dunno..i just want to exert what iam in

hey all

well , i wrote nd logged in here to get help as i wished to exert the pain inside me that i didnt have the courage to share with my family and friends

well i didnt check anywhere if i have depression , am am sure i got it ..I had entered alot of sites and read about symptoms of depression where i read that most of them r me :(

and what is killing me , is that darn depression have been started from a year without a single reason , and the most strange is that i was infected with it after i was living the most happy and meriful life i have ever had ,, and look what am in now ,, i just when i want 2 calm down , i have nothing to do except start remembering those happy days ,, the idea that makes me want to cry and scream just start thinking i bcame living ion just memories

look at me now , i bcame just a cinfused person all the time , my old friends started to feel that am weired or silly , i became talking non-sense , un wised talking .. and i was infected with depression in the period that i had the chance to know many new people at my university and church ,,but for my bad luck those two grps i didnt gained except silly friends because of my depression , and others sees that i sucks , and they have the right :'(

i feel comfortable just when am lonely , not in direct dealin with ppl , and i bcame thinking too much b4 hanging out with my friends .dunno mayb , may that coz i dont want to have a worse figure abt me more than that

well am just lost now ,, and here i want to take ur advice , am bored from the situation am in , i miss myself and want to get my normal,happy life back ,,, plz tell me what forst steps i must take , should i go to doctor ?? and if yes , will i assure that i will be cured and how long will it take ??

another question ,, does it cost too much to visit a doctor and have medicines ??

 

Hi there,

Shy is completely and absolutely right. Get to a doctor. There are all kinds of good therapists and many different meds that you can try for depression. I would take her advise.

I hope that you can get help and get through this. Living with depression is no fun. Once you get a dx the doctor will know how to treat you with meds.

Good luck with this, and keep posting. We are here for you in the meantime.

hugs,

Karen

Good Luck and keep us posted!

Hi life,

I was reading your post and I got a little confused, which is normal for me.  You said you feel comfortable when you are lonely.  Did you mean when you are alone? 

That would be a common symptom of being depressed.  I tend to disassociated myself from people and feel the best when I am alone.  And even though I am feeling better I still choose to be by myself a lot.  I do have a couple of friends that I see but very seldom.  But I do try to get out once in a while.  Even if it only is a walk or something.

I wish you luck with this.  I hope you can see a doctor soon.  And in the meantime we will be here for you.

hugs,

Karen

Hey Life,

I pick that to call you because I see that in your future.

I feel the safest when I post on the forum. I think that I feel like nobody can see my vonerable side. I have a really hard time talking on the phone, I would rather email. And I have had times when I wouldn't even answer my door or my phone. Do you ever do that? I don't look at it as unhealthy, though it could become that way, but I look at is a a choice that I made. Which is good for me at that particular time.

I am happy that you are going to see a doctor. I take effexor xr, xanax and abilify. It took me a lot of different medications before I found what was right for me. Like seven or eight. The abilify helps me with obsessive thinking patterns. It makes life a lot better, I use to get on a pattern of thinking and not be able to think any other way. Especially if I was angry. I recently ordered a book on cognative thinking. I can't wait to read it. I had it years ago and lost it, I was happy to find it again.

I hope that you feel better soon, then you can be lovemylife. But for now I hope you don't care if I call you life. That is what I forsee for you.

hugs,

karen

I think that it all depends on the doctor. But I think that the first step would be therapy so they can find out if you have a chemical imbalance or if this is just due to your situation. A lot of the answers come from the way we look at things. These thinking patterns can be changed. The most important thing is being honest with your counselor or therapist about how you feel. And if you don't know how you feel, tell them that too. I think that you are going to be just fine. Depression is treatable.

Please keep us posted. We are here to help in any way that we can.

Karen

am losing all hope , i dont want a cure ...
why me God ??? why i get depressed without a reason ?? at least if depression happened 4om a reason , people couldnt lame me and my personality this way??

why when i start to be better , something darn happen , even when i started to think hw iam going 2 convince my parents i find them fighting eachother and they r thinking 2 break up . after i became 19 now .....



WHy when i start praying 4 making it better , i find it worse



am writing beside my balacony now ,,



y i became like thisssssssssssss why i bcame so weak ??? i know i make faults , but all do that isnt that or what ???????????????????????????????????????



i know how my life will be in the future ,, i will become in this case and i will fewly get better but coz the case am in i will fail in exams and i will become depressed again







**** my life

I am sorry but I had to edit your post due to the rules of our forum. Before you post again,please review the rules.www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=46&m=106997

1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 1/12/2008 5:34:39 AM (GMT-7)

hey dont worry karen am ok now i have just like u said in a moment of a severe depression because i had many stresses on my head ,, things i really cant stand behind my depression
and sorry 4 telling u that i dont live in USA , i live in a country that dont care abt depression and consider depressed ppl as abnormal ones ,, i hve searched for good doctors and i didnt find except the very expensive one
thanx 4 ur concern ,, am ok now ,, am just feeling hopeless :(

Michael

shynsassy am really trying hard for finding a good doctor and really cant find ,,
but i made a positive thing is to try to help myself as much as i can from the net

but i want 2 ask u a small question,,, what is the kind of depression that u just live in ur good past and all what take ur mind is just thinking of the past and that what makes u better ,,, i think i have this kind

I am not sure,that is something a doctor is going to have to answer for you.