Hi Glen,
I am very concerned about you at this time. I think that you should talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. That is very important and I think that your doctor could help you at this point.
Here are some resources just in case you need them.
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.
Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)
Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)
SuicidalTeens.com
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I really hope that you feel better soon. You are going through a lot right now, and I think that you could use some extra help. So please call your doctor and let them know how you are feeling.
And know that we really do care about you.
Hugs, Karen