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very sad and I feel trapped

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Posted 10/13/2008 7:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

A couple of years ago, my life was turned up side down by finding out that one of my parents had lied to me for  14 years about how my disability was caused. I have asked for answers but they say they will give answers one day. The parent concerned told me that it was the hospital were to blame and I would be getting a lot of money due to the this. I want to move to another area as I don't feel supported anymore by my family but I can't move. I am just becoming more and more depressed and I don't know what to do anymore. Any suggestions welcome

Thanks  

Posted 10/13/2008 10:24 PM (GMT 0)

Brum,

First of all Welcome to HealingWell.  Give us a bit more info on your disability?  What did your parents tell you had happened way back when and why are they telling you now?

I would like to see you stay in the moment and not feel angry towards anyone.  It feels to me like whatever happened has caused you to be the recipient of a settlement of some kind when you are 18 years old.

Parents try to protect their children from truths that they fear truth will cause their child great pain and perhaps this is what happened. Wait until you get the full story before you judge anyone.

Leaving your town would not be in your best interest right now, where would you go?  Would you be knee - jerking? 

Do yo have a therapist?  If not look into getting one to talk out your feelings with.

Know we are here for you and we care.

Kitt

Posted 10/14/2008 12:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitt
My maiin disability is Cerebal Palsy. When I was 8 years old I was told thst my disabliity was caused by fault with hospital equipment, but in September 2006 I found out that this was not the case and the real cause was an infection that my mum had. In the years leading up to the truth being revealed, I was told that I was going to rich soon and I was asked to help my mum and as I had no reason not to believe mum and I would give her the financial support that she required safe in the knowledge that I would be getting this finiancial support.

Due to the lies, there is no financial support at all. This has left me in a lot of debt and I don't know what to do. I am really finding it hard to trust people now. I am going to counseeling for the depression and eating issues, but I find it hard to open up.
Thanks for listening
Posted 10/14/2008 12:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell,

Can I ask how old you are? In the UK, when a person turns 18, they are legally entitled to see any information which has been recorded about them (Including Hospital/Medical records). Do you have a similar system in the US? We call it Freedom of Information I think.

I think you need to talk to your parents openly and honestly about the way this is affecting you and the course of your life. This is something that you can work on with your councillor.

Please keep talking to us... a problem shared, is a problem halved

Darren
Posted 10/14/2008 2:40 PM (GMT 0)
Brum 29

If I understand this your Mother lied to you by telling you that you had settlement funds from a lawsuit against the hospital and at a certain age you would have access to this money. Therefor, you willing gave her your money and obviously went into debt for her.

Darren is right................ you have the right to see your own medical records at a certain age.

I understand your trust issues. Please do talk with your counselor re this event and how best to deal with your feelings.

You have our support.

Kitt

Posted 10/14/2008 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
I understand having trust issues - I've had a lot of problems with trust myself - but this counselor - he/she is there to help you. You have already trusted them a little by going in the first place. You do have all of our support and you should open up to this person because he will be able to help you in many ways, I'm sure. By opening up a little I think it will really make you feel less trapped.
Posted 10/14/2008 10:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi. Thank you for all your advice. I have considered getting my medical records as I do need to know the truth once and for all, but I am really worried that there may be something that I am not expecting within them and I don't think I can deal with that right now.

I am 24 now so I will be able to obtain them. It is the Freedom of Information Act in the UK I need to find out what really happened as it is affecting everything in my life. I will keep you posted.
Thanks again
Brum 29
Posted 12/7/2008 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
Just a quick update, I am now going to get my medical records. It should take about 40 days. The way I am looking at it is this- once I know the truth I can start to move forward.
Brum 29
Posted 12/7/2008 4:00 AM (GMT 0)
Brum,

I am sorry that this happened to you. I am sorry that your mom lied to you. Once you know the truth, accept it and then move on. You have to for your own sake. I hope that it is nothing really bad.

Either way, we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/7/2008 4:28 PM (GMT 0)

Brum,

Good to hear from you and I agree with Karen 100%.  Once you learn the truth it is better to deal with it and move on.

Remember you cannot change the past so stay in the moment and take care of you.

Kitt

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