Explain to me.....

(I can't seem to post in the anxiety section)

 

I'm currently without friends and a distance b/f due to our break-up....I need to meet new ppl but am terrified.

 

My new apartment complex is hosting a Christmas bash on the 13th for all the residents.  Logic says, GO meet new people and make friends....Anxiety says, you're a loser and no one would want to talk to you so why put yourself in a position to feel left out.

 

HELP!!

 

I just got the invite this morning and I'm stressing over this and it's not until next week.

 

(who knows, maybe I'll even meet some nice people)

 

 

Hi controlled.

Wow, I remember when I felt like that; sometimes I still do. When I had anxiety problems, I never went out because I thought that no-one would like me and even found it hard to walk 100 meters to the shop up the road. Its a horrible feeling, like your mind is having a big argument...yes Ill go, and no I dont want to. I went to a wedding the other day and was actually able to just walk up to people I didnt know and say hi and make conversation with them. I met some amazing people there and although it was very hard to do, it really paid off.

One of the things that I did to make it easier was taking it step by step. Think about what you're going to wear in advance so there is no panicking on the day (or even better, use it as a reason to hit the shops and treat yourself!). When you are getting ready, try not to think about actually going, just get ready. Put on some great music that you like, have a glass of wine and have fun doing your makeup and your hair. Thats all you need to worry about at that stage. Once you have done that, think about just getting out of your apartment and getting to the party, not necessarily going in. Standing outside a door isnt scary. The big step is getting the courage to go into the room. Take a deep breath and just go. I can guarantee that the thoughts of what might happen are worse than what will. You never know, there might be someone else in your building you doesnt want to go either because they dont know anyone.

Please go and have an absolutely fantastic time. If you make some friends, thats great! If they are not really your sort of people, you still have the HUGE achievement of overcoming a fear, which is great in itself.

Kate

oh geez....everyone of you described how I feel. I've been trying not to think about it (so I won't stress) and then just go. If I don't like it or feel really uncomfortable, I can leave....no harm no foul.

I can actually see myself getting ready, having the wine, listening to the music....and then not go. I've made all the excuses in the world for not going to places.

Heck, I paid for a class 2 months ago to learn about K-9 Search and Rescue and I talked myself right out of it the night before. I hope I get the strength to go....

either way, I'll let you guys know....thanks for always being here.

I'm starting to make excuses not to go....

and I even asked the b/f to go with me cause I totally didn't want to go alone....

WOW, I sound like I'm 12, lol

Please go i know it's scary but once you are there you will feel you ha,ve made a big step, you can do it! it's only a party, nothing horrible, it should be enjoyed, it's christmas and take your b/f if it makes you feel more comfortable. Do you know i love going out but it's few times i do it, and it's when i have nothing going on i'm at my lowest. Go you'll enjoy, Gillian.