Am I depressed.

 A little background.  I am an 82 year old white male with numerous physical impairments.  I have COPD numerous heart problems 5 way by pass and a number of myocardial infarctions, diabetes, colosstomy  are just a few.  I have had a good life and still enjoy a lot of things, but unfortunately many of my favorite things are long beyoind my ability now.  I tried to pay a round of golf just a few weeks ago but could not finish the 9 holes and I will never talk about the score.  I used to be a good golfer.  I can't ski and was a good skier,  I have fly fished for over 65 years, but can't stand u in the water any longer.   I build bamboo fly rods, but I am so greatly slowed down that even this is a faculty I am losing.  In the last couple of weeks I have been unbearably fatigues.  in fact I slpt about 40 hours in a two day period.  My wife is convinced I am depressed, and after reading Merlot Moons post, I can see myself in her description of her husband's behavior.  BUT I don't feel like I am depressed.  I am upset that I have slowed down so much and that I can no longer do the physical things I used to do.  I did suffer a clinical depression after the death of my first wife, and I had some rofessional help, but this does not seem to be like theat episode.  If I am burdensome and unthinking toward my wife, I have to learn to recognize and avoid theat behavior.  She is the greatest thing that has happened to me.  I just don't know what is going on.  Can any of you help?

 maybe a cousin of Merlot Moon  (Rmoon) arundinaria

thanks all

Ya know I have to agree with Doug here a little    However, I will share with you that I am getting ready to turn 34 in a few days and I have some heart problems that have completely knocked me for a loop.  I have Sick Sinus Syndrome with Bradycardia basically meaning that the electrical conduction regulation of my heart just stopped.  When it was found 2 yrs ago my heart rate was in the 20's so I had to get a pacemaker.  I also have a vent. septal defect and an autonomic disorder that often causes my heart to beat way to fast with extremely low blood pressure.

There are so many people who take for granted how difficult it is to get going again after you have had an heart issue.  Here you have had a by pass and all.  Did you feel any depression after this?  I agree that you should speak to your doctor regarding this.  But I have to wonder how much is having a difficult time excepting new limitations or if your trying to push yourself too much too soon.  

As anyone with serious health problems will tell you their life changes drastically afterwards and I am sure you have noticed yours has changed.  With that change we need to also know that our abilities to get through the day is going to change.  Hopefully, we can work back up to where we were before we became sick but, for a lot of us it is just a goal.  Something to work towards.

Arund
I too wanted to welcome you to the forum!

You have been given some great advice,and I agree with them that if this continues then you should see your doctor asap. It might just be a case where you need more vitamins in your system. And then maybe you can take it one day at a time. A walk on day,and then the rest of the day kinda take it easy,and then move on from walking to a game of golf once a week?
What about just regular fishing,where you can just sit in a chair?

Shy

I want to tell you a story about my grandfather, he's the same age as you, actually.

My grandmother passed away a few years ago. She found lumps all over her body. One week later she was in the hospital, the next week she passed away from cancer. I count it a blessing that she only suffered for two weeks instead of the years that I've heard that cancer can ravage someone.

Her and my grandfather were very close, and my grandfather became very depressed for a couple years. To occupy his time, he played bridge online. He met his partner, whose husband had alzheimers, and was bedridden. They both lived for the hours in the afternoon that they played bridge together. After a couple years passed, her husband passed away. My grandfather went down to visit her, and they hit it off quite well. My family were very happy and relieved as my grandfather's mood improved.

So, my grandfather and his new beau decided to go on a bridge cruise on the Mediterranean. Unfortunately, on the second day of the cruise, my grandfather fell down and broke his hip! They were stuck in Rome for a month until he was well enough to come home.

I may be a young pup, but I hope I can empathize with you. I've had times where I was stuck in bed for days, and wanted to get up, but couldn't. Depression gets in the way of you enjoying anything at all. I think it's best to count your blessings, and enjoy everything that you can. Perhaps keep doing things with less impact, say go to the driving range instead of 9 holes. Mark Twain said, "golf is a terrible way to ruin a good walk." I'm not a golfer myself, but perhaps you can get enjoyment from a walk that doesn't cause as much pain.

Aging is natural, it's something that I try to prepare myself for. Even in my late 20s, I'm starting to find out that there are some things that I can't do anymore. As I age, I expect that there are more things that I won't be able to do, and I try not to let it bother me. I know it's uncomfortable, but you may have to let some things go.

I don't think you are depressed, but if you let these things get to you, you will become more unhappy and depressed. Concentrate on the positive things, do activities that you enjoy that don't strain you as much, and count the blessings that you do have.