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Posted 2/5/2008 3:13 PM (GMT 0)

It seems like no matter how hard I try to over come my depression and take control of my life, I am bombarded with constant problems to overcome.  Always something!  Too many to mention. Today is the coldest day of the year and my furnace stopped working yesterday. I only had enough firewood for one night and I have only 50.00 until Friday when I'm hoping my tax return will come.  I'm hoping my pipes don't freeze.  I could go scrounge for wood outside if everything wasn't covered in a foot of iced over snow.  If it was just me I wouldn't care but I still have a son at home. Even when I'm not sick and working I never seem to be able to make enough money to make ends meet and fix the house.  It's hard to over come the mental stuff when you have to worry about just surviving all the time. Sometimes I feel I'm the worlds biggest loser. 

 

Posted 2/5/2008 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
Please contact a local church or Salvation Army....they will always be there for you. I bet a neighbor wouldn't mind giving you some wood for a few days either.
Posted 2/5/2008 3:29 PM (GMT 0)
HI Deb
Lyn here
There is no shame in doing exactly what Mochiah has posted
YOU will get help I am sure of it plus you have to know that you are NOT the world s biggest LOSER


Not to make light of your situation either my friend but when things go way bad for me ( and they are now ) I tend to think of others that are way worse off than I

.....you are it seems right at the moment BUT you will get back on your feet once again ..I am positive of that....you are a strong woman and a great mom.......
Let us know how you make out plz........STAY STRONG.......we are here for you ya know..luvs..LYN
BTW thanks for the email......LYN
Posted 2/5/2008 3:34 PM (GMT 0)

Hi Deb,

I think that our lives are full of ups and downs.  There is always going to be something to deal with. 

First of all you are not a loser.  You are a working mother.  That is a lot.  You keep a roof over you and your son's head and food on the table.  You should be proud of all of your accomplishments.  You are a survivor.

Mochiah has a point, try a local church, the salvation army or even human resources.  They may be able to help you until your income tax check comes.  Also do you know anybody that you could get wood from until you get some help? 

Life is going to throw you all kind of curveballs.  It is how you handle the hurdles.  There will always be some kind of change.  I know that you will be able to handle it. 

Good luck to you.  Try to remember you are a survivor.  You can handle this.  And keep in mind all of your accomplishments, you are a strong person and a good parent.  Don't forget that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

hugs,

Karen

Posted 2/5/2008 3:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Debbie,
I'm glad you posted again i've been thinking about you and wondering how you are.

I'm so sorry of your situation, is there no one who can see you through until you get yourself sorted? What about your other son maybe? Or like the others suggest, the church or human resourses.

I don't like to think of you out there in that terrible weather without much food or heating.

Can i just say you are no where near being a loser! Please don't think that way.

Your friend Gillian x
Posted 2/5/2008 9:31 PM (GMT 0)

Hi there,

I can relate to how you feel when you say you feel like the worlds biggest loser. But sometimes when you go to bed on it, things look a lot different in the morning. Having a chat with the neighbour and borrowing some wood would be a good idea. If the roles were reversed and your neighbour came and borrowed some wood from you, would you think any less of her? Its great that you are thinking about the care of your little boy as well. I hope the ground thaws out for you soon.

Darren 

Posted 2/5/2008 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for your kind words and concern luckily everything has worked out OK.  Today I was reminded of a very important fact.  God is in control.  When I lose site of that everything seems out of control.  Today was the day from @#%! but in the end everything worked out.  He was watching over me.  Shortly after I made my post this morning my dog Mike got out.  The snow is frozen in drifts. He simply found a place where he could walk over the fence.  While looking for him I slipped on the ice and fell but I was OK.  I found him and came home just as my neighbor had just got her car unstuck she stepped out of her car to get the shovel and slipped and fell and broke her arm.  I  hugged her and moved her car out of the road and waited for her mother come out of the house to take her to the Dr.  Me and her and her Mom were all crying "we hate winter it's too hard!" Group cry and hug.  It made me realize I'm not the only one struggling with it.  I literally cried all day.  My car got stuck at the bottom of the driveway so I had to chain up to get loose.  Then I got stuck down the street by my mailbox.  I needed to go to the store to get a fuse for my furnace and see if that might be the problem. I live 10 miles from town. While I was trying to dig my car out, (It's still stuck just left it by mailbox and walked home) a heating and air truck pulled over to talk on his cell.  I just happened to have the fuses in my purse ( had to go up on the roof to get them, scary). I ran to his window with the fuses and asked if he had some like that.  He tested them and one was bad.  He did have some on his truck.  They were $30.00, but I had just gotten a birthday card out of my mailbox from my dad.  It had $50.00 in it!  I thanked the man, locked my car and trudged home and up onto the roof to pop them into the fuse box.   It Worked!  I have heat!   Any prayers for me from you all out there were most certainly heard and answered. Thank you all so much. God bless you!

Posted 2/6/2008 12:50 AM (GMT 0)

Debbikay.......Hurrah, God was watching over you as you were surely an angel appearing out of the cold for your neighbor.  How I wish you were closer as some of the members know, I am married to Mr. Wood Cutter of Minnesota.  He chops, cuts, splits and keeps the home fires burning.  One thing we have that we would gladly share is wood.

I am so glad you got your furnace going.  I believe you can prevent the water from freezing to fast in the pipe by leaving a trickle of water running.  I know I have heard that somewhere.

Depression can be a vicious merry-go-round but remember you are strong, you have your faith and you have us now.  Remember to be kind to yourself.

Try to save room for some laughter in you day.  Sometimes after crying all day and things seem hopeless I will go online and see some silly thing or a funny video and it makes me laugh.

All God's angels come to us disguised. ~ James Russell Lowell ~

Many gentle hugs
Kitt

Posted 2/6/2008 1:10 AM (GMT 0)

Debbikay,

I am so glad that things turned out all right for you in the long run and it's probably all because you helped that lady.  I know you didn't do it for that reason, you're just the kind of person to help someone in need.  It was like a Pay it Forward for you.  I certainly hope life in general gets better for you soon

Big Hugs!

Carla

Posted 2/6/2008 2:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone! I never of thought it that way before. I mean what you said about helping my neighbor.  I just heard someone crying and in distress.  I felt bad for her.  I just figured God felt bad for me in the same  way.  I know allot of people have it much worse than I do in every way and I have to remind my self when I have days or weeks like this.  I know my chemistry  is all messed up and I feel sick and tired all the time, so it's hard not to let the depression cloud my perspective.  Today I was forced to go out and struggle all day long physically.  I felt sick and fatigued the whole time.  But I lived and I'm no worse off.  Maybe I needed to know that I can go out and move around even if I do feel sick, tired and depressed and I'll still be OK.  I've been giving in to vegging too much I think.  I did laugh today!  I was walking ( slipping and sliding) to my car with the shovel and I heard a bird singing in the top of a tree.  I was passing by an elderly neighbor man as he waved I looked up at the bird in a joking way and shook my fist up at the bird and said  "What are you singing about!!!"  and we both started laughing!  It felt good and I really was happy to hear a bird sing on such a frozen winter day. 
Posted 2/6/2008 10:57 AM (GMT 0)

I am so glad that everything worked out for you! It definately looks like someone was looking after you! How is your neighbour? I hope the break was not too bad. Perhaps if your neighbour lives on her own, you could all live in your house and share resources? I ama great believer in karma... What goes around, comes around. Good things happen to good people and thats obviously what has happened this time! Rock on Summer! lol

Darren

Posted 2/6/2008 12:48 PM (GMT 0)
That is so cool how things can work out like that!

Someone is watching over you!

We will get thru this winter,it is so hard on everyone!
Posted 2/6/2008 4:12 PM (GMT 0)

Debbikay,

Today is a new day.................. Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much >
Kitt :-)

Posted 2/6/2008 4:48 PM (GMT 0)
WOW! Debbie, what a day, i'm so glad your ok. I think because you never sat about doing nothing and got out the house to try and get the fuses, things just turned out fine, it's like fate or something!!!!
I hope the weather starts to get warmer soon, your place must be tranquil in summer with the breeze through the trees and the birds singing.
Having seen your video clips i can picture it clearly.

Hope this finds you well,
Gillian x
Posted 2/8/2008 4:43 AM (GMT 0)

Debbikay,

Just checking in to see how you are doing.  Don't those birds just tick you off when they are singing and we have nothing to sing about?  :-)    The very nerve of them!

Hugs!

Carla

Posted 2/8/2008 5:13 AM (GMT 0)
I like you Carla! You have my kind of humor. I'm doing much better thank you!  The sun came out and I managed to get my driveway cleared and my car back in.  My neighbor is OK, she has a cast. I guess she gets to miss two weeks of work.  I went to the GI and since the nightly Colocort (enema) isn't working I don't have to do it anymore.  O DARN!  I get to take an oral med now.  Well I'm off to the Crohn's forum to see about that med and what people  say about  it.  Thank you all for being here. I literally don't know what I would have done the last couple of months if it weren't for healingwell.  I really thing I may have lost it.  Sometimes you just need to know that someone is listening.  This is a special place filled with special people who make a difference to lonely depressed people like me.  Just knowing you are there helps so much.  Thanks again
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