Hello friends. I too am dealing with marital discord. My wife (of almost 15 years) and I have four small children. We both work out of the home and have very busy schedules. My wifes job is very, very demanding and she is very, very passionate for what she does. Unfortunately for her, job success has been trying to say the least. She took this job approximately 4 years ago right before the birth of our fourth and over this time I have seen more of her time being spent outside the home. about a 1 1/2 ago I approached her about her lack of attention to our relationship to no real avail. 6 months later I approached the subject again to her saying, "I don't know what's wrong with me". Then about 6 months ago I once again questioned and it finally clicked the switch. She told me she was unhappy, disinterested, not "in love", and wondering if she wanted to be married. Over this time she has gone through stages of new habits, withdrawing, as well as other changes. In response, "stupid me" I have tried to fix this in every way I can find, with no success. I've tried rigid self-analysis, tried to be an "in house consultant, and have tried to take the blame for everything also with no success. I'm obsessed in finding the source of the discord and only now realizing that it is impossible. My wife a fierce competitor also has a mental health background and believes depression only exists in the form of "rolling" up in a little ball and crying ( I know this because when it happened, temporarily I might add, she admitted to it), but for the most part just believes she is unhappy with her marriage. Over the last 6 months she has developed the inability to eat (wants to throw up after consumption) and as a result has lost 20lbs she didn't need to lose (not just an opinion). She comes to bed late at night as an avoidance technique so " I don't give you the false sense of hope that everything is fine". She accuses me of being a "court recorder" of the terrible things she has said to me when I bring them up (also stupid me). This woman remembers every detail of every bad thing that I have done, but now she either doesn't recall saying these awful things or says I have taken them the wrong way. She won't communicate with me about the relationship, like she's struggling with what to say, but she says she "doesn't know what she wants", and " doesn't know what we should do". She has a dim sight of our future together and is concerned I am going to hate her if things don't work out. In one conversation (rolled ball, crying), she told me I treat her so good, I don't deserve this, and she wishes I would find someone. This is not my wife! I am a lost soul! Only recently have I realized my codependency issues and my desire to control the situation. Like Figlet has stated, I realize I need to work on myself and my other relationships (children, family) but find this difficult, because she has made me her "beckon call" boy for all these years. I know that marital discord has been upon us for quite some time, but these changes indicate something much bigger. Our marital counselor has suggested that she is struggling with things outside our relationship and she needs time to work through them, but in the meantime that I need to work on myself. I don't know what this is going to look like on the other side, but reading these posts help me cope. I read something recently in the Purpose Drive Life that has helped as well. From James, "Let the process go until your endurance fully develops, so that you will become men of mature character, with no weak spots". For now, I'm trying to to give my life to God, and praying he will guide me through this.