Anxiety re Boyfriend

Hi Guys! Not been here in a while! Right... I had/have this new boyfriend of 6 weeks. But I am driving the relationship apart as I can't stop getting paranoid about him cheating on me... (Everyone of my previous relationships has cheated on my with their ex's, or my best friends! Thats 7 people!) I've never been in a relationship where I haven't been cheated on or messed around and becuase of this... I can't help but get so paraniod, and depressed, and make myself sick with worry to think that my new boyfriend is now going to be just the same!!! Even though ALL of his friends have said he's not like that, he has said it... and even I know it... He is different... I am the one and only girl that he has ever been serious about,I can't loose him! When my mum died, I thought my world was over... but with this guy, he has filled the hole in my heart that my mum left when she passed away 6 1/2 years ago... but because of my paranoia that empty space that he filled, is slowly starting to rip open again! I can't let this stupid paranoia and depression etc destroy my relationship with him! (whats left of it anyway!) I couldn't take it if I did loose him 100% for good! It would be like loosing mum all over again and I can't cope with that... even just the thought of it!!! I need to stop this paranoia for good! NOW! Before the hole it my heart gets ripped open anymore! Does anyone have any advise I could use to stop myself from driving him away! More than I already have so far! Thanks! Love Princess! x <3 x

Princess, I edited this duplicate post as per notation in the A & P Forum. We have members as young as 13 on the boards.  Sorry.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 6/1/2009 7:40:39 AM (GMT-6)

Princess,

You have some responses to your post in A & P. 

Kitt

Hi Princess,

Sometimes I feel how you feel, paranoid about my relationship - however you shouldn't judge your boyfriend based on previous relationships, Everyone is different.  Judge him by what you know about him and how he has treated you. 

However also I don't think your relationship should be so sonsuming the way that yours sounds, I think you need to develop your own identity outside your relationship and be independant. 6 weeks is such a short time to be thinking things such as -" I couldn't take it if I did loose him 100% for good! It would be like loosing mum all over again and I can't cope with that... even just the thought of it!!! "  I think you need to learn to be yourself and love yourself more, i feel that your falling in love with someone that you hardly know!

but thats just my opinion I guess, not meaning to be harsh.

Li

thanks guys! and Confusedli, I understand where you are coming from! We ain't together anymore... I pushed it too far and lost him but my aim in life now is to get it back on track, not for anoyone other than myself! I can't stand so many things about me (my body, the way I look, my lack of confidence, paranoia about people talking about me, even if they just give me a side glance in the street, just EVERYTHING!) But I think now I have relised (even though I have known it before mum died and ever since) that how can I be happy in a relationship/friendship, if i'm not happy with myself and who I am! Thats why I need to consantrat on me now! Get MY life on track for ME and ONLY ME! Okay, yeah, it's probably going to take me the rest of my life to be happy with myself but until then, there is no point with anything because if i'm not happy and confortable with myself and who I am, then how can I be confortable and happy with anything/anyone else! Thanks for your help everyone! Means so much! Be in touch and hope everyone is okay!!! LOVES! Thanks again!!! x x x x x x x x

Princess

Glad to read your positive post and to know you are going to work on your own feelings first before you venture out into the world of romance  again.

I think you will do fine and you have my support.

Kitt