Should I just live with it? (long)

I have been following several different doctor's advice (not at the same time) for many many years. I have been diagnosed at different times as bipolar 2, depression, severe depression, post traumatic stress syndrome, and chronic insomnia. My mind never finds the "off switch." I have taken many tricyclic antidepressants, (which do help to a certain degree) mood stabilizers, (depakote, seriquil, gabba-someting, etc.) which I get terrible side effects, and several different kinds of "benzo's." More than one doctor has been baffled and sort of.....gave up.

I also have cardiomyopathy, a pacemaker/defib. and take coreg, sotalol and lisinopril daily. I am told there are too many bad combinations, with these heart medications, which make prescription choices difficult. I was fine taking nortriptyline for many years before my heart crashed. Now it contributes to the dizziness. I am a 48 year, young man. On the upshot, my heart disease has caused my anxiety and panic attacks to be contained mostly, in mind only.

I am currently taking doxipan nightly and sometimes serax when I get too scrambled upstairs. This works well but it is addictive and not a long term solution. I have a psych. appointment in two days with a doctor that I had seen once before. (my insurance is juggled so I am seeing someone new again.) I am tired of playing "pill roulette." I usually get the opposite reaction of what the medicine is supposed to do. All I want is a few good hours sleep. This is very frustrating.

If I didn't have responsibilities it would be ok. Sleep a few hours, stay up for a couple days. I was denied disability (SSI) and have to get back to work. The trouble is, not everything is working right. My mind, body and spirit is not always in sync. I am not looking for the answer here, just some insight and support.

Have you tried any of the MAIOs (probably no good for you) or the SSRIs? Obviously there are other options than tricyclics.

I have a different opinion about addictive drugs. If you don't have an addiction problem already: studies generally show that the people who take addictive drugs correctly and for the right reasons don't have issues beyond withdrawal symptoms. I take several addictive drugs and don't care. I can feel bad for decades or go through withdrawal for a couple of weeks. I'll take the long term relief any day.

Best of luck to you.

Thank you for your input. My doctor stated the same thing about the serax. "If it helps, why not take it", which I am, and usually less than the prescribed dose. The MAIO's are a bad choice because of my heart condition. He did start me on a trial pack of Lamictal, which has some side effects. After 3 days, my one eye is getting a bit puffy, so I am concerned. (I seem to always get the side effects, which outweigh the benefits.) I also started a part time job, not in my field, but it is good because I have been unemployed for over a year. I have a million dollar's worth of medical work (no bull....all the heart surgeries) and I am bound to scare any employer offering a full time job with insurance. Boy, it is tough staying on my feet all day. Thanks, all.