Does not matter!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs too Dark,

sorry can't be helpful hun. Not knowing much about you, don't know what too say.

My ears are here if you need someone too listen though.

Gem x

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, Hoping. I'm having similar thoughts lately I think, though I do not know what you're going through I can share my feelings I guess...

Lately I've been stressed thinking about bills, debt, life, etc... And I get to thinking "WHAT is the point of all this? I wake up, I go to work, I get paid, I pay bills, I'm broke, I get into credit card debt, I can only make minimum payments and I'll never get it paid off. What if I can't pay all my bills? What if I can't get the things we need? What if something unforseen happens and I can't afford it. And if things are like this now, how in the world will I ever afford a child or a house or anything that I want to do in the future?" It feels like life is just all downhill once you're an adult and I feel like every day I wake up and every day things just get worse and I'm just digging myself in this hole that I'm afraid I'll never get out of. And I have measly credit card debt compared to the average american but to a 23 year old who isn't making that much, $3,500 is a lot, with electric, rent, car insurance, water, garbage, internet/cable, health insurance, cell phone, and just thinking about what next month makes me feel panicked and hopeless.

I feel like sometimes my life isn't at all going how I hoped it would and every day that goes by is one less day to change things and it's all falling apart and not into place like it should.

I just keep telling myself that there's still time and I think how there are so many people out there who have it so much worse off than me, like 10's of thousands of dollars of debt, or whatever, and that if I just keep trying and hoping things will get better. And I suppose there's no way to know unless I Just hang in there and see.

I don't know, this wasn't helpful, sorry.

My Dear Friend Dark,  It does matter and you know it does as I am your friend and you matter.  You have worked through this before and we can help you do it again.

I do know the pain you are feeling, you know I do as my son died in car accident and I thought nothing in life would ever matter again, but that is not true.  You are strong and right now your down in the dark hole but look up and see that tiny light............it is us all holding candles to guide you back up into the sunlight.

I have a feeling you may feel better if you go to the coast and watch for whales.

If you are feeling really awful, you go to the ER or call 911. 

But please understand me,  It does matter to me what happens to you.  Email me, you know nothing you say will cause me to judge you.

Many gentle hugs to a special friend.

Love

Kitt

Lisa,

Glad to hear I'm not alone! I feel so stupid for letting it get like this when I'm so young, but then I made the choice/mistake of moving out to Iowa and away from my parents and that's where I racked up all the debt because it was my first time living on my own and I just wasn't ready for it I guess. And then people at work make it worse because well I work in a hospital so a lot of them are making a lot of money and they're just like "We have no debt, my wife is an accountant" or "Yeah I spent like $3000 re-doing my house but then we just paid off the credit card and then I went back and got more stuff" or the people who are like "Oh... Thursday was payday?? Wow I didn't even realize!" Arrrghh. I feel like all I do is think about bills and budget and when I should pay this bill and how I will do this and what if it's more than I expect then what?? It'd be nice to not even have to worry how much is in my account and know everything would be taken care of. It's even worse when people give this idea that you have to have a large "nest egg" and a nice big house before starting a family because I fear I will NEVER have that and then what kind of person would I be to bring a child into the world when I worry about paying the electric bill? But I want a child someday more than anything in the world.


Anyways.

Dark... I read your post from yesterday just now and now I see why you feel you are falling.
It seems you're blaming yourself for things your ex is doing and you shouldn't!! You have no control over them and you can't stay with someone who doesn't make you happy just because you're afraid of what they will do. You had no idea they would act so immaturely and I hope you can get some help in getting this person to leave you alone. Please don't let them ruin your life, you knew what needed to be done and you did it and that shows you are a strong, intelligent person.
You are NOT pathetic, and I hope you are able to get this situation to rest. And please don't feel afraid to post here, no matter how negative. NO ONE will think bad of you!!!!

Dark

What is going on?..please talk to us,use our emails if needed.

I am at work until 5pm my time,but will check my email as soon as I get home.

Dear Dark,

Talk to me you know I am a good listener.  Talk to one of us or all of us but talk hun.  I wish I could sit beside you and watch for whales. How wonderful that sounds.

Please respond.

Hugs

Kitt

Good Morning Dark,

So glad to hear you are ok and know how much we care.
Gentle Hugs

Kitt

(((( Dark ))))

Thinking of you . would be great to hear from you .

dejavu

Good Morning

I dont usually post here, but as I suffer from depression, just thought I would add my 2 cents worth.

Like so many of you, I was in a downward spiral too when I was in my 20's.  I know that feeling of living hand to mouth very well.

Today is hard, everything is so expensive, I mean really expensive.  My money woes, and life in general felt like, "what the hell is this? life?"  I wasnt living, I was existing, and I see that very thing in many of you.  Can you not go to your bank and talk with a credit advisor?  They can help you more than you realize.  Combining your debts to one payment, taking in consideration of what you earn, and what it costs you to live.  One payment.  I dont know if you have that where you are, I hope you would consider that.  Bankrupcy is an ugly term, but can be a life saver for many.  Talking with a financial professional will help. Life is hard enough with our little depression demons looking over our shoulders, much less manage your life when you are overwhelmed with debt.

Dark, you are focusing on the bad, so much so, that you beat yourself up.  We all have our flaws, it's just human nature.  I bet there are people you know, that would be stunned at how badly you perceive yourself.  You probably have made a difference in someone elses life and dont even know it.  Like Karen said, cut up those credit cards!!!"  Go to your bank, talk to someone, and maybe they will be able to get you back on track again.

Depression is a lonely dark pit, but Kitt said it so well...that little light of hope.

((((Kitt))) I am so sorry for your loss, I lost a son too :((

Gentle hugs,

Diane  

  

Hi Dark ,

Darren is giving you good advice there . Glad to see that you are posting , hang in there .

hugs dajavu