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Posted 4/30/2008 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
ok so i just joined these boards...i'm 17 and i'm really not sure if i'm depressed or not, but i just kinda feel like i need ppl to talk to, and i don't really wanna open up to anyone i know.  but for the past few months i've just been really sad and have no idea why.  i'm in my school's theatre program, and rehearsals seem to be the one place where i'm happy, and even then it's just kinda ok happy...i come home after school and i just feel so alone and sad. i cry myself to sleep (well, if i get to sleep that is), and have major periods of not eating and over-eating.  i just kinda feel like i'm not myself anymore.  i've always had major self-confidence issues, but i just really don't see much point in my life...like i'm just put here for no reason, like no one really loves or cares about me.  the weird part is i have no idea why i feel this way.  last week at school i just started crying between classes and had no idea why.  has anyone else had these feelings? any advice? anything????
Posted 4/30/2008 8:11 AM (GMT 0)
Hiya, I feel like that all the time, the smallest things in the world can make me feel sad for days on end. Sometimes I feel so hopeless!! I think you should consider getting counselling as I've felt this was since I was your age (25 now) and I'm only just starting to address my issues and work thru them, so thats like 8 wasted, sad years!!! I think you feel happy in the theatre programme as your doing something which takes your mind of how your feeling, you should try & fill you time up a little bit more - maybe start doing some sports, as they'll help you to relax and sleep!
Posted 4/30/2008 10:02 AM (GMT 0)
Definitely go see a therapist. They can do wonders for making you feel better. Its amazing when you talk out your problems how good you can feel. Hang in there.
Posted 4/30/2008 11:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hi No day

First of all welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us.

I think your best bet is to go to the Doctor,and explain these things to them. At that time they will give you a physical and can go from there.

Also, being 17,there are so many changes in your life right now,including your body/hormones... This is something that they can help you with.

Talk to your parents,and even print this out your post so that you don't forget anything.
We have alot of teens on our site that will be able to relate to you also.

Keep talking and let us know how you are doing.
Posted 5/1/2008 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
thanks for the advice...maybe i will try to find a therapist...we do have one at my school, but that really just doesn't seem private enough for me.

confused - thanks for the idea of joining a sport or something...as much as i'd love to do that tho, when i'm not in rehearsals i usually have to be home studying and doing homework, so it's really hard to find time to do anything else.
Posted 5/1/2008 2:21 AM (GMT 0)
Hello NoDay,

I have the same problem, and I have for 11 months now. I am 16 so I can probably relate a little more. I understand what you are explaining, and it does sound like you are depressed. You mentioned a school therapist, why is it not private enough? I talk to my school counselor... it pretty private. they arent aloud to say anything about what you talk about unless they feel you will harm yourself or someone else. Its normally pretty confidential. But, its ok if you dont feel comfortable! I totally understand! I think you should try talking to your parents first and then see about going to the doctor.

Hopefully this wont be a problem for you, as it has been for me. Your doctor will be able to help you and probably send you in the direction of a good therapist!

Anyways, if you ever want to talk, Im here for you. I am on alot... you can email or IM me if you wish. I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone and that I understand how you feel! Also, you said like me, home studying and doing homework... except for the rehearal part! I dont do that! Too scared! lol But, I understand not having time for things...or maybe Im just lazy.... no, I just have a hard time with sports because of my Fibro so... I would love to play sports! lol Sorry rambling on.. I hope you get some results and take care!
Posted 5/1/2008 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
haha thanks tennis...and yea i know there's that whole confidentiallity thing w/ the school conselor...but idk her office is kinda in a pretty public area, and i just don't like the idea of ppl seeing me going in and out of there often (and i'm at a really small high school, so word travels faster than you could imagine). i just kinda feel i have an easier time talking to ppl who i don't know, or even more importantly, who don't know the ppl i know. just makes me feel like my life's kept more secure.
Posted 5/3/2008 3:43 PM (GMT 0)
Eej No Day!

I am 18 now, and like you I had a hard time talking to people I know. I felt more comfortable telling it online. Do you have the slightest idea what could be the cause of your downs (what is it that causes your insecurity)?

If you want to talk to someone you don't know, I am here. You might want to read my thread (https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=19&m=1104353), we might suffer from the same sort of depression. I can tell you I got out of it pretty fast thanks to a new way of thinking. It might help you too.

Take care, and keep posting, it can help you a lot!
Posted 5/5/2008 8:59 AM (GMT 0)
enwayen -

wow just read your post...and basically every word is EXACTLY how i've been feeling. i think my downs may have been kinda a combination of a few things: i have a younger sister who's insanely arrogant and really thinks she's god's gift to this earth. her arrogance has lowered my self-confidence over the years, i think, and it doesn't help that my parents pay more attention to her than me. also my parents divorced when i was really young, but i think i've never really talked about it since i was only 3 when it happened. there's also been a few times this year where i kinda felt like my friends were excluding me...i talked to them and i guess it was just a misunderstanding, but i think it just hurt more w/ everything else on my mind.

i actually finally talked to one of my friends on friday (she kinda forced it out of me) and it made me feel a lot better. like i actually haven't cried since then (a miracle for me).

but wut you were saying about never being loved and stuff...i totally have that feeling. i've never had a guy ever really like or love me, and i guess i just figured it's b/c i'm ugly and boring and convinced myself that no guy could ever actually like me.

i talked to my mom about getting some professional help, so i think we're gunna try to find someone outside of my school that i can talk to.
Posted 5/5/2008 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Noday,

I am sorry that you feel so bad about yourself, but keep in mind that is what depression does for us. Everybody is beautiful and special. So don't compare yourself to your sister. You should never compare yourself to others, this only can cause you to be vain or bitter. We are all different and beautiful in our own way. You just need some confidence.

I am glad that you are seeking help. This will do wonders for you. You have the one on one conversation with a professional who will be totally objective in this matter.

Keep up the good work and keep posting. Let us know how everything goes.

hugs, Karen
Posted 5/5/2008 11:19 PM (GMT 0)
Eej,

I just got hit by a black cloud, so I have to take back my words of being better.

Karen says it just right, everone is a special individual, and that is what makes things more fun and more complicated.

I am sorry for keeping it so short, but it is 1 AM here and I feel pretty bad, but I would like you know that if you ever need someone to talk to, I will try my very best to be there.

All the best!
Posted 5/6/2008 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
thanks. yea i try to not see myself as ugly, but it's just really hard for me...and i actually thought things were getting better, but i had another kinda bad day today. i mean i've had far worse, but it wasnt exactly my greatest day, to say the least.
Posted 5/6/2008 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
What made it a not so good day? What would you have liked to have been different that would have made it better?

We all do have so so days, where nothing is very exciting. But I think, a lot of it is how we are feeling about things, not necessarily what happened. I think that it is in our expectations. Of what the day could bring, and a lot of times they become too high. Then we need to look for the little things that we can be happy about.

I hope tomorrow is better,
hugs, Karen
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