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Posted 2/3/2008 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
I lost my Mom on Jan 1st 2008.  She had heart failure on December 24th.  On the Dec 27th I was admitted for multiple blood clots - not following order after knee surgery on Dec 19th.  I was admitted and the physicians would not allow my feet to leave the bed stating my condition too risky - they knew my Mom was in a coma.  I was released in 5 days and did not make it to my Mom's bedside before she passed.

I was dx'ed with unipolar in hospital last year; hit rock bottom after losing my job - ending up losing everything I had.  This happened one yr ago.  I have moved my son and I, started a new job and was making great progress.  I am 45 yrs old.

I feel like I am slipping, worse than slipping.  Please help. 

levon

Posted 2/3/2008 2:00 AM (GMT 0)

Levon,

Welcome to HealingWell.  I am really sorry about the loss of your mother.  It sounds like you have had a lot to deal with in the past year or so.  But, I can also hear in there that you are a strong person and that you are going to make it, one day at a time, for you and for your son.  I am happy for you that you have found a new job.

Please know that we are here to support you and you will find many new friends.  We become like a big family around here.  Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Take care!

Carla

Posted 2/3/2008 2:04 AM (GMT 0)

Levon, my words you have been through a lot.  No wonder you feel the way you do.  But do not dispair, you have a new job and a new place for you and your son.

These feelings that you are going through are normal.  Especially after what you have been through.  Please don't be hard on yourself, you are grieving the loss of your mother.  And of course you wanted to be at her side, but you can't help that you weren't able to.  So let that pass.  You sound like you were close to her.  She would want you to go on with life as you are doing.

I hope that this helped you a little.  It is a hard time of year right now, everybody has been feeling a little down.  But with help from us, you will feel better soon.  You have come to a good place.  We are here for you.

Hugs,

Karen

Posted 2/3/2008 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
Carla and Karen, Thanks so much for you encouragement.  I've never felt more alone in my life. 
Posted 2/3/2008 4:52 AM (GMT 0)

Levon,

I like your name.  But I want you to look at your signature.  That makes so much sense right now. 

We are here for you so keep posting.  You wont feel alone for long.  There are a lot of wonderful people here who would love to correspond with you.  You really have to focus hard on your accomplishments right now.  Remember you are a wonderful person and a good provider for your son.  Don't sell yourself short.  You are doing the best you can.  I think that you are a lot stronger than you realize.  Be at peace with yourself.  You are very special.

luv and hugs,

Karen

Posted 2/3/2008 12:32 PM (GMT 0)

Hi there,

Im so sorry to hear about your mum. I cannot imagine the pain it must cause, being so young (ish! lol) myself. When you were diagnosed with unipolar, were you given any meds to come out with or a treatment plan? Grieving a hard process to go through, that I understand and I have personal experience of people who find it much harder to let go than others. Your name hits the nail right on the head. Take one day at a time and eventually you will get to where you are going.

Please talk whenever you need to

Darren

Posted 2/4/2008 2:12 AM (GMT 0)

Levon,

I'm just checking in to see how you are doing today.  I hope today was a brighter day for you.

Take care!

Carla

Posted 2/6/2008 4:54 AM (GMT 0)
LEVON,
WELCOME TO HEALINGWELL--please know you are never alone here--there are good people here
always willing to listen and help if we can.So sorry about your mom,but sounds like in other parts
of your life things are looking up --sounds like you are a great person and as you name-1dayatatime
is the right way to go--may things get better and better ok.welcome again...
Posted 2/10/2008 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
  You guys are awesome.  I saw my psychiatrist this week and she wants me to quit smoking immediately because of the blood clots.  She reminded me that I am all that my son has. I know I should quit and have cut down significantly.  Does it make since that I need a crutch now? Love to all, Levon
Posted 2/10/2008 3:50 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Levon,

I am glad that your visit with your doctor went well.  But she has made a very good point about you stopping smoking.  If you have blood clots especially.  It is too risky. 

I know that you want to be there for your son, and if something were to happen to you imagine how it would be for him.  To keep smoking would not be a smart idea.  I know how hard it is to stop.  I am trying to quit now.  Have you tried Chantix yet?  It helps with the urges and kind of makes you feel good.  It doesn't work that way for everybody but it does for me.  I am getting closer to my goal and I would like for you to be able to also.

Good luck sweetie,

hugs,

Karen

Posted 2/10/2008 4:20 PM (GMT 0)
Karen, You are absolutely right. I'll try the Chantix. Are you cutting down or going the 'cold turkey'? I admire you! Levonne
Posted 2/10/2008 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
Levon,

I am cutting down. I found if you decide to have a cigarette, make that the only thing you do. Stop what you are doing and smoke the cigarette. But don't smoke while you are doing other things, eventually you will be putting them out. I use to smoke so much, I would light a cigarette for every reason. Drinking coffee, talking on the phone, getting in the car, getting out of the car. Everything. Now I make myself smoke and do nothing else, I find I don't have the time. Also keep them in another room so you have to get up to get them instead of having them close to you. Start leaving the house with only one or two and eventually none. It is such a psycological thing. Yes I guess it is a crutch. I just keep trying to quit. Years ago I did, but started again. Now they put more addictive chemicals in them and have increased the nicotine in them. I hate that they did that, and I notice they burn up faster. The tabacco companies are really making it hard to quit.

Good luck to you sweetie, I know that it isn't easy. But you don't want to die from it. With those blood clots, smoking could be fatal.

hugs to you,

Karen
Posted 2/10/2008 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for your encouragment! Hope you have an awesome day. Hugs, Levonne
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