? Just last week we had a huge talk, and he told me his plan to kill himself. This is so frightening. I tried to encourage him to talk to somebody, a third party, a counsellor and he changed the subject.

I am doing my best to be supportive, but the mood swings are sporatic, and often he will act as if life is perfect. Then the down side comes, and he pulls far away.

I have tried to listen, to get him to open up, he won't talk. I am scared to bring up the disscussion that he maybe suffering from a mental health illness/depression.

I have battled my own depression, earlier in my teens and 20's but it was a depression brought on by a tragic event in my life. It never gripped me the way it has gripped him.

He has no self esteem, he has no hope. I don't know what to do. I lost a friend to suicide 3 years ago. It came without any warning. I am scared, can someone please give me some advice on where to go from here.

Is there ANYTHING I can do to help him if he is refusing to seek treatment? Are there things I can do to make this period easier for him? I know he can not just "snap out of it", but is there any hope that he will get better if he doesn't seek medical treatment? All that I have read says that it isn't a "phase", I understand that, but if he refuses to get help, what can I do? 

I really am confused about what to do, or where to go from here. I have received different advice,encourage him to seek medical attention, don't encourage him to seek medical attention. I guess each individual is different on how they feel about others trying to help.

Primarily I am trying to keep things positive.

We have a puppy, and that is one of his only joys right now so getting him outside hasn't been too much of a battle until the last week or so.  I don't know how deep the depression is, but it is the talk of suicide that makes me think it is worse than it appears.

I feel helpless, on one hand I know he is the one who has to make a choice to face this and get better, but what he has already given up? I feel compelled to say someting, because I can't ignore the talk of suicide.

I was going to ask outright - "Have you ever thought that you may be suffering from depression? ". He has told me that he doesn't think that he is "normal". Should I encourage him to explore the possibility of depression? If he says no, do you think it would be a good idea to give him a print out of common signs/side effects of deppression? He could  read about it, in his own time, in his own space, as discussing emotions is very difficult for him. He will usually change the subject, or just ignore what I am saying. I figure if he reads about it, he might see that even though it's not "normal" to think these things,he is not alone. Other people are experiencing this and there is hope.

I found many good resources from different sites, I printed out 2. The first one is describing what one may feel if experiencing depression, and the other is similar but lists different places in our area where help is available.

What do you think?

The worst part of all of this is that he just lost his job on Friday, and now he is sitting around all day - he says it's too much time to think. Of course, I am extremly worried.
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