Teresa,
When we are feeling depressed we often feel all alone, like no one in the world is there for us and we are always to blame for everything. This is not true.
It is at times like these, when we must dig deep into the inner most part of our resolve, and our will! We all have been where you are now, I have been there many times, and then some. I totally understand how you feel, the desperation, and lonliness. What you must do now, is succeed, set aside all else, and clear a path for yourself, and go for the most incredible dream of your life! What has happened in the past, will remain there, it is up to you to carve your future. You have it in you, you just don't know it now, everything is blurred by the pain and depression. But remember my friend, you are stronger than you think, and it is never too late to turn it all around!
You have friends here and in your life. Right now you are feeling upset but give yourself sometime and perhaps this friendship can be mended.
Bless you
Kitt