Back to square one, by youngmil

very pleased for you. jamie.

Thanks for the post Youngmil,

I take it that the boxes are for work, not home. Though I know that you were contemplating moving out. Have you decided on that?

I am sorry that you have the added stress of her ex. That is no fun. But hopefully he will pay some child support and that will help financially.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. Sorry this is so short, not feeling too well today.

Hugs, Karen

It kind of seems like when it rains it pours even with the good things. It is like you have two good things to choose from and you hope that you pick the right one. I would consider the job in Colorado. Seriously think about it. Get ahold of them and see what all it entails. It is certainly an option for you. All I know is that I am so happy that everything is working out for the good. I am glad that you are feeling good about this new position. It is wonderful that everybody is welcoming you with open arms. I am truly happy.

It sounds like the ball is certainly in your court. Relish in the thought for awhile and enjoy it. Take it one day at a time. And go with it I guess. This is truly a good thing.

Hugs, Karen

Hi Youngmil,

I didn't realize that this job was one if you will, of demotion. That must be really hard for you. I know that you said that it wasn't really what you wanted though. Do you still get the same salary? It would be hard to have to get a decrease in salary too. I hope that you are still making the same. It sounds like your other manager could have been intimadated by you. My friend just lost her job because of the bosses girlfriend didn't like her. But she was able to prove that they didn't have a reason to fire her. Actually they didn't have proof that they did have a reason. She got her unemployment and hopefully a better job in the fall. The woman even had the guts to drop her insurance that she was paying for. But she got that back. But it goes to show what people will do when they are intimadated or don't like you. I have had my share of problems in the workforce myself by other jealous employees. And to have to work with them daily. That sucks. But I don't work anymore so I don't have that problem now.

Things will work out for you. You are intelligent and you have a good head on your shoulders. So don't lose hope Youngmil. You will get this worked out for the best. And you will have a job that you are comfortable with.

Have a great evening.

Hugs, Karen

I guess that you did, and that is good.  I get a better picture of the situation going on.  Maybe it is the right thing to do.  You need to be able to get on with your life and this way you will be able to.  Are you the sole supporter?  It seems that you said she works.  So she should be able to provide for herself.  Will she want alimony?  What about child support?  Or is that even a problem? 

I guess you pretty much have this figured out.  Good thinking on your part.  Though I hate to see any family split up.  This does sound like it is the right move on your part.  You can rediscover you again.  Do things that you want.  No more arguing.  It should be peaceful to say the least. 

Let us know how things are going.  Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen

I really think you are ready for the transition.  You have started the process, and I believe it is time to move on for you.  This is going to be a good change.  You will get stronger with time.  You will take care of yourself and wont have to put up with anybody's crap.  I think you are going to like this.  You can do what you want, when you want.  You wont have anybody to answer to.  Not that you did before, but I think you know what I mean. 

This might seem strange at first with nobody there with you, but you will get use to it.  Though you may embrace the silence, I don't know.  There is actually an energy in silence. 

Let us know how things are going and what is happening.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

It all sounds so complicated at this point, but I can see it doens't have to be.  And I think that you are doing all the right things.  I would read her letter though, just in case she did have something to say. 

It sounds like you two aren't even on the same planet here.  But I guess that is how things end up sometimes.  It sounds like you are more of a scheduled type person and driven where she is more of a live and let live type person.  And I guess there comes a point where they tend to collide, so you back off and just live your life.  I imagine that is the smartest thing to do at this point. 

I am really happy about this new job that you may get.  I really hope that you do.  Make sure to let us know what happens.  I am praying for you.  It sounds like just the right job for you.  I really hope that you get it. 

I am tired, have been lately, we have had some really hot weather and humid too.  Too much so for me.  I really wish that it would rain and rain good.  Then cool off.  Or at least get the humidity down.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen

Hi Youngmil,

I am sorry that my last post was so short.  I wasn't feeling up to par then.  I just wanted to let you know again how happy I am for you and that this is such a cool thing.  I hope that this new job works out well for you.  I hope that you keep posting so that you can let me know what's up. 

Keep up the good work.  Good luck on your new job.

Take care Youngmil.

Hugs, Karen

You are thinking very clearly and handling this very well.  I know that the situation is difficult.  But you will get through this.  She might come around when she sees you are serious about leaving.  Hard to say.  I don't think she expects this to happen.  It could be an awakening for her.  But I don't want to see her open up to you just because she is afraid you are leaving, but maybe it would be a start.  I don't know.  Like you say, who's to say how this is going to turn out.  But as long as you are happy, that is what matters right now.  I hope that you are happy with the transition.  I hope like ever that you get this job.  It sounds perfect for you.  Make sure to let me know what happens.

Take care Youngmil.  Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen

HI Youngmil,

I can see the importance of keeping a clean house.  Ours is small so it is cluttered, but I make my way through it.  I know where everything is, just can't always get to it.lol...

But yes, I can see your frustration, and she is not helping the kids by not making them clean up after themselves. 

I am finding that this computer takes up a lot of my time.  I find myself sitting in front of it when I could be doing something else.  Maybe that is what is going on with her.  It is addicting.  But her lack of family interaction really surprises me.  You would think she would care a little more.  I feel bad for the kids, once they get out on their own, they wont have a clue.  But what can you do???  You have tried your best.  And not getting anywhere is terribly frustrating for you, I can see that.  Hopefully when they grow up, they will see how hard you tried to help them.

One day at a time is all we can do.  I think you will be much happier once you move.  Keep your chin up.  Keep trying.  That is the best that you can do at this point.

Keep posting and let me know how things are going.  Thanks for the update.  I see things more clearly now.

Hugs, Karen

I use to listen to a program on the radio at night called Dalilah.  She was pretty good.  It was mostly young adults and teens that called in.  And a lot of sappy love advice, but it did take my mind off of things and I liked the music that was played in between.  So I can understand where you are coming from there.  It is entertaining too. 

Yes, deal with her when the time comes.  I can't believe that she doesn't have a clue.  Goes to show how much attention she is paying to your relationship.  She will know soon enough and you can deal with it then.  Maybe this way is better, you wont have time to think about changing your mind.  I know that you are going to miss the kids, but you will be able to see them when the time comes.  I didn't realize that they were as old as they are.  I kept picturing littler kids.  So they will be able to see you when they want to.  I think you are doing the right thing Youngmil.  You need to explore things at your own pace.  You have a lot of living to do.  And it seems that she was just keeping you in a funk, no moving forward.  I am glad that you are doing this for yourself.  Just keep prodding along at your own pace. 

My husband and I went out for breakfast this morning and then went to town and did some errands.  It was nice to get out with him.  I got a new crate for the puppyb as she outgrew hers.  So until I got that crate I was kind of stuck at home as she will get into things still.  So this was a treat for me.  Imagine that, laundromat, shopping a treat.  But the breakfast was wonderful and I got some things out of the way.  Let's you know the excitement in my life.  Though it never did take very much to entertain me.  I met a nice elderly couple at the laundromat and we had some nice conversation.  So that was a plus.  They were cute.

I hope that you have a good day Youngmil.  Know that you are doing what is right for yourself and I am happy for you.  I think that you are going to be much happier now.  It must be somewhat of a relief knowing that you are on your way to a better life.

Hugs, Karen

 

Hi Youngmil,

I am glad that you are getting your own storage unit.  That can save a lot of grief for you.  I am so sorry that she seems to be clueless to what is going on.  She doesn't seem to be paying attention to things,.  Sounds like she is in her own little comfortable world.  I am afraid that she will have a rude awakening coming up soon. 

Have you got a place yet?  I can't remember.  I hope that you find a nice place that you will be feeling comfortable with.

Will you have to pay alimony?  Do you think you will get divorced?  I guess to get on with your life, you may have to.  I guess you got grounds with her not being communacative with you.  I don't know.  I have never been through that, so I am clueless there. 

I wish the very best for you.  I want you to be happy.

Take care my friend.

Hugs, Karen