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Feeling really down (venting)

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Posted 3/10/2008 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Today my mom kind of "yelled" at me and now I can't seem to control my emotions! Mostly sad though. I can't even control my crying. Usually I can control it enough to let it all out at night but I just can't seem to pull my self together. I'm not even crying for a specific thing I just feel infinitely sad and I just start crying like crazy. It's been a while since this has happened to me. I think depression is coming back stonger than ever. I'm already taking the maximum dosage of Citalophram 40 mg. I've been fine for a while, but I think my moms little talk just pushed me over a cliff that never ends. This has been going on for two days.

I think the one thing that really makes me feel bad is that my mom doesn't trust me anymore. I haven't even done anything and she's already distrusting me. Like I said in an earlier topic, I love the theatre and especially the technical side of it. I've been spending a lot of my time there because it's the only place that I don't fel as depressed. But my mom doesn't even believe that I'm there! I do understand that she worries about me and she wants to know where I am, but I've never done anything that has been untrustworthy. because I haven't been able to get my head straight, and now I have all this homework to do that is due tomorrow. There is no way I'll ever be able to finish it all. I doubt that my teachers will understand why I didn't do my homework, but now it doesn't even feel like I have the strength or brain power to do my homework. I hate feeling like this... I just read over my post, and it's so whiny! But please bear with me. In english we read this book called THE CATCHER IN THE RYE and it was basically about a teen boy who was depressed. No one else picked up on that, but I recognized manythings in the book that he was depressed, because I had experienced what was discribed in the book. Everybody else saw him as a whiny kid. Is that what depression is? Whining? I know it's much deeper than that, but I just have to wonder. Please nobody take offense, I'm just thinking out loud.

 

Posted 3/10/2008 2:55 AM (GMT 0)

Alright Froggy,

I know that you have a lot of homework to do right now.  So I want to tell you something that might help you.  If you have 15 or 20 minutes to spare, I can save your night. 

First of all, if you have some relaxing music it would help.  But I want you to concentrate on your breathing.  Start by breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.  Do that about 10 times.  Then breathe strictly through the nose with your mouth shut.  Let your tongue touch the part of your pallet that is directly above your front teeth.  That should be a relaxed position for your mouth.  Do not clench your teeth.

Now start with the top of your head.  invision every hair, your scalp and relax it.  Then gradually relax every muscle in your body until you come to the tips of your toes.  Your shoulders may be the hardest because they hold so much tension.  Don't leave one muscle group to go to the next until it is completely relaxed.  By the time that you are done, your mind will be ready to study and do homework again.  With practice you will be able to do this within 5 to 10 minutes.  And there you go.  Now try that and see if it doesn't work.  I bet you will feel a lot better when you are done.

Good luck,

Karen

Posted 3/10/2008 3:42 AM (GMT 0)
thanks i'll try that.
Posted 3/10/2008 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Froggy

I am very sorry that you are having problems with your mom. One thing to remember is that parents are not perfect,and we often make mistakes.

I think it might be time for you to go back into the doctor..they might need to adjust your med..don't worry that is normal.

On a good note.. we often see where parents basically refuse to take their kids to the doctor to get help with depression,so just the fact that your parents saw the signs and were willing to take that step does mean that they are worried about you.

Stay strong and keep us posted.
Posted 3/10/2008 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there froggy

"Is that what depression is? Whining?" I dont believe that depression is whining and I dont think you or anyone else on this board will think so either. However to those who are uneducated, ignorant or self-centred depression can look the same as someone whining and whinging. This is why I believe it is important for all the mental health charities to carry on doing the fantastic work they do. To help educate people and erase the stigma.

Darren

Posted 3/11/2008 4:05 AM (GMT 0)

thanks to everyone who has posted... I'll keep all of your words in mind... I plan to take a break from all of this and try to clear my mind... everything seems so muddled right now.

Thanks,

Froggy

Posted 3/11/2008 11:08 AM (GMT 0)
We will be here when you need us Froggy.


Stay strong
Posted 3/11/2008 1:06 PM (GMT 0)
Take as long as you need Froggy. As Shy has said, we will be here when you return.

Posted 4/14/2008 2:13 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks nevagiveup... Me and my mom have been talking, and it never seems to help. I usually feel worse off because i always feel as if i'm a burden to my mom, being like this. I don't think she has anything that's been on her mind lately. She's just always been like this. There are days when everything is fine, we laugh a little, and such, but some days, i swear she just makes everything hell. Maybe that's just how moms are i guess. I know that parents need to discipline their children and such, but that day, and also lately, I just can seem to tolerate as much "abuse". not physical, it just seems like a tiny little thing will shove me off the edge of a cliff, anf then there i will fall for a few days until i hit bottom, and then i try to claw my way back up then everything starts over i guess.

I don't know why, but i'm extrememly hesitant about going to a counselor. I feel odd, and i guess i'm afraid that they will bring up even more things from my past that i just don't want to think about anymore. Maybe that's exactly why i'm like this... because i don't want to talk about things.. but i DO want to talk about things, just now the things that i know counselors will bring up. Like i've said before, I don't know what to do anymore except take it one day at a time... and even one day at a time is overwhelming.

It's funny. Lately, I've just been wanting someone to talk to in person, you know, to cry with, to just be there, but i look around my school, and i see a few, but when i start to get to know them, i realize they aren't going through what i'm going through. I just wish that there was someone there for me... I know i have you guys, and i really do appreciate your kind words... they really help, but just reading things online just doesn't seem to be enough. Honestly, (sorry this is so redundant, but) I don't know what to do.

Froggy

 

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