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Posted 10/3/2009 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
sad  It has been a while since I have been on this site.I have been doing pretty good with my depression problem,but it just seems like here lately it has been one thing after another with me,and I am getting tired of it.

     Starting back at the end of March,I had to go all the way up to Pittsburg,PA.,to have my rectum removed.I missed my family and friends as I was in the hospital for seven days.To me,it was the worst hospital that I have ever been in,and I have in a lot of them.Then when I got home,I was back in the Emergency Room,because they discharged me to soon.I was on TOTAL BED REST for three weeks,my husband had to wait on my hand and foot,with everything.I was to sore and hurting so bad that I could not even get out of bed to go to the bathroom.Then in June I had to have another surgery for my ankle,and my toe on the same foot.I had developed a calcium hammer toe.The doctor had to go in and shorten the bone.That toe was longer then my big toe,making all of my socks,shoes,and slippers feel to small.Then the 25th of last month,I had to have knee surgery on my right knee,as I tore both tendons on that knee,while I was putting all of weight on my left foot for just about two months.So now I am laid up again.My knee was doing pretty good,then about two days ago,it really started hurting me again.It almost feels like I have tore the muscle on the outer side of my right knee.I am also still dealing with getting my bladder taken care of.I almost forgot,I have to go in for more surgery on my right foot the 3rd of Novemeber,as I have a bone spur on the top of my foot,that is also hurting me.I feel like I just want to dig a big hole and crawl into it,and make sure that it is do deep to get out of.This has been the worst year for me that I think I have ever had as far as surgeries go.

   I sure hope the rest of you have had a better year.

   I know that all of you are all out there to listen and help,but I hope that I have not brought your spirits down with my problems.

   I thank God everyday that I have a kind,loving husband,that understands what I am going through,and yet still stands by my side.

                                                                                San's

Posted 10/4/2009 3:36 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sans,

It really has been a long time since we have heard from you. I am glad that you are most of the way done with your surgeries. You sure have a lot going on.

Don't you worry about getting us down. We are all strong and are here to support you. Together I think we are all strong. And are here for you.

Keep posting. Don't stay away so long next time. Take care.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/4/2009 6:17 AM (GMT 0)
san's, you have had some real testing moments this year. a lot of medical/surgeries. hey, i always say that there is always someone doing it tougher than me, this would be you. i admire your courage and grit in keeping going, you are a strong person. yeah you are doin' it tough, but i sense that you will come out much stronger, thus nothing is ever lost. your courage in posting this will definately aid others who will face similar experiences, me for one. you are strong, i send you strength in compassion and healing, and know that your experiences have and will keep you strong-hey after all of what you have gone through i would definately want to curl up and withdraw. keep strong in mind and faith, each new day will bring you renewed strength-and i am here for you anytime.

jamie. keep fightin'

dx, mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Posted 10/6/2009 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
You have definately had a "year". But you aren't alone. I know your pain. Almost a year ago I was perfectly healthy, never a broken bone or anything serious to speak of.(and I'm 40 now) I went to the Dr. for some pain in my back and neck to find it was MASSIVE Pulmanary Embolisms. I nearly lost my life. Spent some time in the hospital, then a grueling month at home with my sister living with me to help out. It took months and months before I felt better. As a result of the PE's I had two seizures and three TIA's (mini-strokes). After 6 months of no driving (most of the summer) I found out I had a growth in my Thyroid (cancerous looking) and a gall bladder stone the size of Texas... AND extremely bad Endometriosis where I will have to have a hystorectomy and possibly some of my bowel removed. And of course I'm now depressed. LOL (not really laughing)

I'm sinking into a hole I can't seem to get myself out of. My husband got ANGRY at me when I told him I was having trouble and thinking things I shouldn't. Then it just got worse. I truely feel alone now. His work is asking for 80 hour weeks from them and he's NEVER home. I barely see him most mornings and I'm in bed before he gets home and he works weekends. I can't ask him to be here for me....he'd never do it. Which depresses me even more. This is all new to me. I've had "funks" that I got over in a week or two, but this is so different. I know I should go see someone, but the thought of having to get dressed and go OUT, just makes me tired. I'm sick of doctors and meds and visits and medical bills. I'm just tired. So, So tired of it all.

I wanted you to know that your story made me feel better, less alone. Thanks for that.

Bree
Posted 10/6/2009 8:33 AM (GMT 0)
bree, thank you for your courage in posting. a lot for you too. hey, get dressed and talk to your doc. i am tired to, albeit your situation and others has given me some impetus to push on. so keep being brave. with healing compassion bree. jamie

dx. mdd, severe borderline personality disorder.

Posted 10/6/2009 12:22 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bree,

Welcome to the HealingWell depression forum. I am so happy that you have found us. I am sorry about your situaion. But know that you have us now to vent and get support.

If you feel like it, you are welcome to start your own thread as an introductory thread. That is if you are comfortable with it. I hope that things work out and you are feeling better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 10/10/2009 2:30 AM (GMT 0)
hi Bree how are u??? just replying to ur post. i to have had many operations,infact my last op 4 or 5 mths ago for a parastomal hernia and re-fashioning of my ileostomy and that was my 45th op. i just want to let u know that no matter what lies ahead for u, u will see a light at the end of that long tunnel. take it from a lady that know's how ur feeling. my thought's are with u alway's. good luck for ur op's. if u ever need to vent,dont hold it in and vent as much as u need 2 ok.
bye for now. rose-bud40 :))))))
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