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Posted 1/17/2008 10:38 PM (GMT 0)
Greetings. I am a new member and just want to say hi and to introduce myself. I live in Canada and have been suffering from depression and Panic and anxiety for as long as I know myself. I have been diagnosed with Abuse Related Trauma, the symptoms of which are similar to PTSD. The symptoms that bother me most are depression, anxiety, flashbacks and insomnia. I used to work but has been unable to since 2005. Of course this does not help my condition. I feel like I am slowly slipping away and losing myself. I have taken all the known SSRIs but nothing helps. I presently take celexa and xanax. The xanax helps the anxiety but thats about it. I have been thinking of asking my doc about ECT because I am tired of living like this. Does anyone know anything about ECT or has
anyone undergone this type of therapy? Please tell me all you know about it.

My days are dark and gloomy and at times I feel I would be better off dying. However my youngest is 13 years old and I am hanging in there cause I know she needs me and I do not want her to go through what I underwent after being abandoned by my mother at 4 months old.

I look forward to sharing and supporting those of us who still battle this demon of depression.

Regards
Gettingthere.
Posted 1/17/2008 11:24 PM (GMT 0)

Gettingthere.

Hello,  this is Kitt. I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you on your first visit to Healing Well!  To help you get the most out of the Depression Forum please take the time to browse our threads.


I am sorry that your life has been so rough and I wish I could say I have all the info on ECT therapy. I had a friend that was treated but I do know she was still struggling and in the end it took major changes in her life to pull her out of the depression.

 

There is a lot of info on the internet and there is a site dedicated to ECT, however I felt  they were against CBT as well as  one on one therapy.  That could have been my  take on reading the info.

 

I hope this is something you research well and weigh all the odds.  Talk it over with your Pdoc and make sure it is the right treatment for you.

Keep posting and know we are here for you. Gentle Hugs to you.

Posted 1/18/2008 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Getting there,
I am getting by. I know I sound dumb and I did look this up, but didn't really get the answer but what is ECT therapy? I will in the meantime keep looking to find the answer on the net.

I hope that you can start feeling better soon, especially for your children. You hold a special place in their hearts and everybody that you know. You are a special person.

Have you ever tried abilify? It is fairly new and it really helps me a lot. I use to feel like you. I thought there was no end but there was finally a light at the end of that dark descelant tunnel. I started to be able to feel again. My moods have lifted and I actually go to bed looking forward to getting up the next day. That is something that I never thought I would feel again. I also take effexor xr and xanax.

I didn't welcome you to the forum, welcome........There are a lot of wonderful people on here that are more than happy to help answer your questions.

Hugs,

Karen
Posted 1/18/2008 12:07 AM (GMT 0)
Getting There
I too want to welcome you to the forum. I am sure you will soon see how many of us can relate to what you are going through. And we will try to be there for you as much as we can.

As Kitt said you really need to talk to your doctor to make sure you are getting the treatment that is needed for you.

Stay strong and keep us posted.
Posted 1/18/2008 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
Shynsassy, thanks for your welcome. I have talked with my psych and he thinks I have taken most of the meds out there so its best to remain on the celexa....even tho its not helping.

I am reading the threads and I already see a lot of similarities with what I am going thru.
Posted 1/18/2008 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Getting by,

lol at "I am getting by". Thanks for your response. ECT is electroconvulsive therapy aka shock treatment. Thanks for your well wishes and encouragement.I will look into abillify and see if its different from anything I have taken before.

Presently I am at the lowest since I know myself. Its like I have undergone a 360o turn in my life and who I used to be. I am so tempted to take the easy way out but for my girl I am trying to hold on.

Thanks again and see you around.
Posted 1/18/2008 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi stkitt

Thanks for your welcome and for the bit of info on ECT. I have looked it up on the internet and found stuff against and some for it. I asked here to get some personal experience with it. It sound scary with all the memory loss and confusion as side effects but I am so at the end of my rope that I am desperate for anything that will help. I have been told that I need one on one therapy but I cannot afford it.

What is CBT therapy and can you give me that site for ECT. Thanks again for everything.
Posted 1/18/2008 12:54 AM (GMT 0)

Hi again Getting There,

Please do hold on as tight as you possibly can.  Your daughter needs you so very much.  I hope that you can try the abilify.  It works for me and is the first thing that has worked for my sister in years.  I actually look forward to the mornings.  All I use to do is sleep and dwell on things.  I didn't care if I didn't wake up the next morning.  But now it is like a weight lifted off of my shoulders.  I have reason to keep on going.  And that is life.

I know that you will feel better soon.  We are here for you anytime.  I am off and on all of the time right now.  So if you need to talk, there will be someone here.  Just don't give up, things do get better.

I wish for you a wonderful relaxing evening,

hugs,

Karen

Posted 1/18/2008 2:58 AM (GMT 0)
"I actually look forward to the mornings. All I use to do is sleep and dwell on things. I didn't care if I didn't wake up the next morning. But now it is like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. I have reason to keep on going. And that is life."

Getting by

The above words I pray I will be able to write one day. I am really happy for you. All I do is sleep too. I feel trapped inside these walls. I tried working twice last year and the jobs lasted for 3 and 7 weeks respectively. It is very hard to get Disability so I am in a financial bind being on welfare. I am willing to try anything that can help to get me back on my feet. I have to keep talking to myself aloud about my girl and her need for me to keep me going.

Thanks for your kind words and for caring.
Posted 1/18/2008 3:20 AM (GMT 0)

Getting There,

I do believe that CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy.  I may be wrong.  But if it is, it is more of a psycological approach.  It has to do with learning to think differently.  Which is what the abilify helps with.  At least to me it does. 

I have faith in you.  I really feel that you will make it.  It might not be the easiest thing that you do, but nothing good comes easy.  But I believe that if you try, which you are doing, you will succeed.

Just keep on doing what you are doing.  And remember that we are here for you.

Hugs,

Karen

Posted 1/18/2008 3:50 AM (GMT 0)
Getting By

Thanks. Now that you say it I do believe that that is what it stands for. I have a book by David Burns on it. Thanks for believing in me..it helps me to believe in me too...sounds funny eh? You are very kind.
Posted 1/18/2008 4:03 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Getting there,

that is so ironic.  I just ordered that book in the mail.  The new mood therapy.  I read it years ago (20) and had been looking for it and found it on line.  Just got it in the mail the other day.  Isn't that strange?  We both have the same book.  I just started reading it again.  I must say the first edition was easier for me to read, but this is coming along okay.

Have a wonderful night.

hugs,

Karen

Posted 1/18/2008 4:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Getting by

Ironic indeed. I came across it in my school library when I was a teacher 21 years ago in my country. When I moved to Canada I found the latest edition and bought it. Its a good book but one I have to read slowly. I wanted to read it last night and was looking for it. On a recent trip I took it with me and I think it is still in a bag or suitcase. With my bad memory it will take a while for me to find it.

Some things cannot be explained..you are Getting by and I am Getting there -:) Have a great night too and sleep well.

Dor
Posted 1/18/2008 7:47 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Dor,

Where did you live before you moved to Canada?  I live in Michingan in the US.  It is cold here right now.  I find it interesting the names that we picked and a coincidence that we are reading the same book at the same time.  I kept mine for quite a few years before I lost track of it.  I think the issue that I have right now is a little harder to read, but I am getting there. LOL.

What kind of interests do you have?  I like walking and cross country skiing, though the skiing hasn't happened yet this winter.  I have fibromyalgia and I don't always feel good.  But I need the exercise so badly.

This fall I made Christmas wreaths for the animal shelter to sell to raise money for the animals.  I love nature and animals.  Also plants.  My energy goes in spurts, one day good the next might not be so good, but all in all I am feeling better then I have in a long time.  I like to draw and paint.  Usually wolves.  That is my favorite, plus tigers.  I use a lot of black in my work, kind of my style.  But I think it makes the colors stand out better.

I will end here, I hope to talk to you later.

I wish for you a wonderful relaxing day,

hugs,

Karen

Posted 1/19/2008 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen

I lived in Jamaica before I moved to Canada. I live 2 hrs from Detroit and usually fly from that airport as I am in the middle of Toronto and Detroit and flying is cheaper from Detroit. It is very cold here too. We have similar weather to Detroit and its outskirts.

The things I like to do are in the summer. I hate winter..too cold and dark. I bike ride, gardening( I really like to watch things grow). I am a nature lover too and will take walks sometimes along the river or along the paths they have here. That is now limited because of chronic back pain which goes down into my left leg. I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia and has been on pain meds I always wanted to learn to ice skate and rollerblade but I am afraid of breaking a bone..lol.

I do not have any friends here and no family except my 2 kids. The older one is on his own and in University... so it's very lonely and suffering from depression does not make it any fun at all. So all in all I am almost housebound. I only go out to get groceries and meds..which I get at the same store....lol. My daughter is part of a community youth group so she has a very active social life. Before I got to this point we used to do a lot of things together but at this age she does not really want to hang with me anyways..lol

Yes it is interesting with the names and the book..guess we will see what it leads to-:). Have a beautiful day.

Dor
Posted 1/19/2008 11:20 PM (GMT 0)

Hello Dor,

Since you like plants you will be happy to know how excited I was this morning when I saw that my orchid bloom opened up over night.  I was noticing yesterday that it was getting close.  I had to take a picture of it, I was just so amazed, I was afraid that it had gotten too cold.

Did I tell you that I live in Michigan?  Another thing that we have in common is that I have fibromyalgia too.  I am on the fibro forum a lot.  That is something else.  I have had it since about 2002.  Somewhere along in there, but I didn't get diagnosed until about 2003.  The doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with me after a lot of tests.  Well I should say I couldn't figure it out.  Then one day she checked my tenderpoints and I about jumped off of the table.  Then she told me what she thought I had.  I had never heard of it so I had her write it down.  Shortly after that I got ahold of the fibromyalgia network and got some information on it and started getting their newsletter,  That was where I learned about it.  I spent the first two years in bed, I don't go much either, groceries, medications, and to the laundromat, oh yes, doctor, psychiatrist and psycologist.  That is my life.  I do have two greenhouses and a garden spot.  Flowers that I planted years ago.  Perennials and some re seeding annuals. 

My husband and I just made a group effort of making scallop potatoes and porkchops.  Just threw it into the oven a few minutes ago.  He is so good to me, we just got married in December, but have been together for seven years.  He was so good to me when I was at my lowest.  He has a lot of patience with me.  I am very lucky.

i love nature and like to take walks too.  I try to take my dogs when I go.  They need exercise too.  It has been a hard winter for walking the dogs.  I can't wait for this cold spell to break.  I am in northern lower Michigan. 

I bet Jamaica is beautiful.  You will have to tell me about it sometime.  Looks like you moved from one extreme to another as far as the weather goes, in winter especially.  We often have hot and humid summers.  The humidity makes my fibro flare up just like the damp weather does.  Do you ever go on the fibro forum? 

I hope that you have a wonderful evening.

hugs,

Karen

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