Depression and a messy home

Warm Fuzzies,

Have you ever visited the FlyLady forum? She has a section for people who are dealing with various illnesses and disabilities, and I seem to remember that there are a few posts there by people who are dealing with depression. You might be able to find some good tips and strategies there.

Let me know if not, and I'll give you the URL.

btw, please don't feel too bad about yourself. Housework is hard with most chronic illnesses, and yes, I agree that the mess only makes us feel worse.

Ivy, feeling as if things are out of control at home herself.

Warm Fuzzies,
Hi there, this is Kitt. I have had depression many years and worked full time plus raised 4 children so it was often hard to find the energy to keep up with all of the house chores.

I tried to make a schedule and keep to it even if I had to force myself to do it. I would try to clean just one room a day instead of doing the whole house in a day. I also taught my children how to take care of their rooms, fold clothes from the laundry and always do the dishes although listening to them fight at times was not easy.

Try not to be to hard on yourself if you do not get everything done that you had hoped to each day. Also set small goals as they are much easier to achieve. Now days I have my hubby's "do honey list" and he cooperates most of the time.

Take care and know you are not alone.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Take 20 minutes everyday for a week and focus on one room in your house only. Even if it's 10 minutes, you'll feel accomplished!! And, celebrate the work you did - Post it here and we'll congratulate you! I know for me it means alot if I can call my bestfriend, tell her what I accomplished, even if it's so small, she makes a BIG DEAL of it.

Putting stress and pressure on yourself isn't good and it doesn't help you get things done around the house. Go slowly and just know that you can do this!

Oh! You might also be struggling because you're overwhelmed by how much needs to be done.

You might find it helpful to redefine your goals for the time being, and not think about getting the house clean. Sometimes the best we can do is not let things get much worse.

When I am at my worst, I sometimes set myself the small goal of putting away a couple of things whenever I get up to use the toilet or make a cup of tea. Don't even set yourself a target: if you can only put away one thing, that's fine; if you can do ten, that's fine too. I'm always surprised how those small acts of tidying mount up over a day, and usually things look a lot tidier by evening.

You can do the same thing with cleaning: if you get up to use the toilet, you might be able to take an extra two minutes to clean the bathroom sink before you go back to bed... then next time, you might be able to quickly sweep a floor or dust a shelf or put on a load of washing or whatever. Once again, you really will be surprised at what a difference this makes.

Remember, the trick is not to let these random little acts of cleaning and tidying become a chore, or become mandatory. If you do that, you'll become overwhelmed and then stop. Just do as much as you feel you can, and be patient and gentle with yourself.

Remember, the mess is not a reflection on you; it's a perfectly understandable indication of how sick you've been. You're still convalescing, and I think you're allowed to keep being gentle on yourself while you heal .

Ivy.

I am the queen bee of mess. My space reflects the chaos in my life, holding it all together bit by bit, almost at the end of my rope- stretched too thin. The thing is, I hate the mess but even after a massive week long overhaul, I revert to my bad habits and the place is trashed again. I like order, I just dont know how to maintain it. Its all I can do to work full time and balance sickness and poor health without making and keeping a tidy environment for myself.

GRRRR so frustrating!

Maz XX