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not sure what kind of depression this is.....

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Depression
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Posted 8/12/2010 8:43 AM (GMT 0)
so mainly i have an issue with me. i've been this way for a very long time. ever since i was a kid. and its very hard for me to have any sort of self esteem i dont believe in myself. problem is everytime i take peoples advices to try n make things better it never works i always feel worse. i have no friends n i hate my family. my father committed suicide when i was 15. its been 6 years now since he been dead n i still cant get over it. everyone keeps tellin me it takes time. well times given me nothin but agony inside me. im constantly tearing myself apart. i cant never do anything right! im constantly making mistakes! i feel like a freaking retard! i probably am, but what the hell can i do about it?! im super clumsy to so that never helps. and any ounce of confidence i manage to conjure up sometimes someone always has to tear it down!..... basically... i hate myself, i feel ugly, i feel no accomplishments! what the hell am i doing wrong.....
Posted 8/12/2010 11:39 AM (GMT 0)
You are never going to get your confidence from others. You have to believe you are important, loving and worthwhile. The first thing you need to do is stop saying you are clumsy, ugly, hate yourself, can't do anything right etc.... Take these out of your vocabulary now. I did, and it worked. Tell yourself every day in the mirror that you are a worthwhile and loving person.

It sounds like you need some counseling to get over your dad's suicide.

Take care.
Posted 8/12/2010 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Welcome to the Depression forum. I agree with Myjoy. You have to learn to love yourself. And I think that you could use some counseling to help you get over the loss of your father.

Try to take one day at a time. We have a tendancy to worry about the future and dwell on the past. So we have to slow ourselves down. Pay attention to what you are doing at that time. That helps with the clumsyness. I use to have that problem too. For instance when I was washing dishes. I would have to talk myself through each dish so I wouldn't drop it. So I understand what you are going through there. But you can overcome all of this with help.

Take care, keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/16/2010 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
I have been exactly where you are and I am still working on it. The important thing to remember is that we have to make mistakes to learn. I feel like sometimes I have to make the same mistakes 15 times in order to learn where other people only need to do it once. I know what its like to feel alone and to dislike your family. I was married to an abuser and when I finally go the guts to leave him I lost all of my friends as well. My mom was real abusive to me as a child and she has a major drug problem so I keep my distance with her. I am so lonely at times as I'm sure you are to. But we have to realize to everything happens for a reason. Maybe you are going through this because you will be helping people in similar situations later on in your life. Try to stay strong and remember that this 2 shall pass. Praying for you
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