Making Connections

Hello Everyone,

A little about me... I have been challenged with major depression pretty much on and off my whole life. I have been working very hard in therapy to work through some painful emotions and am making progress. I am so grateful to my therapist for sticking by me. Just recently with the help of doctors I got off my antidepressants which has been tough but I am hanging in there. I am learning healthier ways to cope and finally have a consistent routine of exercise and meditation. All good steps in the right direction right?

The one area that I have been avoiding is getting close to other people. I have isolated myself, lost connection with others. I know I have avoided relationships in the past because there is a lot of pain around them but I have realized that the one thing that I am truly missing is being around people that I can be ME around. I get tired of pretending.

I have this tendencey to think because I have depression and can get over emotional that no one will really want to be around me. I know intellectually that those beliefs are not true but deep down I think I still struggle with that. I have great girlfriends but I don't get to see them nearly as much because they are married. I am still single. I almost feel like they have moved on in their own life and I have stayed stuck in this area.

So how do I start over from scratch in this situation? I am wanting to work on this way in which I can really learn to connect with others

dear cloudy, you have started the ball rolling by talking about your situation. small steps my friend, then bigger ones. hey, you self-actualisation of the problem is an excellent step. bugger them, if they are good girlfriends then tell them to visit, go for a coffee, a drink, girls night etc. keep well, good that you have a good therapist, isolating is easy-it is the not isolating that is much harder. yeah ben there. with compassion. jamie

dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Hi Thanks for all the encouragement and support. This is a very complex issue for me and it needs to be worked through. I am thinking lately that it is not that no one wants to be around me I think those are old thought patterns of how I felt within my family unit It is more trying to take and create opportunities to meet others without feeling overwhelmed or a feeling of the need to perform. I have been an over achiever most of my life and to me the connections with others more about just being just being who I am. That has been tough for me and when you have lived with old patterns like that for a long time I have tendencies to project those thoughts onto others.

I have this big fear that I am going to end up a lone but in many instances I am already there because of these old patterns I project onto others. I know first to just accept this is where I am at this point in my life and to take baby steps back into the social scene. How do I find ways to push myself without being critical and judgemental? Has anyone lost connections due to their depression and have any success stories to share about reconnecting with family and friends?