Hiya

Heej everyone,

There are a few thing I feel like writing down. First of all, my apology's for not being around. I still read most of the posts (so in fact I am still around), but I have a hard time writing reply's.
I am, however, still doing "fine", in a way that I am not completely happy or so, but not as sad as I used to be. Instead, I am confused most of the time. Confused what to say, what not, what to do, what not, why something is, why not, etc. The usual stuff I suppose. I think its best for me now to stop making promises whether I will be there or not, since my mood can change from "eager to go" to the total opposite in no-time. Maybe some of you have experience with this kind of confusion, cause I still don't know what to do.

I also started counseling, by chat now, and next month for "real". We have this great government sponsored program that allows to have free counseling by chat. I found it after a bit of googeling, maybe there is something similar in others country's as well.

I have to eat some dinner now, I hope you are all doing great!

Erik

Hi Karen,

Thanks for your reply :). You are one remarkable lady Karen (in the best way possible).

I try to stay present for as often as I can think of it, but I can't help slipping back sometimes (which I don't blame myself for in any way though). But there are certain things that make me think. For instance, tonight there is a party of a friend of mine. Not a really close friend though. Most, if not everyone, would like me to come, but I don't feel like going atm. Now I have this conflict whether I need to put myself in the first place, or just go. And I don't think of it in this dimension only, but also in more philosophical ways. For instance, you are the only one to experience your emotions, and you should be aware of the results of your actions, and choose whatever suits you the best. On the other hand, you are the only one to experience your emotions, so you could put them aside, and try to make it better for the others.

There is always a more "abstract" way of deciding what you are going to do, and things like that can make me think for hours (especially when I try to sleep). And while thinking it is hard to stay present.

But thanks again for the reply Karen, it is funny and weird how things like that can cheer a person up so much :).

Erik

P.S: for those wondering, I think I'll stay home tonight ;)

Hi Erik

So glad that you checked in, and as you know we all understand what you are going through.

I do have a favor,can you jump into "Dark's" post and give her the info to the chat link?

She lives in Africa and does not have the resources as we do to get some help.


Thanks so much,and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Erik,

So glad to see you have checked in and that you are doing counseling by chat..........next in person.  I am proud of you and thank you for coming back here to share with us.  We miss you so know we are always here.

Hugs at ya

Kitt