Well, I've been researching symptoms of depression for quite a while and finally got the guts to sort of express how I feel and actually confront what is going on. For most of my young adult life I have been dealing with episodes where I feel completely lost, worthless and sad. Sometimes they will last for a couple days and sometimes they will occur and go away. Sometimes they are very isolated, and they mostly occur when I am completely alone although I have experienced episodes where I have been around others. When I am alone however, they usually start of with me feeling worthless and not loved. I start to then think myself deeper into a hole of depressed thoughts and will usually find my self crying for minutes or hours. It also hurts physically as well, and I have had thoughts about
death even though i could never fathom actually myself. During these times I usually am extremely irritable, but I AM able to climb out if other people around me cheer me up. I have been good at hiding these episodes but lately they seem like they are getting worse and are affecting my life. Recently I became so depressed that I didnt have the motivation to do anything and simple tasks became mundane. I have also wanted to turn to to help releave some of the pain even though i usually dont have the resources or contacts to get anything. I dont know what to do. Although these episodes seem bad at the moment, they can and usually do clear up later and I will feel fine. I am just scared that they will get the best of me soon even though I have been good at keeping this to myself. It's embarrassing for me to go to my friends or family because I feel like they will just think im exaggerating or being dramatic. I really don't understand what is wrong with me, I dont know if it is serious enough to get treatment, or if its just normal to feel this way. I remember having these episodes since i was a teenager, and I dont know if it is normal for teenagers to feel that way. I need answers and maybe some people can share their experiences with me and possibly relate.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 1/6/2010 1:39:20 PM (GMT-7)