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SOMETHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT

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Posted 5/1/2008 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I found out something today that absolutely has gotten me quite frightened.  On Tuesday the drugstore a house over from mine was robbed at knife-point.  I had known about the robbery but did not know about a weapon being used.  Fortunately noone was injured but here is the scariest part of all.  I went out back and my neighbor came over and said, where were you Tuesday?  That was the day I went for my interview.  Anyway apparently the two thieves were actually parked in my back yard!  They apparently staked out the pharmacy from my backyard that morning!

 

When they were caught they were getting into their car and in their haste, tore up my grass with trying to get traction to pull away.  Apparently the police and task force officers were all over my yard looking for evidence.  My neighbor said that they knocked on my door several times and were going to gain entry until they realized my car was not there.  Alot of things went through my head like what if they would have come to my house and what could have happened.

 

I have to tell you guys not alot creeps me out but I will tell you that I will be nervous for awhile.  I was sitting here thinking how close something bad came to me then I remembered something else.  On Tuesday my friend and I went to my interview and then shopping.  We were about to get on the highway to go home and I had to stop and get gas.  Apparently on the same highway we were on just about a mile down, there was a terrible accident.  Thinking back to that time and day, I really get scared.  Then I find out yesterday that a woman had been killed in that accident!

 

I dont know if I feel fortunate or fear impending misfortune.  But then I remembered that I live with the doom everyday why should anything change.

 

Well going back out to do yard work.

Posted 5/1/2008 8:32 PM (GMT 0)

I faithfully, Wow! It sounds like you have had some really close calls.  It is quite scary when you know of something horrific that has happened close to you, as you have.  I always think nothing surprises me anymore but then there is another terrible story about how mankind has hurt another and it just shocks me.

I dont know...I would almost have to think you were very fortunate to not have been around or involved in either one of those incidents.  If you really think about it...there are probley dangers everyday that we could be in or that we come close to and never realize it.  Perhaps it is God's protection?

Posted 5/1/2008 9:43 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa

Someone is looking out for you that is for sure!

I understand you being scared,but I would also be VERY thankful!
Posted 5/2/2008 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks you guys for caring words:)

 

I actually took a walk tonight to the drugstore up the street.  I was feeling depressed and lonely so I took a walk. It did feel good to get some fresh air, although I seem to work in my yard all the time.  My neighbor, janet actually gave me some mulch today, remember I couldnt afford it.  Miracles!!!  It is the red mulch and all I had to do was rake it up and get it to my flower bed, it does look pretty.

 

I also want to thank you guys for your prayers.  In all the darkness and lonliness I saw someone tonight that I have missed so very much.  He is the most beautiful thing in the world to me and how I yearned for him to come back.  He looked absolutely gorgeous in his garb!!!!  It made me ......well.....  The gladness I felt is unexplainable and proves to me that just seeing him makes me giddy like a young girl, For that glimpse, I am thankful!!!

 

I should hear about my job tomorrow.

 

A long weekend ahead and being hired by this center will make it worth celebrating!!!

Posted 5/2/2008 2:01 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Teresa,

You sound like you are on cloud nine, I am happy for you.

I am also glad that you got some mulch.

hugs, Karen
Posted 5/2/2008 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
hI Teresa , working in my garden has been a godsend to me , getting your hands dirty in the nice warm soil , nothing makes me lose my depression faster than that . I do all the yard work here , mow my lawn , planting veggies ( its finally warming enough for me to do that . hubby is bring in mulch and will be tilling my garden this week-end then I can go out and start planting . We have such a short growing season here . But tulips have finally started blooming and I pick them and put them all over my home . Been a long depressing winter .

I do believe God is watching over you , like is does to all of us , just keep the faith !!!

hugs Megie
Posted 5/2/2008 10:34 AM (GMT 0)
Good Luck Teresa
I hope they call you and you get the job... I will have my fingers crossed for you!
Posted 5/2/2008 12:45 PM (GMT 0)

Hiya,

Sounds like someone was looking after you on Tuesday! My guess is that the theives saw that you were not in and that was why they chose your back yard. Had you been in, I guess they would have used someone elses! I think its mighty inconsiderate that they tore up your lawn after all the hard work you have put in! I really hope you get this job that you are after and that you can start to get things back on track.

Darren

Posted 5/2/2008 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa,

It does sound like somebody was looking after you that day. You can count your blessings there.

I hope that you get the job too. You need that, something different to do. It makes us feel good to be productive.

Good luck,

hugs, Karen
Posted 5/2/2008 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
Hi,

It is almost 3pm and I have not heard about the job, that doesnt look good.  Oh well another thing to make me feel less that a person.  I thought I might get it and it would make for a good weekend with something to look forward too but of course not, why do I get my hopes up for anything, no matter how hard I try, I never get to where I want to be.

 

If something changes, you guys will be the first too know.  It looks like it is going to rain all weekend, GREAT, just what I need to help out with the blues.

Posted 5/3/2008 1:13 AM (GMT 0)
Well, I called the person that interviewed me and she said that unfortunately they could not make a decision and would have one by Monday.  Of course the realistic Teresa view of this is that I was the one not hired and she didnt want to tell me.  She neither gave me a positive or negative reaction to my question, we will see.

 

I have to say something.  I am missing someone so much that it hurts me.  I just wish I could get a visit just so I could tell him all the things that are going on in my life, show off the great landscaping I did because I used to make the yard look pretty when we lived together.  I often wonder if the roses we planted (that was so fun) still bloom and if he ever thinks of the time we planted all of them.  I miss him so much and dont think I will ever feel less than I  have always felt when I see him, I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!!

 

Well I will not know anything until Monday, keep your fingers crossed.

Posted 5/3/2008 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
Will do Teresa,

Good luck. I hoope so much that you get that job. Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

hugs, Karen
Posted 5/3/2008 10:04 AM (GMT 0)

You could always look at it from the point of view that you are still in the running for the job... there is 1 space and they cant decide between you and another candidate which would mean you are just as good as they are. I have my fingers crossed for you... I know how much this means to you.

Darren

Posted 5/3/2008 2:49 PM (GMT 0)
I wish I had the positive thoughts that you guys do about this job.  I dont know call it sixth sense but I really dont think I got it, I hooe that I am wrong,

It is ugly here rain and clouds.  Just the stuff days that make you depressed are made of.  My friend is coming over today and I am going with her so that she can get a tattoo.  At least that will get me out of the house.

 

Anyway, gonna go take a nap.

Posted 5/3/2008 10:37 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa

I wish we lived closer by, I would just go over and give you a hug.
Posted 5/3/2008 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa,

I hope that getting out of the house did you good. How did your friends tattoo come out? Did you get one too?

hugs, Karen
Posted 5/4/2008 2:05 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Teresa,
Thanks for posting about your worries about the job and the blessings bestowed on you on Tuesday. My husband says the same things about job searching and his feelings when he is not the one picked. It is so hard on him and then on all of us. Knowing you have the same issues, makes me realize it is all pretty normal and not to worry, just to keep picking him up.
It is easy to lose sight of the good things when there is a really BAD thing hanging round. Reading about how you were kept safe and the mulch coming up free of charge reminds me that there is good. And somehow the one who is keeping the good coming while we are battling a war with the bad will eventually take care of the bad thing that looms large in our lives.
I find that it is easier to look into someone elses life and see the good than mine. So I can see your blessings. Time to go and count mine.
Lynne
Posted 5/5/2008 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
Shy,

You have been such a wonderful friend to me that I also wish we lived close to each other because I am sure you have days where you need the same support I do.  Maybe one day it may be possible for us to meet:)

And the rest of you are also Godsends!!!!

I got up early this morning and went to a couple stores to get a few things to get my house looking good.  I painted the outside concrete where the old paint had worn off, it does look so much better already.  I got a little cheap table because I couldnt afford the set I wanted.  I sat on the porch with my glass of wine and put a coat of paint on it.  Tomorrow I am going to stencil it.  Just keeping really busy.  I was making my friend her birthday gift and I ran across a picture of me sleeping.  It was taken on our way back from Geneva on the lake and I had this little sparkling tiara on that I just had to have, you would not believe the tears.

 

My friend didnt get her tattoo, she was undecided so we are going back another day.  Well pretty tired tonight.  Keeping busy is getting very difficult for me.

 

I should hear about my job tomorrow.

Posted 5/5/2008 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
I am so excited Teresa about your job. I can't hardly wait for tomorrow. I really am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Let us know what happens. I am glad that you are staying busy. It is good for you. Sounds like you have quite a few projects that you have been working on.

Keep us posted
hugs, Karen
Posted 5/5/2008 10:39 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Teresa

I too find myself having a glass of wine and doing a project,it is nice and relaxing that is for sure.

I will be thinking about you today,I so hope they call with good news!
Posted 5/6/2008 1:21 AM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

Didnt hear from the job today so I figure that I was not hired.  Didnt I tell you?  On to another let down.

 

My friend came over today and I gave her a present that I made.  The last one I made similar to this one was made around two years ago for someone that I loved and will continue to love for the rest of my life.  I dont know why it is so hard to break free from him.  There is noone that I feel can take his place.  I find myself in control of my life as I never have.  I guess that  all my good intentions that I have now will benefit any relationship I would have.  I just find myself being uncaring whether a relationship happens for me.  As I said before, I am not letting any thing intimate get in my way, I think that is why I am alone. You know I dont care.  It is funny because intimacy is the last thing I want.  I crave W too bad and that is what is killing me because I want him so bad. 

 

Not a great day but another day I could work on my house.

Posted 5/6/2008 10:05 AM (GMT 0)

Hiya,

Were they supposed to ring you? It might be worth ringing them to check one way or the other (But only if they were supposed to ring you). I know that you still want W and that you are having a hard time letting him go. Since I have never had a relationship I cant really say I know what it feels like but I think distracting yourself with gardening etc... is definately a good thing.

Darren

Posted 5/6/2008 11:25 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with Darren,I would call them. At least then you know and are not left waiting around.

I think it is rude when they don't call you either way.
Posted 5/6/2008 1:41 PM (GMT 0)
I am getting ready to go outside and work on my yard.

 

As far as the job, I called them on Friday and she said that they would definately have a decision then.  I didnt hear from them and refuse to call back again.  I feel I made the effort to call on Friday and that it is totally unprofessional for them to not even call me back!  I just understand why I am having a hard time getting positions.  I used to ba able to choose which one I wanted from a handful of offers.

 

I am just discouraged because it just seems like everything I am doing right now is not worth it.  My relationships with people are meaningless because of nothing more than being friends AND THAT IT ALL!!  It is sad because it just seems like that it the jest of it.  I have been called names like frigid and tease from many people and you know I dont care, I feel better about myself in the long run, I dont care about it, my heart is still with only one person and after all the stupidy and untruthfulness that took me away from that person is the very thing that I vow to my own self never to live by anymore.  I am finally seeing the quality of people there are in this world.

 

Still dealing with the car issue, I just wish I had someone to stick up for me because I am getting weak and ready to just ive up.

 

I am just really tired.

Posted 5/6/2008 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
Teresa,

You have such a kind heart. I hope that you don't become cynical with life.

I would listen to Darren and call that place one more time, just so you know what is going on. I think that would relieve your mind.

I can just imagine how your yard is looking. I bet it is beautiful. You have worked so hard on it. What kind of flowers do you have? Did you plant new ones too? I am a huge flower lover. I use to have a floral shop and a plant nursery until I got fibromyalgia and couldn't do it anymore. I still have flowers around my yard but they are overridden with grass. I haven't felt up to weeding them. But they say may all your weeds be wildflowers. I always loved that saying.

I hope your day is nice today. We have rain, but we need it.

Take care,
hugs, Karen
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