Hi Shobna,
I think that the best thing you can do is just take care of your little one. Try to ignore what she says, it is senseless. She wants to hurt you but can only do so if you let her. I feel bad for the boys, as they are truly not happy with either parent. They definately sound spoiled, but it is the parents to blame. Both of them must be making bad decisions. So your husband is at just as much fault as his ex.
Know that they are going to always be a part of your life, and they might not appreciate you now, but will when they get older and realize how hard that you tried to help them. That is just the way it is with teenagers. So what seems so difficult now, will get better with time.
You have to forget what the ex said about you and your baby. I know that it is hard and it hurts, but she is going to be jealous no matter what. It sounds like she is very immature. But it sounds like your husband shoudl not have told you what she said. That was immature on his part.
There are a lot of years between you and your husband. There are sixteen years between me and my husband, so I know how it is living with an older man. It can be good for the most part, but it can be difficult as you have different views on life. But I am not saying that it wont work out. I am very happy in my marriage. We have had issues with his children, but they always work out. His boys really like me so that helps. And there isn't an ex to get in between. Just remember that the boys are always going to be a part of his life. That will not change. There will be other issues coming up, but I think if you focus on your baby and yourself, it will all work out. Ignore the ex. That is the best thing.
I hope that things get better for you and your family. Don't look down on the teenager because of the ex. It doesn't sound like your husband is going to give up on him, so you should try to accept that he is going to be a part of the family. ONe day at a time, that is my motto.
Best wishes,
Hugs, Karen