Trying to pull myself together

hang in there frances.

i wish i could opt out to my local buddhist society an hr or so from me. but this, for me would be a cop out. maybe later on in life!! i am here for you. i am so sorry about you getting evicted, this royally sucks!! hoping your thyroid condition settles soon. all the best with the job. everything is crossed. you deserve a break, big time. sending healing thoughts your way.

the mad professor,

-jamie.

thanks for your support. the HR "formality" interview turned out not to be a formality. now it looks like i won't get the job due to bad credit. so frustrating!!!!!

How can they base a job on your credit? That is not fair. I don't understand it. It just doesn't seem fair. What does your credit have to do with working? Oh well, I am so sorry about this.

Hugs, Karen

Frances:  I just read your last comments.  Congratulations!!  What incredible timing! 

I truly hope that your job opportunity will be saved by this. 

We both know that we have been on parallel paths these past 2 years with not being able to find jobs and fighting for survival in our homes.  I am truly sorry to hear that yours is ending in the manner that it is.  I understand how painful this time has been.

But the saying that "when one door closes a new one opens" might be applicable here.  Please keep posting and let us know what happens.  I am rooting for you!

Cass

Dear Frances,

 I am so sorry you have had to go through such difficulties lately. We live in the same state and I too saw on the news that employers are not permitted to

use a credit report to keep you from a job. So I hope that all goes well for you with this news. I can understand that you will be glad to leave your home. Maybe moving to a new place will renew your spirits and help you to put some of these past bad times behind you. You are sounding more confident and that

is good. Somehow all will work out in your favor and you can get rid of all this stress. I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. You are such a

kind and wonderful person and you deserve to have a good future.

Many hugs,

Aurora

Karen,
They didn't have a law that allowed them to run credit checks before, they just didn't have one that prohibited it. Almost every state in the Union allows pre-employment credit checks. As backward as my beloved state is, we're actually ahead of the pack on this protection. Congress is trying to get something similar passed as a federal law. Who knows whether or not it will pass, but at this point it doesn't matter for me. Go Illinois. :)

Still haven't heard back from the HR lady yet. My goodness how long does it take for them to decide whether or not they're giving me an offer!

frances

Thanks, it would be nice to get settled, but I do have a friend who said he discussed my qualifications with his boss & if I don't go with the company where I'm temping for a permanent job, his boss is going to bring me in for an interview for a consultant-to-hire position. Yea. :)
So at least I have an option that doesn't mean unemployment. But I'd rather be able to start sooner rather than later. By October it's not easy to find apartments around here. They jack up the prices b/c that's when many people move. :(

But the upside is that at least I still have my good insurance for now. Trying a new pain med tomorrow. Hoping it can work better. Course I probably could get some pain relief just by finishing up my packing. I'm in pain all the time & can't get much sleep from the sharp shooting pains in almost every position. And of course not sleeping is bad both for the pain & for the depression. And all the worrying about everything doesn't help anything at all.

If I do hear back, I will definitely let you all know. Haven't heard back from the evil mortgage people either. They were saying I'd probably have to move out by the 18th, but now they've stopped communicating with my lawyer so who knows what they're scheming up. I should feel badly for missing my mortgage payments, but these people have been so hateful that I will be glad to be rid of them. At least they haven't called lately. The PMI people are calling, but they only call once every 2 days & are civil. It's still stressful b/c of all the guilt & shame I feel, but at least they aren't telling me to send my food, medicine & doctor money to the mortgage people.

I guess I just have to keep waiting. My lawyer calls them every day; now he's taken to writing them letters. I sure hope we can resolve this soon so that once I move everything will just be happy. :)

hope you're doing okay.

frances

God, why do they keep dragging this out. I wish they'd just turn me down for the job so the stress of not knowing would go away. I'm physically in pain I'm in so much stress right now.

And I'm supposed to be upping my thyroid meds but I can't afford them & my PCP won't give me anything else b/c she says it's my thyroid that's causing the depression & anxiety. But insurance doesn't cover my medicine & I can't afford it right now.

I am just really struggling to keep it together today. I am losing that battle. On days like these I have to wonder why I even bother to fight b/c it seems like all I do is go from one misery to another. I'm having flashbacks & that's not helping things at all. And I turned in my pain meds b/c I wasn't sure whether the pain was from something real or just memories of when I would be beaten to within an inch of my life. I am losing my mind & I can't deal with that. I don't want to live not knowing what's real & what isn't.

Hey Frances,

I am sorry that you are going throught this.  Do you think that there is any chance that you might have fibromyalgia along with your other conditions?  Just a thought.  The fatigue and pain remind me of that.  And not being able to perceive whether it is real or not.  Because fibro is such a strange disorder.  Did the pain meds help you any?  It is hard to kill pain when you do have this disorder.  But it can become tolerable. 

I really would like to see things straighten out for you.  You have been struggleing for a long time.  You deserve a break, I know that you are trying so hard.  It probably seems unbearable.  But keep hanging in there.  One day at a time.  That is all that we can do.  Know that we are all here behind you cheering you along.  Know that we do care.

Hugs, Karen

It is miserably hot and humid here too so I totally understand that part and that it doesn't help the situation.  Tomorrow we are suppose to have thunderstorms and then cooler on Sunday.  I am looking forward to that.  It is suppose to be cooler for a few days.  I hope that it is for you too. 

Hang in there Frances, things are going to fall into place for you.  They can't get blood out of a rock and they can't let you go homeless.  I hope that you find some answers soon.  I am praying for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen

sending my luv 2 ya frances. jamie. it's darn unfair!!!

I agree, Jamie. It is unfair.

And after what a doctor said to me the other day I pulled out some health records & it seems like it's like this every mid August-late October. I start getting in worse pain in August, thyroid starts spinning out of control & by October I'm ready to jump. Somehow I gotta figure out what the heck goes on during those months. It just doesn't make much sense. Doesn't seem related to the weather -- last year was unseasonably warm, the one before was an early frost & the ones before that were average. I don't have anything horrible happen to me in those months -- in fact usually those are the most stable times of the year for me when I'm employed & have health benefits & there's more social activities in which I can participate, etc. So it just doesn't make much sense.

Why would I be the most miserable during the time when I have a job, fun things to do, stability & usually someone I'm dating? I don't think it's something silly like hating things to be steady, but I can't figure anything else out.

Course right now there's just a lot going on, but I still feel like it's so crazy that this pattern keeps occurring year after year. On meds, off meds, changed meds -- nothing seems to matter. But there must be something to it.

Well, I'm off to bed. Hope you all have a decent Monday.

frances