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Posted 10/28/2008 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
I feel so depressed, and I have no one to talk to, I feel like my life is coming to an end, no matter what I do, things will never change, I just want to check out, but I am so scared to even do that, I feel stuck in this place with no way out.   I am so scared and I have no where to turn. I am a single mother of two boys, one of which is extremely hard to deal with, and can't get help with him no matter what I do. He is 15 years old, very abusive to me, punches holes in the walls at home, very out of control, he has literally tried to harm me twice, once by drugging me, and twice by setting my house on fire with me in it. He won't stay in school, he is either kicked out all the time, or refuses to go, he says he is in a gang, throws up gang signs all the time, he is on drugs bad, I have called the cops on him numerous time, nothing, he isn't old enough for a boot camp, he knows he gets by with it all and will not stop, he cusses and yells at me constantly, just will not give up, I am so scared of him. I go to church, but can't take him with me cause he cusses out my pastor and calls her name, he is very disrespectful, he has two court cases, but of which he just got community service for which is no big deal to him. He laughs about it. One is a drug charge, the other is disorderly conduct  I can't get help, I am trying to go to school full time to a community college to get my RN degree, this is so hard for me to do. I just want to give up, I am about to just own life, so I don't have to deal with all this stuff any more. Who can I talk to? where do I go from here, I am so scared right now! Never been on a site like this before, but I am getting desperate.

Edit: I am sorry but I edited your post for content.  We have members as young as 13 on this forum. 1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Thanks

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/28/2008 9:03:42 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/28/2008 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Welcome to healing well. I am so happy that you found us. I have some resources for you that might help.

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com

Another great resource by S.A.F.E (self abuse finally ends) Alternatives

http://www.selfinjury.com/index.html

I hope that this will help you some.  I can see that you are going through a lot.  Your son really needs some help.  How long has he been this way?  This must really be hard on you.  Hopefully somebody can intervene and get him the help that he needs, by the sound of it, he is out of control.  I don't like where  this is sounding like it is headed. 

Are you going to any counseling?  I think that you need the help and the support.  I hope that you will consider going if you aren't already.  In the meantime we are here for you.  Keep posting and let us know how things are going.

I am sorry that I had to edit your post, but it was a little too discriptive and we have young adults on here the age of thirteen, so we have to really be careful of what we say.  Other than that, I am truly sorry for what you are going through.  Try to be kind to yourself, you are having a hard enough time, so try to stop hurting yourself.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 10/28/2008 2:52 AM (GMT 0)
I do have a counselor, I see her weekly, but I have a really hard time talking, I am so shy and can never get out my true feelings. I was there At the S.A.F.E. program for 30 days, about 3 years ago. Wish I could go back, but I can't, too hard to find a sitter, and my schooling makes it difficult. I just can't stop crying, I am scared to call for help, I just can't talk like in person or on the phone, It is easier for me to just write my feeling down.
Posted 10/28/2008 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
I find it easier to write also. I have a hard time talking to people face to face and on the phone. But there are times that we really have to try and open up. I know that it makes you feel vulnerable, but at least you are feeling something without hurting yourself.

Take advantage of your counselor. They are there for you. Does she know about your self harm? I really think that you should talk to them about it. They are professionals and that would help you so much. Do you talk about your son's actions? You really need to get that off of your chest. So try to open up. And remember that we are here for you.

Hugs,
Karen
Posted 10/30/2008 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
Do you have a behaveral health center that you could send him to?If you need to talk to some one you can click on my E-Mail on the left of my name.
Posted 10/31/2008 3:40 PM (GMT 0)

Good Morning,

I know how hard it is to call a stranger and say "I need help". You know the next thing you will hear is "tell me what is going on?"

That is where I lose it as I don't know and if I did know then I could maybe fix it. Remember the people manning the crisis lines are dealing with this kind of call every day and if you cry, they are used to it.  Please don't be afraid, we are all here to support you.

Gentle Hugs
Kitt

Posted 10/31/2008 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you are going through so much. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Posted 11/3/2008 6:53 AM (GMT 0)
I would really like to talk to you about things that we can`t say on this site.I have been there done that don`t want anyone else to try.So if you would like to talk just send me a E-Mail.Click on the envelope next to my name.
Posted 11/3/2008 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
I tried to send you an e-mail, but for some reason couldn't, I don't know what I am doing wrong on here! It said no e-mail address or something like that! Are we allowed to put are e-mail address on here, or can you send me an e-mail. Not real good with the computer stuff!
Posted 11/4/2008 1:32 AM (GMT 0)
Babygurl,

You can add your email address to your profile and that way she can get it from you. They kind of frown about posting them on the forum, because non members can read them.

If you click on your name, it will take you to your profile.

Good luck, if you have anymore questions, let me know.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/4/2008 1:51 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you!
Posted 1/2/2009 4:27 AM (GMT 0)
Take steps towards learning to speak your mind and talk about how you feel. I dont know about your self harm, but I can tell you that its not worth it and thats a step you need to take. You have to discipline yourself in a way.

We are all here for you. Talk it out. Vent all you need to, its important that you dont bottle stuff up.... and I know we will all help you as much as we can. Take advantage of that counselor. Without thinking try to say a few things that you need to get out. She will help you. holding back isnt the way to go.... I know that for sure... Talking is a great thing.

As for your son, I cant imagine having to go through that. I could have my hair pulled out. You should send him to a special school. I had a friend who was like you son...he was about 13 at the time when his dad decided he couldnt put up with it and needed to do something with him. He sent him to some place in Kentucky. They were very strict and had to work and everything... when he came back he was better. more respectful and less "in trouble". Im sure there are different things. And I dont know about anything like that financially, but I would consider looking into it. Maybe ask the judge to see what he can do with him. He may have suggests?

Anyways, I dont know, thats just what I know, but I cant blame you for feeling the way you do. Going to school is hard enough, but having your kid act like that is extremely upsetting and stressful, Im sure.

I hope you will continue to come here, we encourage venting, its good for ya! But, we are here for you when you need us... take care
Posted 1/6/2009 12:28 PM (GMT 0)

Hey, I'm very sorry to hear about your plight.  And I have been there.  My oldest son was the perfect child, but my youngest son was a holy terror.  He was all the time getting suspended from school for fighting, not doing his homework, talking back to the teacher, etc.  He and I had to go to court because he missed too many school days.  I explained to the judge what was going on and asked him to please help me.  The judge ended up ordering him to take counseling and I started taking him to a psychiatrist for his behavioral problems.  As it turned out, my son had ADHD and was suffering from anxiety and depression.  The ADHD he most likely inherited from his dad and the anxiety and depression he most likely inherited from me.

Anyway, my son has been on medication for his behavioral problems and it seems to have helped.  He no longer has to take counseling but that helped, too.  Your son might possibly suffer from the same problems or he could be bipolar.  If you have insurance, I suggest taking him to see a psychiatrist.  If anything, when your son has to go back to court, explain to the judge what has been going on and ask him to please help you.  You'll be surprised to find that the courts will sometimes step in and try to help.  Most judges are sympathetic and willing to help mothers in distress.  Good luck and keep us up to date about your situation.  We are here to help you the best we can so stay strong.  God bless.

Linda 

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