HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Encouragment to everyone..i could use some too

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 7/18/2007 2:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hey guys

as a fellow struggler with depression (sorry for the atrocity of that grammar but it is summer) i just wanted everyone to know they are loved and whatever they obstacle you are facing...you can beat it!  I would give every one of you a hug if I could! my prayers are with everyone

ive actually been doing great lately which has been awesome, but up until this month i had been at a pretty low point, although i have pretty much been able to stop self-destructive behaviors the raw feeling behind why i did it in the first place were still very present in my life.  I did my best to hide this from all my friends and family because i tend to feel tremendous amounts of guilt when i am depressed bc i feel like im bringing everyone else down so i usually just bottle it all in, put a smile on and go for a run.

 Latley ive been working out a lot to avoid feeling to low (got to love endorphins, although i always have to be careful that im running for the right reasons because i have struggled with eating disorders for the past 3 yrs because of having Body dysmorphic disorder).  Being a competive swimmer (well actually my mom makes me swim altough im really not a huge fan so its a secondary sport for me which comes after karate soccer competiting in snowboarding, and ski racing)  every meet and practice is a challange for me bc i hate being in a bathing suit.  sometimes when im changing ill look in the mirror and just lose it and start crying, but i hate crying in front of people and avoid it as much as possible. 

It actually feels pretty good to write this out bc i rarely let myself be vulnerable.  I also always feel like i have no right to be upset bc i am really lucky in life so i always feel bad when i feel down, bc God wants me to be a light in the world and i cant be when im depressed.  I also dont really have time to  be down bc i have 6 younger sibilings who always need my attention, help, and optimism.  I also teach karate so i force myself to be happy and cheery so i can give my best to the students...so i tend to just have crying attacks on occasion where i just cant stop crying and basically lose control. 

sorry about the vent guys

  

Posted 7/18/2007 3:06 AM (GMT 0)
Each of us needs to know that there is always someone that cares for us. Thanks and know we are here for you too.
Posted 7/18/2007 3:55 AM (GMT 0)

LG:  A former therapist who knew that I loved to write, frequently told me that writing what we feel takes the pain from our heart and transfers it to paper.  Writing helps to get the despair, loneliness and the emotion out of us.  And for me, getting rid of a major part of the emotion helps me to think more clearly and present myself better to others...thus resulting in a decrease of my depression.

I envy your for your endorphins...I need to convince myself to get my own butt out of gear.  Maybe I'll try working out if you keep up your writing!  

Cass

Posted 7/18/2007 5:32 AM (GMT 0)

Hi,

Im new here but wanted to extend my prayers and encouragement with being so down with thyroid/lupus for so many years I finally bite the bullet and gave into a antidepressant  (just starting) I just cried when I read your post you sound young and me being female and middle aged I feel I can relate to you being pushed earlier in years by many in my family, I do alot of crying by myself too as my sons are grown and gone dont get me wrong I have a wonder ful caring husband but its so hard to explain sometimes even to him what its like being like a roller coaster day to day either physically or mentally.  Just know Im here to help you ""hang in there"" sorry to go on and on here too but sometimes places like these they "understand" 

Blessings to you Jonny! :-)

Posted 7/19/2007 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks to everyone who posted!
Cass: Ill try to do some more writing if you try some running! sounds like a good plan to me
Jonny: Thanks for your encouragment, and i think in a few ways i do understand! hope all is well

Hope everyone is doing well today!
Posted 7/19/2007 6:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi LG

I was just reading your post and it is good to hear some positive comments and that you are feeling better after such a low point. I think it really gives hope to others who are feeling low that you can come out the other end and feel better, even if the depression is not guaranteed to be gone forever.

This forum is such a fantastic place and although I think it is really hard to make the effort when we are feeling very depressed you are right in that it does actually make you feel a little bit better to vent and hear that other people understand. I think it is so sad that for some reason society makes us feel that we have to hide our feelings, even from family and friends when feeling this way. Having done this for many years I have come to the very recent conclusion that what are these people there for if you cannot share your current honest feelings with them. I have done it in the past to 'protect' them particularly my immediate family but now feel that they really should know the reality of my situation and I must say I feel all the better for it. They may be upset and worry about me but after 20 years of hiding things I have found that they have made some effort to care and understand now that they have the full picture of my life's big ups and downs and that they realise that it is a real illness and not just caused by surrounding issues, although of course these can make things worse and definately don't help. It did make me sad to hear that you felt GUILTY and no right to be upset - OF COURSE YOU DO!! :-) In fact you sound such a positive force to others and are doing everything in your power to feel better so KEEP VENTING!
Posted 7/19/2007 5:20 PM (GMT 0)
I appreciate the vent. I too feel guilt for not being happy- everyone around us wants us to be just "be happy already" and i feel like i'm letting them down. i know they don't always want to hear about how horrible life is everytime i actually do pick up the phone. I have been trying to feel the endorphins thing, but i don't think it works for me. working out, running, just makes me focus on negatives about myself. i am like "when are these endorphins kicking in?!"
I am new-ish to this forum and am finding it to be a helpful tool to vent, and also to redirect my attention outward if only for a few moments. Its good to read when people are doing better. I agree that writing things out sometimes makes me feel some relief. I would like to be able to give some support back to others when i feel better, and give encouragement, but that seems so far away. I really think that the people on here know a lot more than the doctors I've been to... or they care more, or both. ah well.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply