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Posted 7/18/2009 6:12 AM (GMT 0)
I've only posted once here because I don't like to reach out about my depression very much, mainly because I think nothing good will come from it and no-one really seems to understand. My view of life is pessimistic, I really don't enjoy much of anything, except for video games and music. I get extremely angry with games when I play them online competitively, other than that I don't spend much time doing anything. I'd say the only reason I'm alive is because I don't want my family to experience pain from me being gone. I finished high school this year but I really could care less. I don't want to do anything with My life because I have no joy or interest in doing things.

Since I have been out of high school I haven't done anything at all. I've kept myself secluded to my dark room cause thats the only place I am close to comfortable. I have had a few really good friends in the past but in the end they always moved away. I'm also overweight and fairly unhealthy leaving me tired and limited. I have never been in a relationship before, I really have never really tried either cause I'm terrified of the idea. What would someone want with a fat, depressed guy anyways, I'd just be a burden to another person. Honestly I don't even know why I am posting this, I guess I'm just bored and as usual I'm trying to pass the time.
Posted 7/18/2009 6:17 AM (GMT 0)
kpb, have you spoken with a doctor about how you're feeling?
Posted 7/18/2009 6:23 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, I have also seen 2 different counselors and have taken multiple medications. Right now I am coming off of Cymbalta because it is negatively effecting me but it did help at first. I see my doctor every few months and he has prescribed my last medication.
Posted 7/18/2009 6:30 AM (GMT 0)
Other than medicine, have you tried any other strategies to help with your depression? I'm thinking of things like good nutrition, exercise, getting out of the house every now and then... or...

(I'm not being heartless; I know it's really hard. I'd just like to know what hasn't worked for you, so we don't suggest something you already know won't help) :-)

Suggestions aside, we can just listen... you don't sound very happy there, but you are hanging on. Good for you. That's *brave*.
Posted 7/18/2009 6:38 AM (GMT 0)
I appreciate the sentiment and yes I have started to consume more nutrition, but I haven't exercised in a long time. My parents who are very supportive and caring, want me to start walking,but I just am having trouble doing good things for myself cause I am finding it hard to care with such an intense underlying apathy.
Posted 7/18/2009 6:43 AM (GMT 0)
I'm guessing it's hard, too, to start when your parents are nagging you to do it. I know how counterproductive that can be.

It seems to me that you have a couple of choices here:
a) stay the way you are, and keep on being miserable
b) try something new, on the off chance that it might work. I know this will take some courage, but the worst that can happen is that you don't feel any better and just keep feeling the same as you are. It *might* help.

Is it light outside? How about you just walk to your front gate, and then come back and tell us how you went? It's ok if you don't want to do this; I'm just chatting.

Ivy.

ps. I heard of a lady who lost lots of weight just walking to her clothesline and back, and building up from there, so it can be done in babysteps.
Posted 7/18/2009 6:53 AM (GMT 0)
I haven't completely given up on doing things, I will slowly continue to take steps in (hopefully) the right direction. I feel very alone as well, I feel am isolated from people cause they usually just don't seem to understand and all I really want is a good friend who cares...
Posted 7/18/2009 7:00 AM (GMT 0)
kpb said:

"I haven't completely given up on doing things, I will slowly continue to take steps in (hopefully) the right direction."

That's good to know, kpb. I think that's all you can do, sometimes; just hold on and hold on and keep on trying...

Yes, I think depression is very misunderstood in our society. I can only imagine how isolated you are feeling right now. The depression forum is a lovely place, and I hope you'll be able to find some friends here.

Ivy.
Posted 7/18/2009 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
Hi KPB, We care, and you can always come here to talk to us. Ivy has given you some wonderful advice....she's such a caring person. I think her suggestion about taking this in small steps, starting with a short walk outside, is really good. That is how I overcame my isolation when I was really depressed. There was a time when it was a major accomplishment for me just to walk down the road to my mail box. It does get better as you work at it, so please don't give up hope. We're here for you.
Posted 7/18/2009 4:55 PM (GMT 0)
HI KPB,

You have already gotten some very good advice. I would like to let you know that walking is so good for you. And even if you just go for five minutes, that will help. You can gradually make it longer as time goes by.

I hope that you are feelilng better as you read this. Remember that we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/18/2009 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
I know exactly how you feel. I am also very isolated, I wish I had some advice, but I really don't. I've gained a lot of weight lately too, my clothes don't fit and it's really frustrating. All I do is read and watch tv, to escape I imagine. I don't have much for family or friends, I am hoping that my meds are going to help this, but it's been so long since I've been waiting for them to kick in. I understand the darkness issue, light is hard for me to take - even so I get even more depressed in the winter when it is particularly dark - it's all so maddening. I have lost interest in everything that I used to do. I don't even shower as often and forget housework, cooking, etc. I used to be different, I used to be a go getter, get out and stay active - this depression has affected my life like nothing ever has. I look forward to nothing, I used to have dreams and goals - I hope that I will get those back and I hope that you will too. Have hope, don't give up and I'm thinking of you and completely understanding what you are going through - I can definitely empathize.
Posted 7/18/2009 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
jk1119,

Thank you for your post, you seem to be in almost the same predicament as I. It is good to hear that, in a way, I am not completely alone, that there is someone out there that faces similar sufferings. Lately I have just wanted to in which to confide, people either do not understand at all or they think they do and give you irrelevant advice that only does more damage.
Posted 7/19/2009 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
hi.
Welcome to the board. I know how you feel on a lot of levels and the despair you're feeling. I'm struggling with weight too, i was once 15stone/220lbs i think. I started with just five minute walks and got longer.
I'm slowly realising, it's small steps everday that count, somtimes, it's small steps evet minute. That'a all that's getting me through right now.
take care, stay well
keep in touch
boo
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