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Mother's Day- not a day of celebration

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Posted 5/9/2010 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
Mother's Day--a day that celebrates the bond between a mother & her child.  What does one do, when that bond is severed forever? I became a mother-for all the wrong reasons... I was selfish, in that I was looking for unconditional love from my child. The chronic depression, that I have lived with since childhood, had messed up my priorities and as a result--my child did not get the parent that she deserved.  I had (unrealistic) dreams of becoming super-Mom, and instead, I evolved into the mother from hell...  O.K., my main message here is: to all young/new mothers--you only get one chance (unless, you are blessed to have more than one child) to get it right, so don't let the depression control you, seek help & support whereever you can get it, and accept the fact, that noone can provide for you-- the love you are seeking; you have to find it within yourself.  I am lucky, if my daughter throws me a couple of emotional bread crumbs, now & then...  Every Mother's Day is a reminder of what I have lost, don't let it happen to you. take care all...
Posted 5/10/2010 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
I really think that it is important for you to forgive yourself for the past. I hope that you have done that or can do that. When we are young, we make mistakes. We can learn from them or we can dwell on them. I hope that you have learned from them. And I hope that your daughter has too and that you and her have a relationship. If not, you will. She will see that you did the best that you could at the time. And you probably thought you were doing what was best for her too. I hope that you can bring it in your heart to forgive yourself any mistakes in the past. We all make them.

Thinking of you,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/10/2010 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
thanks Karen, I am thankful that she still communicates with me at all... I don't know if I will <ever> be able to forgive myself completely, but I have accepted the fact, that I cannot change the past. I have tried hard to make amends, but she is sitting in the power seat now, and forgiveness is not on her agenda... I hope that<one day> we can begin a new relationship-- based on earned trust & a willingness to move forward <instead of backward>, and that I will be given a second chance to prove to my daughter--that she is, and <always> will be --my greatest accomplishment in Life.
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