I really don't know what happen to me

Hello! I am having a bad time for years. I don't know how to help myself. I am divorced and I'm still living with my Ex., why? because the economic situation, and my English. Very deep in my heart I want to be alone. He is trying to be nice, helper, etc., but I don't love him anymore. He is allways over my live no matter what I said to him. Some days I feel good with that, but others I just want to run out. I don't know how to explain him, that I rather to be by myself. My English is not good enough and I ask him to help me for everything; my car is broken he fix it, if I have to do something in my job he is there, he do my taxes, I feel like I can never be better because my language is driving me crazy, because I can not pay for my broken car, my taxes, a handyman, make a call. What happen to me? Is there anyone out who can help me to understand why I feel too insecure. I bealive in myself but I am so scare, not to get the goal that I want in my future because my English is broke and the money is not good now for me. I want to travel but I feel scare to do it alone, I want to do so many things but I am terrified. I feel unsatisfied. This is my first time doing this so I don't know how that work! Thanks to everyone who had the patience to read my problem.

Thank You so much! Karen, I work by myself, that is the reason he worked as a handyman in my place. I have a big overhead and that's why I getting trouble with my job. Thank You again, he is helping me because he think we can back in the relationship. I cannot do anything more than be in home and back to work. I will try to be more confident to make decision and go forward with this. I speak English every day, when I am working, my 90% of costumers are Americans but I feel that I broke the language, well you can see. I was thinking to buy the program Rosetta Stone When the economic situation is gone and speak well English. I will be posting and learn to others.

My respects,

Dulcinea.

Thank You Harrington49, Yes I already told him the relationship is over. I appreciate your advice, I will keep in touch to let you guys know about my progress. Last night I was thinking to move to the store when the apartment list is over in January, I have to sacrifice a little bit. That is going to be hard but could help me to feel independent, I can save money and my mood is going to be better too. You know I feel very sad and angry with myself. When I was young I was very independent, and brave. I came to U.S.A with my daughter, no family, no English (nothing), after I married with him something happen to me that I am now the most insecure person that I never met. But let see the only one who can do change is me. Thank You so much your advise is will helping me a lot.


Hugs, Dulcinea.