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Posted 7/15/2010 4:35 AM (GMT 0)
Pointing out the obvious, this is my first post =P I go by Che, 20yrs. To keep things short I suffer from depression(mild) and anxiety. I took meds when I was 16 with a "trial and error" type process. Nothing worked well. Most of the medicines I tried made me feel like a different person, one even landed me in the ER with a manic/psychotic episode. The more widely perscribed meds just did the usual rapid heartbeat, insomnia, weight gain side effects. After so many different medications and at least five different doctors, I just quit. Cold turkey--no more meds, no more doctor visits. From age 17 up till now my depression episodes have been limited. Most of the ones I do have pop up when I'm stressed out due to huge college workloads, fights with friends/family, etc. I've since learned how to avoid those confrontations(mostly) so depression isn't a huge issue for me anymore, but still present. Anxiety/paranoia is worse for me--attending university in a not so spectacular part of town does not help that at all either.
Anywho, today I had one of those "aha!" moments. I figured there had to be message boards and chatrooms out there for people that suffer from similar issues, so I used google and poof. Here I am, looking for people that understand where I'm coming from. It would be nice to have a support system of some sort, since my family and friends just don't have a clue...

Hope to talk to you all soon =) Thanks for reading,

--Che
Posted 7/15/2010 6:20 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Che, welcome.  I'm new too so we'll both feel our way out together.  I came online tonight and looked for a site like this because I just had such a very bad day, and have had so many bad days lately that I don't know what to do.  I just internalize everything and hate that I do. I can't let it go.  My work makes me miserable and people just always let me down. Things happened today that made me so angry, and there was no clear and easy way out of the anger, nor out of the dealing with the people that made me angry since they work for me.  Why do people have to be so horrible and get in the way of an otherwise good life and good job?  I have been off and on meds too for depression and got fed up with psychiatrists and counsellors long ago....some would say oh there there, you haven't found the right one. Whatever. I'm tired of looking.  It sucks to feel stressed and anxious and panicked all the time...I know that pain.  Anyway, I'm probably not helping as much as venting, but know that I'm thinking of you wherever you are and wishing you well.  I'm very alone in the world and tired of where my life has gone, and feel like a disappointment to myself and those around me.  I ache for belief in me, yet can't give it to myself.  I wanted someone to be in the chatrooms, but alas no. I guess I will try to sleep.

Posted 7/15/2010 8:18 AM (GMT 0)
i would like to say hi to both of you , im suffering with depression and moment ,constantly crying not knowing what to do and just want to stay in bed , i have two children but feel they would be better off without me cos im just bringing them down , i am also prob not helping but just getting things off my chest , i only joined this website yesterday but already people have listened to me , so please keep posting and let us all know how u r getting on and i am always willing to listen

take care

helen
Posted 7/15/2010 12:19 PM (GMT 0)
Depression is an incidious beast as Jamie would say.  We really have to fight it and the fight isn't easy. 

Here we all get together and try to work together on battling this and it really helps to have the support. 

I would like to welcome both of you to the HealingWell Depression forum and let you know that everybody here cares about one another. 

It is early, but I am sure that other members will post here throughout the day.

Any questions, please ask.  Any comments, please make.  Know that we are all here for you and do understand what you are going through.  With this being said, I must move on and read more posts.  I hope that you all have a lovely day.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 7/15/2010 2:42 PM (GMT 0)
tiredofbeingsad, venting always helps me when I feel less than perfect. I just wanted to let you know obviously you are NOT alone like your post said, there are tons of people on here that wouldn't mind listening to you and talking with you =) And I sympathize with the wanting to believe in yourself, but not being able to get there. With my group of friends I'm always the go-to person when there's a problem or someone just wants to talk, get advice. I find it so ridiculous sometimes that I can help them, fix whatever is going on for them, but when it comes to my personal life--I'm clueless half the time. I do feel like it's easier to "fix" other people than it is to focus that on yourself.

Htd14, your kids are NOT better off without you. Back when my depression/anxiety problems started, my parents were having a hard time figuring out what to do for me and I used to believe that I would be better off if I could just handle things myself---wrong wrong wrong! Kids need direction, need someone to look up to...in my opinion they should be your inspiration =)

Good to see proof that people are out there willing to listen =)

--Che
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