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this depression eats at me

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Posted 12/1/2007 8:56 PM (GMT 0)
hello,

Im 18 years old senior in HS and i feel like my life is stuck. I think ive been severley depressed for 2 years but i just keep telling myself im fine and its nothing. I feel alone all the time, even when im out or with friends. I think that lifes one big party and everyones laughing and having fun and im sitting alone somewhere wondering where my life went wrong and wonderign why that isnt me anymore. It hurts so much because i used to be happy, and i felt normal with my peers, they loved me and i loved them. Now i feel that my life is a big joke, and no one cares about me. It feels like i have lost the passion to live, and my soul has been ripped out of me. I dont care about anything not even myself. I have lost pretty much all my self respect and i feel myself becoming a very cold and mean person. The thought of death doesnt scare me and at times think i dont care if i die. This depression really started after my girlfriend of 3 years broke up w me for another guy because i changed my location. I try dealing with it with alcohol and smoking even tho i know it wont help. IVe hit rock bottom and i really need soem advice.

 

Posted 12/1/2007 11:10 PM (GMT 0)

IDK21: your feelings are normal with a lot of people your age. You are going through a lot of hormal changes but there are people that care for you. You are not a loser, you are not a loner...That is just in your mind.

There are  great rewards in life...You just have to give it time..We all have had your feelings over time but let me assure you....You HAGIN IN and a few years from now you will see that your thoughts now are very imature.

Keep us posted!!

Posted 12/1/2007 11:47 PM (GMT 0)

Hi there IDK21 and Welcome to Healingwell,

I wanted to start by welcoming you into our 'family'. I hope that you find all the support and love that you need here.

I understand how you feel as I have (and still do) suffer from depression myself and also have experience of other people with depression. I can assure you, as Andrew has said, that the way you feel is not that uncommon. It does sound like depression is a distinct possibility here and I would recommend that you have a medical professional take a look and get thier opinion regarding treatment. One thing I do know is that alcohol is not the answer. Many people associate alcohol with the good feeling they get when they drink but often forget that alcohol (specifically ethanol) is a depressant drug. Alcohol makes depression worse.

Please seek professional help with this and please keep talking to us.

Darren

Posted 12/2/2007 12:40 AM (GMT 0)

idk21,

I agree with Darren that you should see your doctor.  It sounds like depression to me, because I've been there and still go back there occasionally.  If you go and he suggests an antidepressant, please take it.  It could make a vast improvement in how your are feeling right now.  I certainly think break-ups can trigger depression and you don't even realize it's happening to you.  At first you might just not feel like getting out and going any where and then you do more and more of that and it becomes a routine for you.  You may not be doing anything except the things that you absolutely have to do, such as going to school.  I would hate to see you stay in this rut for very long.  You have college to look forward to next year and your senior year should be one you remember as a happy one.

Please make an appointment with your doctor and please stay in touch with us.  We care about you here.

Big Hugs!

Carla

Posted 12/2/2007 4:49 PM (GMT 0)

Hello idk,

This is Kitt and I feel the messages and advice you have received here are right on.  It is good sometimes to know we can see a therapist who will be the one person we can tell our feelings to without being judged.

Please consider finding a therapist just for you. It is not fun being depressed and sad so please keep posting and let us help you.

Sincerely,

Kitt

Posted 12/3/2007 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
 hey idk, i just wanna say that i completely understand where ur coming from. i do not agree with the post that says its a hormonal thing because ur young. im 25 years old and have been suffering from depression and anxiety ever since i hit puberty. like you, i got even more depressed when my gf's broke up with me too. i really cant offer any advice because i still havent seen been successful in treating myself. but what i can say is that there is something or someone out there who can help us. you just gotta look for it. good luck and keep your head up

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